Birds & Bees books for preschoolers - Page 3

[sunnygir1]

I think when a child is curious about body parts, we should help them learn as much as they want to about them -- be it the vulva or the foot.

But, I think the proper nomenclature debate is a little over the top.  If you go to the doctor and say "my vagina hurts", he or she is going to ask you a series of questions to find out exactly what you mean.  Same as if you go to the doctor and say "my stomach hurts" or "my chest hurts" or "my hand hurts".  Each of these is made up of many parts and elements that could be causing the pain.  I mean, really...it is useful to have a solid understanding of human anatomy, but I don't think it is such a huge issue that we must always and only use the appropriate scientific and specific term for each body part.

[Chamomile Girl]

Originally Posted by sunnygir1 

I think when a child is curious about body parts, we should help them learn as much as they want to about them -- be it the vulva or the foot.

But, I think the proper nomenclature debate is a little over the top.  If you go to the doctor and say "my vagina hurts", he or she is going to ask you a series of questions to find out exactly what you mean.  Same as if you go to the doctor and say "my stomach hurts" or "my chest hurts" or "my hand hurts".  Each of these is made up of many parts and elements that could be causing the pain.  I mean, really...it is useful to have a solid understanding of human anatomy, but I don't think it is such a huge issue that we must always and only use the appropriate scientific and specific term for each body part.

Yeah...that is rather akin to having to always refer to plants by their botanical names. Because that is what they are really called.

After all Chamomile is a common name that refers to lots of different plants and I might not know exactly what you are speaking of.  But feeling it necessary for you to pull Matricaria recutita out of your back pocket is pretty unreasonable.
 

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by sunnygir1 

But, I think the proper nomenclature debate is a little over the top.  If you go to the doctor and say "my vagina hurts", he or she is going to ask you a series of questions to find out exactly what you mean.  Same as if you go to the doctor and say "my stomach hurts" or "my chest hurts" or "my hand hurts".  Each of these is made up of many parts and elements that could be causing the pain.  I mean, really...it is useful to have a solid understanding of human anatomy, but I don't think it is such a huge issue that we must always and only use the appropriate scientific and specific term for each body part.

I don't see it as the same.

For me, it would be like going to the doctor and saying "My nipple hurts" and meaning my ribs.  Sure, they're both part of my chest, but saying a specific part implies that specific part.

If you say, "My vagina hurts" you shouldn't be talking about your outer labia. 

That said, why must so many midwives use the term "bottom" for your yoni.  Uhhh, hello confusion.

[sunnygir1]

Originally Posted by TiredX2 

I don't see it as the same.

For me, it would be like going to the doctor and saying "My nipple hurts" and meaning my ribs.  Sure, they're both part of my chest, but saying a specific part implies that specific part.

If you say, "My vagina hurts" you shouldn't be talking about your outer labia. 

That said, why must so many midwives use the term "bottom" for your yoni.  Uhhh, hello confusion.

Okay, so saying "my stomach hurts" when you mean some part of your abdomen that is not actually your stomach is exactly the same as saying "my vagina hurts" and meaning some part of your vulva.  Where I live, anyway, people totally use "vagina" to mean the entirety of the female genitalia, and use "stomach" to mean their belly, or the front part of their abdomen not covered by ribs.

When my midwives used the term "bottom" I took it to mean just that, my bottom.  When they held my "bottom" with a compress while I was pushing, it was my anus and perineum that was being held.  When I put herbal compresses on my "bottom" after birth, it was the whole area including genitals, anus, perineum.

[MamaofLiam]

I'm just going to throw this out there to the people who believe you need to refer to the specific part of your female genital anatomy w/ the correct anatomical name: how do you feel about the term formula? technically that term is not as accurate as artificial breast milk / breast milk substitute... 

"The Federal Food, Drug, and Cosmetic Act (FFDCA) defines infant formula as "a food which purports to be or is represented for special dietary use solely as a food for infants by reason of its simulation of human milk or its suitability as a complete or partial substitute for human milk".^[1]"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infant_formula

 

The thing is most people have agreed on what formula is, so I'm guessing you don't have a problem with it. Well, what I think other people are saying is that in general the term "vagina" has begun to refer to the entire female genital anatomical area - correct or not. I could think of a lot of times in the media when it's referred to this way (i.e., "Vagina Monologues" http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Vagina_Monologues). And the reality is that in the scenario where you are having an issue with your outer labia or some other area, the doctor is most likely going to have a look to see what you are talking about, in addition to asking you questions about it. I agree with you Sunnygirl. The term vagina has evolved into an all encompassing term for the female genitalia. It just has. 

