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How was the birth of your first? - Page 8

Poll Results: What was your FIRST baby's birth like? (check all that apply)

This is a multiple choice poll
  • 37% (204)
    100% Natural
  • 18% (102)
    IV
  • 15% (83)
    Pitocin (or other contraction stimulant)
  • 17% (92)
    Epidural (or other pain/sleep meds)
  • 7% (39)
    C-Section
  • 2% (16)
    Vacuum
  • 0% (5)
    Forceps
541 Total Votes  
post #141 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by ElizabethE View Post

I am amazed whenever I hear beautiful hospital birth stories. :)





What a strange comment to make. If you were to peruse the birth stories forum you will find many stories of happy, beautiful birth stories that take place in (gasp) a hospital. Just because it isn't your idea of perfect does not make it something that could or should be considered rare.

 

I don't think it's such a strange comment.  Many, many women wind up with a birth experience that is not what they want, and that is exacerbated by being in a medicalized environment.  If I hadn't had the support I had with my mother and midwives, and if I hadn't been watchful and very clear about what I wanted, things would have happened that are "routine" in the hospital before I got a chance to refuse them.  I found the staff to be so accustomed to doing things a certain way that they were taken off guard when I asked what they were doing and insisted that they explain to me fully and let me decide each and every step of the way.  Of course, beautiful birth stories occur everywhere, but I would say that a disproportionate number of birth horror stories, or at least not-so-beautiful birth stories occur in hospitals.
 

 

post #142 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElizabethE View Post

I am amazed whenever I hear beautiful hospital birth stories. :)


I had amazing natural births in the hospital both times. I would never give birth at home. Each family should do what's best for them.
post #143 of 168

TC, what I said wasn't meant to offend. In fact, I just sort of blurted it out, and it was meant actually in kindness. My own personal experience has been that hospital births (mine, most other women I know, and even women I don't know) are seldom described as having been beautiful. In my experience, that does seem rare. So I meant it in a very nice way. I'm pleasantly surprised by truly beautiful hospital births.

 

headscratch.gif

post #144 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnygir1 View Post



 

I don't think it's such a strange comment.  Many, many women wind up with a birth experience that is not what they want, and that is exacerbated by being in a medicalized environment.  If I hadn't had the support I had with my mother and midwives, and if I hadn't been watchful and very clear about what I wanted, things would have happened that are "routine" in the hospital before I got a chance to refuse them.  I found the staff to be so accustomed to doing things a certain way that they were taken off guard when I asked what they were doing and insisted that they explain to me fully and let me decide each and every step of the way.  Of course, beautiful birth stories occur everywhere, but I would say that a disproportionate number of birth horror stories, or at least not-so-beautiful birth stories occur in hospitals.
 

 


Hmm. I don't think it's so disproportionate. Considering that most births take place in hospitals... and also the nature of a hospital versus other environments... I think the proportions are correct. But I do agree with everything else you said! :)

 

post #145 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by philomom View Post



Quote:
Originally Posted by ElizabethE View Post

I am amazed whenever I hear beautiful hospital birth stories. :)




I had amazing natural births in the hospital both times. I would never give birth at home. Each family should do what's best for them.

I have found that it is very hard to accomplish what you have, so if nothing else, it is a credit to you.
 

 

post #146 of 168
My first was a 100% natural home birth. Awesome in every way!

Planning for another home birth in July.
post #147 of 168
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElizabethE View Post



A word on "it's not about you anymore, it's about a healthy baby"-- this is a sentiment echoed throughout most of our lives, and if push comes to shove is true. However, this is not always a you vs. the baby thing, or that labor is merely the irrelevant means to an end. Usually a healthy and happy mother and labor equals the best possible outcome for baby, but that gets glossed over in favor of the preferences of others. Plus, if the mother is put through something that doesn't sit well with her (body or soul), that will obviously have an effect on both her and the baby for years to come. In fact, the "it's not about you, it's about the baby" is something so many of us have had to suck up and swallow down in a very hard pill form, while we put on a happy face and act like we were not hurt or scarred by our experiences. I don't think we should be dismissed any more. :) I'm sure our babies wouldn't want that for us, either.

