Does this seem like bad advice to you (re restricting weight gain)

[scottishmommy]

I understand that obesity is a huge problem in the US and that many Americans have really unhealthy eating habits. I am NOT one of those Americans. I'm a vegetarian and a bean stew and kale kinda girl. At 5'6", I've never weighed more than 115 lbs except while pregnant. I actually don't know how much I gained with my first pregnancy, because I started to turn around on the scale, but I think it was at least 45 lbs. I gave birth to a very healthy 8 lbs 11 oz baby girl. I was in labor for 5 hours and pushed for 15 minutes. I was 120 lbs at my 6 week postpartum visit. I lost the rest of the weight through the next two years and ended up weighing about 105-110 lbs give or take.
I was 108 lbs when I got pregnant with this baby. I was also nursing my toddler. I had to eat every two hours or else I would get extremely nauseous and throw up. I gained a lot of weight during the first trimester ( about 18 lbs). I honestly believe that my body needed a little extra fat, what with the nursing and pregnancy. Since then, I have been gaining a normal 1 lb a week.
Yesterday I had my 18 week appointment and the midwife told me to only gain another 10 lbs for my entire pregnancy. I told her that I gained a lot of weight with my DD and that I don't think it's possible for me to restrict my weight gain that much. Then she asked if I had lost all the weight from my previous pregnancy successfully. Well, duh, I only weighed 108 lbs when I got pregnant this time, so obviously I didn't have any trouble losing the weight. The she says that the reason my first baby was big was because of my weight gain during the last pregnancy, and that I have control over how much this baby will weigh and that I need to seriously slow down my weight gain.
I'm totally flabbergasted. How on earth am I supposed to only gain 10 more lbs? I seriously feel like crying. I'm worried that if I restrict my weight gain that my baby will be too small. But I'm also worried that if I have a big baby and there's a complication during delivery, it'll be all my fault for being such a pig! I just want to enjoy pregnancy and not have to restrict calories. Does this seem like crazy advice to you? What should I do?

[motherhendoula]

I only have one quick comment to make - at first i read your post - assuming this was typical 30 lbs or so overweight woman made to feel as if she weighs 300 lbs....(I DID weigh 300 lbs  with my last baby!)   BUT, because you mention you are vegan...i have heard...and NOt through any sort of verifiable sources mind you.....but i have heard that vegan women who tend to overeat simple carbs during pregnancy can sometimes have 10'lb  babies...i have no idea if this is true...and of course - who can know if 10'lbs would be a problem or not.  I cannot imagine a sighted person telling you to only gain 10 more lbs.....i am also 5'6"...i have never weighed less than 146.    But i thought i would bring it up because you did mention being vegan- if that is something she has seen in her practice - you might want to ask her more specifics.....i weighed 235 when i got pregnant this last time....and no one asked me to slow down my weight gain...of course, maybe they were afraid i would eat them.....

ask your midwife for more specifics here.....there has to be more to this!

[scottishmommy]

I probably am over doing it with the starches. I think if I cut out all starchy food and any sugars I may be able to slow the weight gain down. Ugh. This stuff makes me crazy!

[erigeron]

I think if you eat healthily and listen to your body, your body will gain the amount of weight it is meant to gain. I don't see how 8 lb 11 oz is such a big baby, and clearly you didn't have any problems birthing her. Pregnancy isn't one-size-fits-all.

This is my first... I gained more weight in the first trimester than I was "supposed to", and got hassled by an unfeeling NP for it. But I maintain that I ate what I needed to eat, because I was SO HUNGRY! Maybe I'll change my mind if my daughter comes out weighing 10 lbs, but she was measuring at the 49th percentile for gestational age at the anatomy scan so that doesn't seem too likely. And my mom started pregnancy as a skinny thing, gained 50 lbs with me and all was fine with both of us.

I just think rumors of the dangers of an extra 10 lbs in pregnancy are greatly exaggerated... everyone's different.

[motherhendoula]

Well no one needs the starch and sugars - especially while pregnant...but i cant imagine why in a vegan woman, overdoing it on that stuff could result in a LARGE baby..whereas with a person like myself....(and my baby was 8'8" - pretty decent i must say)   my diet was never brought up as a possible factor for having a big baby...it doesnt make sense. 