 

I don't think there is anything wrong with knowing the correct terms, but I don't think you have to be so fixated on it that you give other people grief when they don't use the term you'd like.

[Llyra]

I do think that it is important, however, to spend time discussing the names of the various parts of their anatomy with young girls. If somebody, God forbid, were every to touch my girls inappropriately or against their will, I want them to 1. be able to describe precisely what was done to them, 2. be comfortable enough using the precise words, to be able to use them to a stranger like a doctor or a police officer, and 3. know that I am absolutely and totally comfortable talking about that part of the body, so that they will no hesitate out of ignorance or embarrassment, to tell me what has happened to them.

So I teach my girls vulva, and vagina, and groin, and clitoris, and urethra, and anus, and perineum. I make sure they know the real words, and that they know that I know the real words, and then in between times, we happily go around referring to our "girl bits," "nancies," and "secret stashes."

[philomom]

Originally Posted by Llyra 

I do think that it is important, however, to spend time discussing the names of the various parts of their anatomy with young girls. If somebody, God forbid, were every to touch my girls inappropriately or against their will, I want them to 1. be able to describe precisely what was done to them, 2. be comfortable enough using the precise words, to be able to use them to a stranger like a doctor or a police officer, and 3. know that I am absolutely and totally comfortable talking about that part of the body, so that they will no hesitate out of ignorance or embarrassment, to tell me what has happened to them.

So I teach my girls vulva, and vagina, and groin, and clitoris, and urethra, and anus, and perineum. I make sure they know the real words, and that they know that I know the real words, and then in between times, we happily go around referring to our "girl bits," "nancies," and "secret stashes."

Yes, I was once criticized on MDC for saying exactly this. They called it "fear based" parenting. Sigh.

[MamaofLiam]

     Quote:

Originally Posted by Llyra 

I do think that it is important, however, to spend time discussing the names of the various parts of their anatomy with young girls. If somebody, God forbid, were every to touch my girls inappropriately or against their will, I want them to 1. be able to describe precisely what was done to them, 2. be comfortable enough using the precise words, to be able to use them to a stranger like a doctor or a police officer, and 3. know that I am absolutely and totally comfortable talking about that part of the body, so that they will no hesitate out of ignorance or embarrassment, to tell me what has happened to them.

So I teach my girls vulva, and vagina, and groin, and clitoris, and urethra, and anus, and perineum. I make sure they know the real words, and that they know that I know the real words, and then in between times, we happily go around referring to our "girl bits," "nancies," and "secret stashes."

I completely agree. That is so important. I think it is so very important for your children to know that you are comfortable speaking about all parts of your body. Growing up I knew my parents (mother especially) were not comfortable talking about sex or any sexual anatomy, and that in turn made me uncomfortable talking about it with her. 

I like "nancies" - I never heard that one before! 

[katchie]

Originally Posted by MamitaM 

You know I think I'm just going to call mine my "power bundle" from now on

lol... yes!

[TwoMoons]

I just have to jump in with my story... We taught DD1, then 2, all the names of her parts, which we usually refer to as "girl parts" in day-to-day conversation.  But she knows about vagina, clitoris, labia, and also penis and testicles (which she used to call "choctacles;" it was hilarious.)  This mostly has been a non-issue; she knows about ears and toes and such too.  But when she was nearly 3 and DD2 had arrived, I present the following conversation, from the grocery store:

Elderly female cashier:  "So, sweetie, how do you like your baby sister?
Angelic curly-haired moppet:  "That's Eliza!  She came really fast, SURPRISE!  Right through mama's labia!"

  She's so funny.

Anyway, I haven't read everything on here, but I'm impressed with the positives, especially the early commenter who was so matter-of-fact as to tell her it was there because touching it feels good.  I'm not big on fighting over nomenclature, as I think communication being achieved is the big point, but I do think it is good for littles to have the right names for all the parts, and then they can gloss over if they want to. 

[philomom]

Originally Posted by TwoMoons 

Elderly female cashier:  "So, sweetie, how do you like your baby sister?
Angelic curly-haired moppet:  "That's Eliza!  She came really fast, SURPRISE!  Right through mama's labia!"

Excellent!

[lovingmommyhood]

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

Oh good lord are we all going to have this discussion again? People have called their girlie parts vaginas for a very long time. It is not some newfangled trend. It is not that big of a deal except for the fact that some of you find it annoying. Honestly, who made y'all the coochie police?

I call it a vagina and will continue to do so until the day I die thankyouverymuch. I'm ok with that.

THANK YOU. BRA-VO. 