 



So what I was thinking of was my own experience... I'd hoped for a water birth. I wanted my son to be placed directly on my chest and to wait for the cord to stop pulsing. I wanted there to be very few people present at the birth and not to be pressured by time. Well... DS had heavy meconium staining so his cord was immediately cut and he was taken to be suctioned by the NICU team that was standing in the room waiting for him to come out. Now, I can be disappointed that I didn't get that perfect postpartum picture of mother and baby or I can be elated that my son was healthy and in my arms within a few minutes. At that moment I would have sacrificed anything of myself for the baby's health. I think that's when I knew I was a mother. 

post #148 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElizabethE View Post




Read about the physiology of birth! If you start of just googling that, I bet that will be greatly helpful for you in determining the specific factors in the likelihood of interventions!!! :) <-------------------------- !!!!!

 

You were not a failure. First of all, the setup was probably all wrong, even though you may have tried hard to make it all right. And that would not be your fault... it just is. At some point saying yes to interventions is almost inevitable. For one, the hormonal changes you experience at that time make you more vulnerable and receptive to suggestions. That's just your biology. Secondly, the way we handle birth in general (even with a doula or a midwife in an attempt at a natural method) is not so conducive to saying "no". We have a need to do the right thing as society has laid it out to us, trust our caregivers, be good patients, etc. At some point we feel like they truly know better so saying "no" seems to feel wrong or even taboo for us.

 

A word on "it's not about you anymore, it's about a healthy baby"-- this is a sentiment echoed throughout most of our lives, and if push comes to shove is true. However, this is not always a you vs. the baby thing, or that labor is merely the irrelevant means to an end. Usually a healthy and happy mother and labor equals the best possible outcome for baby, but that gets glossed over in favor of the preferences of others. Plus, if the mother is put through something that doesn't sit well with her (body or soul), that will obviously have an effect on both her and the baby for years to come. In fact, the "it's not about you, it's about the baby" is something so many of us have had to suck up and swallow down in a very hard pill form, while we put on a happy face and act like we were not hurt or scarred by our experiences. I don't think we should be dismissed any more. :) I'm sure our babies wouldn't want that for us, either.

 



I always cring when I hear people say, "It's not about you, it's about a healthy baby," or other variations of that because it seems like they think I planned homebirths out of selfishness; putting myself ahead of my child, when just the opposite is true! I do homebirths because I believe it is what is the safest, healthiest option for my children.

 

post #149 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by MnMtm View Post





I always cring when I hear people say, "It's not about you, it's about a healthy baby," or other variations of that because it seems like they think I planned homebirths out of selfishness; putting myself ahead of my child, when just the opposite is true! I do homebirths because I believe it is what is the safest, healthiest option for my children.

 

I think it's one of those statements that can mean a variety of things, depending on the context. Some people probably mean it the way that you indicate...others may intend to be supportive or kind. In general, I think it's a bad idea to make this kind of statement about another woman's birth, because you are basically telling her what her birth is supposed to be about. I believe that a woman can and should decide for herself what her birth is about.

 

If I woman wants to say this about her own birth, however, I think that's a totally different story. As a PP mentioned, for some who go through an unexpected or difficult experience, this kind of perspective is helpful. Again, a woman can decide for herself what her birth experience is about.
 

 

post #150 of 168

my biggest obstacle in having a natural birth (which annoyingly ended in an c-section) in the hospital was my ob. 