[motherhendoula]

I also meant to add...i doubt there is ONE pregnant woman out there who can say NO to starches and sugars  especially in the first trimester!

I think OP needs to hear from vegan moms on this topic!

[KempsMama]

I doubt the correlation between your weight gain controling the size of the baby.  With my oldest, I LOST thirty pounds while I was pregnant, and he was 9 lbs.  With my youngest, I lost two pounds, and he was 9 lbs.  I make 9 lb babies. 

[cinderella08]

Your midwife is giving you very false information, potentially dangerous to your unborn child.  Average, healthy weight gain is 25-45lbs total.  1-1.5lbs per week.

[Peony]

I am a very similar height and weight to you, I am not vegan but do need to eat very frequently because I tend to get the same symptoms you described. My body likes to gain weight while pg. This is my 4th and every single time I gain more despite not really changing my eating habits. I lose it afterwards. I also gained around 18 lbs in my first tri. And then about a lb a week since, I'm 25 weeks now. I will continue to gain at least a lb a week, that is just what my body does. *Maybe* I could live off of greens only, feel like I am staving and minimize the weight gain, but I'm not eating McD's and ice cream all day either.  My last baby was 8.12, decent size, and I'm sure this one won't be a tiny little thing! DS was about max for my body, BUT only because he was 8.12 but only 18 inches long with shoulders like a linebacker so if this one is another 8lber but not so short and fat and not posterior to boot, I'd be good. 

If someone told me what they told you, I'd have to say that it would go in one ear and out the other....

[Sharlla]

Girl I gained soooo much with all of mine.  I was 290 with ds1 and DD and 225 with Ds2. 

[proud2bemommy]

i think your midwife is crazy i went from 127 to 175 my first pregnancy and i lost it all i am down to 130 and just now begining my 2nd pregnancy i actually ate less while pregnant the first time cuz i just wasnt hungry and when i was two bites made me feel stuffed so seriously hun do what you feel you need to

[Chloe'sMama]

That does seem a little crazy to me.  My midwife told me to gain at LEAST 27 lbs and I am quite a bit heavier than you.  I was vegetarian when pregnant with DD1 and gained 45 lbs and she was 10lbs 5 oz.  I gained 23 lbs with DD2 (I was eating meat this pregnancy) and she was 9 lbs, 12 oz.... so, gaining much less didn't do much with the size of the baby.

Make wise eating choices and listen to your body.... you may want to find another midwife too.  Seems crazy to limit gain in someone who is so tiny....

By the way, I am 5'6" and started pregnancy 1 at 155 and pregnancy 2 at 140..... so your BMI is much lower than mine and seems like you would need to gain a little more to support your babe.  

Sorry you are dealing with this.

[scottishmommy]

Thank you all for your support. This midwife group is supposed to be one of the best around, but they sort of seem like OBGYNS who let you have a natural birth. Every appointment I see a different midwife, which is annoying because they don't really know anything about you. Sigh. I really just want a home birth, but DH is totally against it.
I was thinking about calling them today just to clarify. Or would that be overly obsessive?

[Jaimee]

Originally Posted by motherhendoula 

... because you mention you are vegan...i have heard...and NOt through any sort of verifiable sources mind you.....but i have heard that vegan women who tend to overeat simple carbs during pregnancy can sometimes have 10'lb  babies...i have no idea if this is true...and of course - who can know if 10'lbs would be a problem or not. 

I've been a vegetarian for 13 years and gone through 2 pregnancies- now I'm on my third. My mw's have always been concerned as well, but for the opposite reason- I don't gain "enough" weight.  So, I think on either side of the issue there is misinformation about vegetarianism as well as what is "proper" weight gain during pregnancy.  Certainly there are vegetarians that don't eat well- substituting carbs for protein or vegetables.  But most of us that have been veg for a long time are quite educated on how to eat a healthy diet.  Not to mention that it's hard to be super healthy during the first tri anyway when a lot of times high protein foods and leafy greens sound repulsive.  And everyone grows babies differently!  I think a lot of health practitioners just go by averages and fear anything that falls below or rises above those numbers- thinking complications.  But the reality is, you have a pattern when you're pregnant, as do all women, and if you are following your typical pattern that had positive results at the end, I say there is nothing to worry about at all.