[lovingmommyhood]

Originally Posted by MamitaM 

You know I think I'm just going to call mine my "power bundle" from now on

[GoBecGo]

Can't read all the threads, should be doing a million non-surfing tasks!

DD1 called this her "little willy" in the shower one day.  I said, very shocked "NO! That's your clitoris!" and she was like "hmm, looks like a teeny willy" and i said "nope, WAY better, boys have to pee and make babies and feel good with their willies but a clitoris is ONLY for feeling good" and she twiddled it a bit and said "yeah, better than a willy!" then promptly pee'd on my feet (a WHOLE other story!).  She still calls it a little willy or a baby penis sometimes though.  I just correct her and do a quick recap.

It seems stupid now, but i was more anxious that she understood the greatness of it than embarrassed to explain it at the time.

[MamaofLiam]

Originally Posted by GoBecGo 

Can't read all the threads, should be doing a million non-surfing tasks!

DD1 called this her "little willy" in the shower one day.  I said, very shocked "NO! That's your clitoris!" and she was like "hmm, looks like a teeny willy" and i said "nope, WAY better, boys have to pee and make babies and feel good with their willies but a clitoris is ONLY for feeling good" and she twiddled it a bit and said "yeah, better than a willy!" then promptly pee'd on my feet (a WHOLE other story!).  She still calls it a little willy or a baby penis sometimes though.  I just correct her and do a quick recap.

It seems stupid now, but i was more anxious that she understood the greatness of it than embarrassed to explain it at the time.

That is awesome! Lol I just love kids honesty. 
 

[Spencesmom]

My 3 yo son likes to explain to everyone that he has a penis and a scotum and that mommy and grandma have "bagina's"  - as long as I know that he is learning to love his body and that there is nothing wrong with nudity (he's naked all summer in our yard and would be naked all winter if we let him!) I'm happy and know that he will grow up with a sense of security in himself and know that there is nothing shameful about who he is inside or out!

[quedal]

God! I can not even descirbe how disappointing it is to come to the forums on mothering.com, a community for women to unite and support each other and see them argueing over the silliest thigns ALL THE TIME!! If a girl wants to call her vagina a vagina or a power bundle or whatever, it doesn't matter! Terms of endearment are great, and can good things even more special <3 If you're going to a responsible care provider, they will figure out what is wrong with you anyway...It's simple, you ask "inside or outside?" Problem solved. Some people really just know how to take all the enjoyment out of life. It is a shame.

[lovingmommyhood]

Originally Posted by Spencesmom 

My 3 yo son likes to explain to everyone that he has a penis and a scotum and that mommy and grandma have "bagina's"  - as long as I know that he is learning to love his body and that there is nothing wrong with nudity (he's naked all summer in our yard and would be naked all winter if we let him!) I'm happy and know that he will grow up with a sense of security in himself and know that there is nothing shameful about who he is inside or out!

My boys call it a "bagina" as well! My 4 year old DS said "DD has a....what is it again?" then I had to clarify but it still ends up being bagina. 

[quedal]

I can not even begin to describe how disenheartening it is to get on mothering.com, a community to unite and support women in their quest for a happy, healthy home, and see that they are all bickering over silly things like what to call your privates. Yoni, vagina, vulva, power bundle, blah blah blah. It is just a shame. If a responsible care provider needs more clarification as to what part of your crotch hurts, they're gonna figure it out, asking the same question I would at home "inside or outside babe?"  More power to us mamas who can talk openly, honestly, and candidly to our children about their bodies and their experiences with their bodies, without stressing them out with a vocab test.

[littlest birds]

Quedal, welcome to Mothering!

I respectfully disagree this discussion reflects badly on anyone or on mothering.com.  I think it is an interesting, informative argument.  I hope no one takes anything too hard in this thread, because I don't think anyone's being heavy about this.  Any reader can take what they wish from it.  Some may learn something they actually did not know, some may think over how they communicate and decide on something new, and others may not care since they already know their position on the subject.  Some may find it distasteful as well... 

I ran across an intelligent-seeming woman online who was a mother of two older children who did not know that urine and menstrual blood came out of different holes.  While I do accept that people use vagina to mean the vulva, I always do a double take when I hear it.  It surprises me.  I think first specifically of the vaginal canal, and have to deliberately translate to the person's generalized meaning.  I figure a lot of people never think about it, which is okay, but some of us do think about it.  We don't need too hard a time.  It doesn't really hurt to throw around the words accurately and make distinctions on the forum and maybe actually help a few people.  You never know.

I celebrate the openness and well-informed qualities of the moms here.  (and when a subject seems old or repetitive or unimportant to me, I just move along)