 

the nurses were amazing, so supportive and helpful (and it was christmas eve & christmas day so i went through 7 different nurses as they reduced the staff).  i wish i had switched my ob prior to delivery, but i had a potential complication and it was awkward, i didn't want to offend him, and i though we had a good enough relationship and that it would work, but he thought i was being "brave" and "macho" for wanting a natural birth, i thought he was kind of just teasing me, but sure enough, he wasn't supportive during labor.  no kidding he walked into my room 7 hrs into my 17 hr labor, sat on the stool next to me, took my hand mid contraction and said "oh dear, you are suffering, don't you want an epidural?"  WTF!!!  so condescending and unsupportive! even the nurses were shocked by this.  so ladies, trust your gut, make sure you trust your ob, switch if you don't.

post #151 of 168

I had no interventions listed above until we broke my water after stalling at 8 cm for 10 hrs. Waters had mec and the heart tones dropped and stayed there, so we transferred immediately. Heart rate back up by the time we were at the hospital, but would drop for long periods when I started pushing, so I ended up getting an IV and vacuum. He did fine, but the cord had a true knot that was tightening, so I am not unhappy that we went to the hospital.

 

My second delivery was an unplanned unassisted delivery in my living room as we tried to get to the car to go to the birth center; no water birth for either baby. My kids like to mess with my plans!!

post #152 of 168

Nothing with Dylan.

 

With Ava I had an IV of fluids for dehydration and pitocin to help birth the placenta but both of those were after she came out. She was my hospital birth.

post #153 of 168

I did Bradley, read "Birthing from Within" and Ina Mays Childbirth.

 

I hired a doula and had an OB who was enthusiastic to help me through drug free labor, and I had a C section when DD's heart rate dropped dangerously lower and lower and lower and lower with each contraction and I was still only 3 cm.

post #154 of 168

I was induced with my first son for severe pre-eclampsia at 37w5d. I of course had pitocin and then an epidural, but managed an easy vaginal delivery as I was quite favorable for induction.

 

My second son I only had an IV and epidural after going into labor naturally, coincidentally also at 37w5d. I didn't require any augmentation and really didn't need the epidural, but they told me it was my last chance to get it so I took it ;) 

post #155 of 168

My first was born at the local hospital.   My provider was a CNM/OB group, and after I indicated I wanted to see the midwives, that's all I saw.   

 

The hospital is the largest in about an hour radius (or more) but is still quite small.   At the time, they did not have a staff anesthesiologist, so they only offered intrathecals, not true epidurals.   Because intrathecals aren't left in place to deliver continuous meds, they only last about 90 minutes and wear off fast when they're gone.  Because of that, all local practioners at the time strongly encouraged women to wait until they were very very far along in labor to get one if they wanted it.   This also meant the medicated labor rate at the time was pretty low (I think it was less than half?) and the nursing staff were very used to natural birth.

 

The hospital requested a birth plan -- they handed out binders of information to expecting moms at about 35 weeks with info on breastfeeding etc, and there was a fill-in-the-blank birth plan that covered desire for medication, whether you'd prefer to tear over an episiotomy, whether you planned to nurse, circumcise, etc.   A copy stayed with your provider and a copy went on file at the hospital and was actually pulled and reviewed when you showed up.     Hospital also has a large jetted tub for laboring moms. AT the time, there wasn't a real nursery at all -- which meant anyone in labor at less than 36 weeks got life-flighted to a hospital with a better nursery.  There was a room that they called the nursery, but no one was ever in it that I saw -- everyone roomed in.

 

I went into labor at 40 weeks exactly, got checked by the CNM who found me at 5cms, went to the hospital, spent awhile in the tub, then got fidgety and wanted to pace around (hello transition!) so got out, paced and rocked for awhile while DH and midwife hung out.   Water broke while I was trying to use the bathroom, contractions immediately switched to strong urges to push.  Pushed squatting or half-squatting for about 45 minutes, pushing entirely with the uncontrollable urges to push.   Pushing felt really good -- like I was weightlifting with each heave downwards.  Never felt the ring of fire (Midwife was saying I probably was, I was all, "Um, no, it doesn't burn it actually feels kinda good.")   Midwife thought baby would be out faster based on how fast he started to descend, but I'm pretty sure in retrospect he had to rotate - he was posterior the whole pregnancy.   DH and I were cracking jokes between pushes about how baby must have my big Dutch nose and that's what was hanging things up.  

