Changing bedtime routine before new baby arrives - DD only wants mummy

[Zimbah]

DD, 2.5, only wants me, mummy to put her to bed at bedtime.  Sometimes she's happy with daddy, but usually even if she starts off with him putting her down she then starts crying and sobbing for me.  I think this is a phase as in the past she's been ok with either of us and we had a while where we specifically took turns so she'd get used to either of us putting her down.  But the past month or more she really only wants me, and I feel like she really does need me at bedtime.  I'm 38 weeks pg and expect that any day now I often won't be able to put her to bed if I'm feeding the baby.  Obviously I don't want it to be New baby arrives, mummy won't do bedtime anymore, as that could be very disruptive and distressing for her.  But on the other hand, trying to swap her to DH doing bedtime is pretty traumatic at the moment and isn't really working either.  Help!

[HidaShara]

Oh man, I'm basically just subbing 'cause I'm in a similar spot. DD is 33 (?) weeks ("two and three-quarters!") old and I am 28 weeks pregnant, and still her primary/only nighttime caregiver. She likes daddy well enough the rest of the time, but for bedtime & any middle-of-the-night wakes, it's mummy only.

Our deal right now is that daddy does the "soft" bedtime prep (brushing teeth, peeing, putting on PJs, reading books) and then I come and sit/lie with her until she falls asleep - which sometimes takes a full hour, no joke. But sometimes it's less; just 10 minutes at times. I figured I'd just keep trying to do her bedtime - it's a good way to bond/connect at the end of the day - unless I'm actively nursing. If I'm nursing, she'll either have to make do with daddy (a few more books, maybe?), or wait until the baby is done. I don't think this is too unreasonable for her. I'm sure there will be plenty of times when the baby is already asleep, or has just nursed, and I will be free and happy to spend bedtime with DD. I don't think we should have to have a flat-out cut-off of mommy bedtimes.

Obviously we'll have to play it by ear. :/ Who knows how she'll handle the new baby, or how high-needs the new one will be? Or maybe she won't mind me nursing while I sit with her and wait for sleep...?

[A-time-to-live]

No ideas but I could really use some ideas as well. My DD is 24 months and takes between 1-2.5 hours to fall asleep so we definitely need some kind of solution. I'm only 13 weeks so we have some time but it's also just difficult being the only one to lie with her every night for that long. And I have paperwork that I need to work on after she's asleep.

Right now DH is just lying next to the bed with us for at least part of the time - hoping to get her used to the idea of him being there.

[tracymom1]

I would start by having Daddy do all of the bedtime rituals with you right there. When DD seems to be used to this, start slowly limiting the time you spend in the room during bedtime. Eventually, I would think, she will be okay with just Daddy. This is what we did for DS before his sis arrived and it only took a few weeks and worked very well. Good luck!