The Family Bed and Expecting Another Baby

[NurseKerry]

I'm looking for advice: my 20 month old has been bed sharing with us since he was born.  Right now, we have his crib up against our bed (with the side of the crib that faces our bed taken off).  We lay with him until he falls asleep, then sneak out so we have a couple of hours 'off' in the evening.  Usually sometime in the middle of the night, he crawls into bed with us and stays there until morning.  This has worked out really well for us so far.  However, I am expecting a baby October 1st and I'm really unsure of how to proceed from here.  I have two thoughts: either try to get him sleeping independently asap so that he's comfortable long before baby arrives, or keep going with what we are doing.  My worries are that I have no idea how to help him learn to sleep independently without totally rocking his world, but I also am unsure about how to bed share with a newborn and a toddler (and unsure if that's even safe).  Anyone have any advice for me?

[PAgreenmama]

i just came here to write a very similar post except that my dd is 3 and i'm due next month.... so we are almost definitely going to try to do a family bed together!  i'm interested in what others have to say :)

[rzberrymom]

I shared the bed with both my kiddos when the new baby came. I didn't feel right about sending my older DD into another room--I guess I didn't like the idea of what it would do to her bond with the baby if DH, the baby and I were all together and she was somewhere else by herself.

But, we've also done *whatever* it takes to get everyone a good night sleep--when it got too crowded she slept on a little mattress next to our bed, if the baby was having a tough night and keeping them awake she and DH would go to the other room, etc. We do a lot of musical beds depending on how things are going.

[D_McG]

With both of my pregnancies we moved the toddler out into their own bed before the birth with the idea that they could join us later at some point in the night if they really had to.

this was especially nice because if the baby was having a bad night I could deal with them in peace and not have to deal with the toddler. DH took over toddler nighttimes. On a good night with the baby if the toddler came in then it was fine.

Now I have 2 (4 and 2 years old) and we tell them both to really really really try not to come in anymore. I am in a lot of pain this late in my pregnancy. They are mostly respectful of that but maybe once a week we have a visitor. That's OK.