 

But finally he squooged out in a satifying "ploop."    Despite meconium staining, there was no panic, and baby went straight to my belly where he was gently towelled off a bit and immediately put to the breast for his first nursing before they took him back to clean him up, weigh him etc.  No one yanked on my cord and they waited to cut it until it stopped pulsing.   I was higher than a kite on birth hormones and hungry as heck!!   They got me a big plate of whatever was for dinner and I wolfed that down while DH rocked the baby.   I remember feeling like I was ready to get up and dance around, and it being wierd that I was a little wobbly when I hopped out of bed to pee after I got cleaned up and changed and ate.   I felt so awesome. -- I described the whole thing in an email when I got home as "awe-full, as in I was filled with awe by the entire experience." 

 

I saw lactation consultants and got what I now know was really good advice.  Most of the nurses had also gone through the process to become LCs, so they all were great with answering questions, etc.  They made sure nursing was getting off to a solid start before we left, as well as checking out the fact that DS turned yellow right away (midwife had predicted it - "That's a really ruddy baby," she said.  "He's gonna be really yellow by tomorrow.")

 

So yeah, my first birth was pretty damned awesome.   Even in a hospital.   I'd  done my reading, I'd talked frankly with the midwives about all their policies.  I also lucked out in that my local hospital still knew (knows, I hope) what birth looks like and didn't need to turn it into a conveyor belt.   But I went in figuring I'd do my best and came out feeling like a million bucks...

post #156 of 168

Mine was a birth center transfer, followed by pit and an emergency c/s.  I was at 39 weeks and my membranes ruptured--a slow leak with no meconium.  For over 50 hours we waited and tried it all--acupuncture, nipple stim., herbs, castor oil.  (Yuck.)  I never had a contraction.  The first day out the non-stress test showed babe doing fine.  The second day, not so fine.  My midwife sent me to the hospital for an untrasound, and from there I was admitted.  Even with the pit. I never really felt anything, but the heart rate was getting worse and worse.  The hospital midwife said if I'd been anywhere near giving birth we might've done it yet, but I hadn't even started.  The funny thing was, I never at any time had an exam.  I have no idea whether I was ever even slightly dilated, effaced, whatever.  I guess not.  But I am very afraid the next time will be a repeat--that my body just doesn't know how to labor.   

post #157 of 168

First real contraction started around 11pm (I was walking around with contractions for 2 weeks). Got to the hospital at around 4:30am, when contractions were 2-3 mins apart. The pain started getting unbearable around 6am. I didn't know what to expect, but felt that if the pain got any worse, I wouldn't be able to handle it. At 7:30am, the midwife said I was 1cm dilated, cervix paper-thin. She told me to get up and walk around to speed things up, but walking worsened the pain. I couldn't find a comfortable position. I ended up sitting on the toilet bowl, trying to poop, and also, it was the only way the contractions didn't hurt as bad. By 8:30am, the head crowned, and baby came sliding out into the toilet bowl with one push.

 

Thanks to baby's quick arrival, all this happened without interventions, thank goodness... but for next time, I'd do more preparation for dealing with contractions. 

post #158 of 168

My first birth was a 100% natural homebirth.  I know that many people feel that they'd like to have a homebirth for their 2nd after they have had a "successful" birth in the hospital.  I can tell you that if I had not birthed at home with my 1st, I would have definitely ended up with multiple interventions -- I had a very slow to start labor (3+ days), with several long periods of consistent, strong contractions.  I think there are very few hospitals that would not have felt the need to "augment" my natural pattern and start the cascade of interventions.

 

I was in a mom's group after my DD1 was born, and more than half of those mamas had CS's, and I was the only one who had a natural birth -- despite several who planned and wanted a natural birth.  I felt very discouraged and felt like a complete alien when we shared our birth stories.

post #159 of 168

Homebirth (both times) :)

post #160 of 168

I did have a heplock but did not actually receive anything by it, and I wouldn't qualify that or a cervical check as an intervention. I think I had a very easy first birth in comparison to some, started and progressed naturally, with only ~ 4 1/2 hours of actual hard labor (that includes 1 hour of pushing). My care providers were very hands-off -- lots of verbal support and my husband gave physical support as well, but nobody was trying to touch me or speed me along all the time or anything like that.

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