1 year old awake for hours each night; I am desperate for sleep

[Rhiannon09]

DD just turned 1.  For the last six months, she has woken in the middle of the night, anywhere from 1am to 4:30am, and won't go to sleep for hours.  Every night is a struggle. I have tried everything in the book: Pantley's methods, feeding her, soothing and snuggling her.  I have tried rocking her for hours; tried soothing her and have her fall asleep on my bed on the floor; in her crib; and in her inclined bed.  Sometimes she gets upset and cries and cries, sometimes she's totally happy and just wants to hang out in the dark with Mom for a few hours.  She cries whenever I put her in her bed awake.  We have tried having me sleep next to her crib and sleep out of the room; she does better with the latter, but she still wakes up most nights.

She almost never sleeps through the night, and when she wakes up, it for one to three hours.

The more sleep deprived I get, the slower I do my work, the later I have to stay up to get it done.  I'd say I'm averaging 4 hours of sleep a night, with 2 hours a night a couple times a week.  I am desperate for sleep.  I am suffering from PTSD after a medically and emotionally harrowing pregnancy and loss of DD's twin brother, and sleep deprivation is making it much more difficult to cope with.  DH can't help for complicated health reasons, and I don't have anyone else close who can help at night.  I've been sleep deprived for the last year, though it has been especially bad the last two months.  There have been times in the last month when I've approached psychosis, I am so sleep deprived.. 

I have never had DD cry it out, and I don't want to.  I don't know what could be wrong, and I don't know what else to try.  Suggestions, please, please, please.  I am losing my mind.  Literally.

[Rhiannon09]

I tried to edit the post, but it won't let me for some reason.  Just wanted to add that we've tried putting rice cereal in her milk, but that doesn't help either.  Have also tried co-sleeping, but she doesn't like it.  I've tried every form of bed and sleep situation I can think of short of putting her on the roof.  She still wakes up.

[Zangua]

Have you tried Valerian? You can get a child safe version called 'valerian super calm' by herbs for kids.

I tried this with DD (also a year) when she had a period of waking in the night to play and after 2 nights she was back to STTN. She still wakes to nurse once or twice, but she is asleep within a minute or two of waking.

[bobandjess99]

how much total sleep is she getting?  How is she making up for the deficit?  i found that when my kids were up all night long, then theyd sleep a lot during the day...BUT..even though i knew i should wake them and keep them up (which is miserable, cuz the kid is tired and OMG cranky evil)  i...couldn't make myself do it.  Because i was exhausted, and could use that time to do the things i needed to do, or to nap myself.  

Reduce daytime sleeping, even if it kills you.  

Eliminate possible medical causes ......silent reflux?  teething pain?  sensitivities/allergies to food, etc? 

[Rhiannon09]

Zangua, I will definitely check that out.  Thank you for the recommendation!

Bobandjess, she gets probably ten hours sleep per night, and doesn't nap well, 90 minutes at most each day.  So I can't really cut down on daytime sleeping.  But maybe I can get her up earlier each morning (right now she sleeps in till whenever she wants, and the longer she stays up, the later she sleeps in).  Maybe getting her up at a set time will help her to sleep through the night. 

There doesn't seem to be a medical cause.  I will try soy formula instead of milk-based, just to make sure, but I don't think there is a problem there. 

Any other suggestions, mamas?

[dovey]

Can you just sleep whenever she does?  When she goes back to sleep after her night waking can you just go back to sleep with her and sleep late in the morning?

[Peony]

Two of my kids have done this, and like you, I tried everything under the sun except CIO. The only thing that fixed it was time, they eventually outgrew it and just stopped being up for hours in the middle of the night. DS is 2 now and still has restless periods in the middle of the night for a while, but he is sleeping for the most part now!

[Rhiannon09]

Dovey:  Unfortunately, no, I can't sleep when she does--I have a job, so I need to sleep at night. 

Peony: Oh no, I can't do this for another year.  I can't do this for another month!  Do you remember at what age did your LOs stopped doing this? 

[lolar7]

My son just turned one yesterday, and we have been dealing with this for the last week. The last two nights he started screaming at exactly 3:30 am. I give him a bottle hoping it will comfort him back to sleep. He talks through it, like he's not really hungary, and just wiggles to get down. I don't want this to become a routine so I don't let him down. I've sat with him in the dark for an hour, went to lay him down, and screaming bloody murder resumes. I feel you pain and lack of sleep...even though this is more recent for me. I'm going to try shortening his afternoon nap and see how that goes. He is baby who has always required a ton of sleep, maybe needs are changing. All the best mama!!!

[Twinklefae]

Is her bed in your room?  If so, at a year I wouldn't feel badly about letting her know you are there, and then laying back in your bed while she is in hers.  Similarly, if she is in her own room, I would stick an air mattress on the floor and sleep there.  She doesn't need to be waking in the middle of the night to play.  Making it fun is going to encourage it to keep happening.  It's normal for a child approaching a new milestone to wake for a week or two, but you say this has been going on for months.  I would assume that it's a habit now. 

[sosurreal09]

I would not try soy formula. How do you feel about raw goats milk? If that doesn't seem good I would just leave her on whatever she is drinking.

DD started doing that around 10 m/o on and off until 18 m/o so i can't give you any real advice except that it is a phase. I know she is young but maybe she is ready to quit the nap? or she may just be so overtired she can't stay asleep....it is kind of a tough call with some kids.

Originally Posted by Rhiannon09 

Zangua, I will definitely check that out.  Thank you for the recommendation!

Bobandjess, she gets probably ten hours sleep per night, and doesn't nap well, 90 minutes at most each day.  So I can't really cut down on daytime sleeping.  But maybe I can get her up earlier each morning (right now she sleeps in till whenever she wants, and the longer she stays up, the later she sleeps in).  Maybe getting her up at a set time will help her to sleep through the night. 

There doesn't seem to be a medical cause.  I will try soy formula instead of milk-based, just to make sure, but I don't think there is a problem there. 

Any other suggestions, mamas?

[Samm1]

Hi Rhianna,

My daughter just turned one and I have been going through the same thing for almost the entire period.  I am dying of sleep. I cry all the time.  The doctors think that she is fine but this lack of sleep is crazy for both of us. Did the baby eventually get pass that phase where she wasn't sleeping much? 

[tvaughn111]

I am having the same issue....it's going on 3 weeks now. My daughter goes to sleep at 9pm and wakes up at about 1am and stays up til about 3-4am then sleeps in until about 8:30am-9am. Only twice have I given my daughter a bottle. I've tried to let her 'cry it out' for an hour...I've tried staying up and playing with her and other times just laying with her. I've made the mistake of bringing her to our bed, she seems to prefer sleeping with us. She's tired when she wakes up, I change her diaper and then I try putting her back in her crib and she doesn't want to so she starts to cry. Rhiannon09 what were you able to do within the last year???