Being put on the medical tredmill, what are our rights in the UK?

[Odd Mama]

Hello, I don't know where to access this information.I am foreign and don't know my rights with the NHS. Perhaps someone can help me out.  I am a fat woman (happily content, active, and in harmony with my body).  I had a daughter a year and a half ago.  I had a perfect pregnancy.  Normal blood pressure. Ate well, and was back to my pre pregnancy weight within 6 weeks of delivering. The thing was, I was considered high risk because of my weight and had an enormous amount of extra appointments, scans, tests etc.  All normal.  All healthy.  I am pregnant again (woohoo) and am just exhausted thinking about the loops I am going to have to jump through for what feels like a very standard pregnancy.  I was just wondering if anyone knows what happens if you say you don't want to go to every extra appointment you are told to go to.  Does it lessen your care in the long run?  Don't get me wrong.  I want to make sure all is well with my LO.  I just want to scan every month, not every week, if all is well.  It made me paranoid.  They won't support home birth or any natural birthing method because of my weight. I just want to find the balance that is right for me.  This post is all over the place.  I would appreciate any help given.  Thank you.

[AutumnAir]

You are absolutely within your rights to refuse any and all procedures or appointments you don't want.  They may give you hassle about it, but they cannot force you to do anything you don't want to do, and they can't withdraw care from you for 'picking and choosing' either. 

They also have no right to with-hold a HB from you on *any* grounds - though again you may meet varying levels of resistance.  Check out this site www.homebirth.org  - it's full of stories of women who were told they couldn't have a HB for all sorts of reasons, but went ahead and had one anyway.

I refused the early 'dating' scan in my second pregnancy (because I had gone post-dates with my first and wanted to give myself a bit of wiggle room with the EDD - good thing I did too!).  They weren't happy with me, but they had to respect my decision - I got lectured by a consultant, but held firm.  I also held firm on having a HB too - despite going post-dates again (43+6 weeks by my dates, but only 42+6 by the dates I'd given them!) again with a fair amount of pressure to just go into hospital and induce, but I got my HB in the end :)

My advice: Find a local group supportive of natural birth/homebirth - they can be a great source of info and support.  Do you have an NCT branch in your area? That's probably a good place to start.  Have a look at the homebirth site above - even if you decide not to go for a HB it gives you some good info about the system and how to go about getting what you want. Look into hiring a doula - you might be able to find one in training that will take you on for cheap or free if you're strapped for cash.  Consider contacting the head midwife in your area about your situation.  Where I live the head midwife was actually very supportive of me and natural birth in general, but it was taking a while for his attitudes and policies to filter down - when I got him involved on my behalf the community midwives got off my case a bit, which was nice!

Good luck - hope you have a wonderful pregnancy and birth!

ETA - feel free to PM me if you like :)

[Odd Mama]

I can't thank you enough for the detailed and inspiring post you just gave me.  WIth my first child I felt really in control of my situation and knew what I wanted.  I am so tiered this time around, having a child already and just trying to absorb and celebrate being pregnant again, that I have felt at a loss.  Thank you again for your post.

[rubyhatespets]

If you don't want the fight and you have a spare couple of thousand (ha ha) then you could consider hiring an independent midwife; http://www.independentmidwives.org.uk/

Otherwise AutumnAir is right.  They have no right to refuse you.  See here for further details; http://www.aims.org.uk/  The NCT ( http://www.nct.org.uk/home ) are likely to be very supportive of your choices and it may well be worth joining for the social side too.