Now all that being said, I know how hard it is to hear news like this and to continually get bombarded by negative comments at every prenatal check up.  It's not the easiest thing to stand up to your mw and say you trust your body and she needs to back off.  Especially if you might be forced to get growth sonos and have to deal with the possibility of getting risked out of her care if you're uncooperative.  So, my advice to you would be to suggest a food diary.  I know, I know... it's very annoying, but if you keep track of your diet between prenatal visits, writing down everything you eat and drink she will be able to see how healthy you are.  I would suggest adding up the grams of protein and perhaps the grams of fat for each day so that she can quickly reference those numbers.  Doing this MAY also alert you to anything that MIGHT be beneficial to change in your diet.

Good luck and sending positive thoughts your way! 

[amaayeh]

It sounds to me as though your body needed the weight to support the pregnancy and the nursing.  That is a lot of extra calories needed.  I would do as others have suggested and eat healthy.  Then, don't worry about it!  I wouldn't call back, I would just do what you think is right.  If you gain more, so be it.  If you don't, great, too.  I'm 5'5" and went from 127 to 175 my first pregnancy and my baby weighed 7lbs 12oz.   With my second I went from 130 to 154 and she weighed 8lbs 7oz.  So far with this one I'm at 20 lbs gained and I'm 32 weeks.  I've been trying really, really hard not to gain as much, though, because I started out around 137.  I'm vegetarian, too.  I found that if I will drink water instead of any other drinks (juices, lemonade, etc.), I gain less.  That makes a big difference with me, and obviously I don't *need* them. 

[diana_of_the_dunes]

I think the PPs are right on: your body will gain what it needs to in order to support the pregnancy.  With my first, I weighed about 145 at the start and had 16% body fat (average woman is 25-31%). But because I had so little body fat (my hypothesis), I gained quite a bit of weight.  I gained between 45 and 50 lbs throughout the pregnancy and grew some fat reserves.  My mom, and pretty much everyone but my midwife, made comments about me gaining too much weight.  As if I could do something about it!  I ate healthy meals, except during the first trimester when the idea of veggies grossed me out.  But by 4 months PP, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight.  By 6 months PP, I could fit into all my old clothes.

FWIW, I had a 9 lb 7 oz baby.  DH's family has a history of big babies, so I believe it was genetics.  My cousin only gained 20 lbs, and she had 8.5 lb babies.  My best friend gained 50 lbs and had 7.5 lb babies.  They're all different.  As long as you're eating healthily, don't worry about it!

[Greenlea]

I am also a vegetarian, I have had two babies.  With my first I gained almost 50 pounds and had a 8lbs3oz baby.  I lost 30 of those pounds before getting pregnant again.  With my 2nd pregnancy I was not nursing and gained only 30 pounds, and my baby was 9lbs2oz!  So hmmmm, I gained less with my 2nd but had a bigger baby.  I don't think weight gain has much to do with the size of the baby.  I have heard that sugars can make a bigger baby, so if you want, stay away from those.  However, your 8lb11oz baby seems normal and healthy, so I really wouldn't worry about it!  Keep eating mama - especially if you are still nursing!

[zuleicamoon]

I have gained right around 40lbs with all 3 of my pregnancies, having started all of them at the same weight give or take a pound.  There is a pound and a half difference between my smallest and largest babies.  So yes, I do think that sounds like bad advice.  Eat what you need to feel satisfied.

[Monkey Keeper]

DD2 was 9lbs, 8oz and DS was 9lb, 5oz born at 41w0d and 41w2d. I started off their pregnancies within 3lbs of the same weight. However, with DD2, I gained nearly 50lbs while with DS I gained less than 30lbs. So for me, weight gain had little to do with baby size.  

[Katie8681]

Scottishmommy, your prepregnant BMI was 17.6!!!  That is solidly underweight, and so you ideally will gain up to 40lbs in pregnancy, according to current guidelines (and I seriously doubt an "extra" 5-10 would kill you).  I don't understand your midwife's logic at all.