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'Tell Your Children You Love Them WARNING : CONTAINS SUICIDE AND TRIGGERS

post #1 of 14
4/26/11 at 8:05am
Thread Starter 

This is such a sad story but the message the moms give is such a good one to remember.  WARNING: MAY BE UPSETTING.

 

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/4276/324

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post #2 of 14
4/26/11 at 8:09am
Thread Starter 

I dont know why the link doesnt work but if you go to the today show website and type in teen suicide you will get the story.

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post #3 of 14
4/26/11 at 2:09pm

You intrigued us, and the link is broken :(

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post #4 of 14
4/26/11 at 5:41pm
very sad story. greensad.gif
Here is the link


http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42761324/ns/today-today_people/
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post #5 of 14
4/26/11 at 6:00pm

DH and I talk about this all the time. 

It is so upsetting to think that there are middle school aged kids who are so sad, so desperate they do this. 

I don't get it, I don't ever remember the bullying being like this when I was in middle or even high school. It's easy to blame but it seems like technology has made it so much easier to be vicious without having to say things to one another's faces.

Those poor mothers are never going to forgive themselves...bawling.gif

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post #6 of 14
4/27/11 at 2:11pm

The bullying has always been vicious - the net just give people extra venues for it. And, I clearly remember wanting to take enough pills to go to "sleep" (and never wake up) occasionally in 7th grade...and fairly regularly in 8th. I was cutting (although it wasn't talked about so much back then) in...9th grade, I think. I took all our remaining painkillers (Tylenol? Aspirin? I can't even remember) in 11th grade - was violently ill for day or so, and had a buzzing ringing in my ears for several days, but woke up at my usual time.

 

The trigger? Bullies. That all started right around 1980. I knew other kids my age who were going through fairly similar scenarios. I'm not convinced it's much worse than it used to be - just recognized a lot more now.

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post #7 of 14
4/27/11 at 2:25pm

Whenever I hear someone tell teens that "suicide isn't the answer", I wish they were putting their energy into actually giving teens resources to help. There are so few resources that respect teens' dignity, that I can understand why suicide sometimes feels like the answer.

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post #8 of 14
4/27/11 at 3:50pm

I don't doubt bullying was as prevalent then as it is now.

I basically had a nervous break down in 7th grade thanks to some nice girls in my grade who tormented me. Made me think they were my friends then did things like try to take pictures of me in the shower at a sleep over to pass around school.

My mom actually let me skip the last 3 weeks of school that year to go visit my grandparents, I was falling apart at the seams and she could see it, even if she didn't know how to really help it..

 

I just feel like today you can send something via text or facebook and not have to think about the words you are saying because you don't have to actually look that person in the eye...It's just crazy. I don't remember other kids setting each other on fire (that boy in Florida I think it was)

or kids beating each other to the brink of death a lot...It's scary to think DD could deal with things like that. Terrifying actually. It all comes back to the bullies.

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post #9 of 14
4/27/11 at 5:40pm

I too think it is a lot more recognized now than it was then.  I think that cyberbullying has perhaps added an additional avenue for bullying, but I don't think it is any worse per se.  I was terribly bullied in the early 70s.  My parent's response?  Deal with it.  The difference now is that we perhaps recognize that bullying has a negative effect on a lot of children, and we are more concerned now.  It never even occurred to my parents to intervene with any type of bullying, they more or less saw it as a toughing up process.  It molded me, though, and to this day I deal with self-image problems that I doubt that I would deal with had I not been bullied.  Girls were usually the most cruel, although boys jumped on the bandwagon when they felt it would pump up their own images.  I dealt with suicidal thoughts on almost a daily basis when I was a teen, and that was almost 35 years ago.  I hope my own DD never has to go through that.

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post #10 of 14
4/27/11 at 8:11pm

please edit the title of the thread to say that it mentions suicide and contains triggers

 

I really don't know if bullying is worse now or not. I think it is harder for kids to escape because at least back in the old days, you left the bullies behind when you went home. Now they follow you on the internet, facebook, and through texting. The kids never get a break from it.  But yes, bullying has always been vicious.

 

Both the girls were in counseling for depression, and I'm sure the mothers did everything they could think of.  I do wonder why they still had internet access because if my child were being bullied via facebook, we would end facebook.

 

I know a mother who printed out all the nasty text messages from a girl at her DD's school and gave them to the girl's mother. It ended the bullying from the girl via texting -- she really had no idea that all that stuff leaves a trail.

 

I am the mother of a 14 year old who has been in counseling for depression. This story really hits home for me. My DD is going great right now. She's really happy. But my heart breaks for those moms. I can see how this could happen to any parent.

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post #11 of 14
4/28/11 at 7:35am
Thread Starter 

I'm sorry about the broken link and the title guys....I just edited it.  Didnt mean to upset anyone.

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post #12 of 14
4/28/11 at 9:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr.Worm View Post

I'm sorry about the broken link and the title guys....I just edited it.  Didnt mean to upset anyone.



thank you for sharing the link in the first place though!

It is a tough topic but an important one all the same...

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post #13 of 14
4/28/11 at 9:10am


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ldavis24 View Post





thank you for sharing the link in the first place though!

It is a tough topic but an important one all the same...



agreed, and I'm glad I saw the story. I can see how it would be a trigger, though, so I thought that there should be a warning for those who are especially sensitive to this topic.

 

I think that the conversation about how technology has effected (or hasn't effected) bullying is an interesting one, and sadly one that many of us will face as parents. I think that the line between allowing our children freedom and protecting them from harm is difficult.

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post #14 of 14
4/28/11 at 12:28pm
Thread Starter 

Thank you guys.  It is a very difficult subject to talk about for sure.

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