NO TV (and I need help to keep it up!)

[~NewMa~]

So it's been about 3 weeks now with NO TV for the kids.

My daughter is about 15 months and my son just turned 3.

They never really watched much to begin with but it started to become something my son was asking for on a daily basis.

When he was watching, he was totally engrossed, and when he was not watching it he was either talking about a character from a show or acting like one. Not only was this getting annoying, but I was becoming concerned. So we switched off. And it's been hard! :( I really have a hard time keeping my head above water most days. The tv was on so that I could prepare meals with few interuptions, or return my few emails real quick in the morning and now with it off, I CAN'T FIND ENOUGH TO DO TO ENTERTAIN THEM!

My son is always coming to me and whining "play with me". There are only so many books we can read in a day and I might have to get a job just to keep up with craft supplies for all the lovely ideas I'm finding online for craft ideas.

Any advice, suggestions, tips would be kindly appreciated!

Thank you!!! :)

[doubledutch]

what about having him do more with you (the things you need to get done, like dinner, cleaning, etc)?  sometimes it's nice to be able to just knock out a job quickly, it definitely takes longer with "help" but it's a good foundation for him learning how to contribute and it really boosts their confidence to be able to pitch in.  plus, you know . . . it's something for him to do. :)

what else does he like to do?

how often do you have friends over?  do you know another family that would want to do drop-off playdates, taking turns with their child at your house, and with him visiting their house without you?

does he have any interests that he could take a class on, and then have that time slot focused on that activity at home the rest of the days of the week?  for example, if you put him in gymnastics once a week at 2pm, then the rest of the week, every day at 2pm you can throw a yoga mat down on the floor so he can practice his moves.

the problem with all the cute crafts you're finding online, aside from the expense, is that you have to be completely involved.  what about just regular old art supplies?  you can find most of that at the thrift store (sometimes even paper), make salt dough that he can then play with on his own, and keep your paper costs down by encouraging him to draw on a wipe-able, reusable surface like a chalk board, marker board, or even using something like an etch-a-sketch if you already have one.  my kids also make a ton of stuff with recyclables (like the cereal box).

some other things we like are puzzles, play kitchen, playmobil, matchbox cars, dress up . . . if my boys are having a hard time either with boredness or getting too wild and rough with each other, i will sit them at the table, pull out an activity and say, "we're doing this now."  set the timer for 10, 20 or 30 minutes depending on what it is, then have clean up time and pull out the next one, repeat . . . it works!  sometimes i have to get them started on it but within a few minutes i can walk away.  if i pull out art supplies, i'll often request something specific, like make a card for grandma, draw a picture of our house/family, etc, and from there they will keep coming up with their own ideas.

i think no tv is an awesome goal, and you can totally do it.  however you can also change your mind if you decide it's not working out that well.  if you decide that you need, like 30 minutes a day of sanity . . . that's okay.  since he talks a lot about the shows and likes to play the characters, just choose carefully, something that you don't mind him imitating, like little bear or caillou.  i hope this paragraph doesn't seem unsupportive - i can remove it if you want the thread to be 100% tv free! 

[Tjej]

Part of it is the kids finding ways to entertain themselves.  It's baby steps, but can you set your son up with something and let him run with it (while you do your thing)?  You can't and shouldn't be his playmate all day long every day.  A few good play sessions together during the day and he can play by himself or with his sister otherwise.  It will work out and it's worth it (says the woman who hasn't banished TV but who has it on for the kids about once a week or so).

Tjej

[tbone_kneegrabber]

I know for me its a lot easier to be TV free when we aren't at home or inside.  I try to find times when we can go somewhere or at least outside.  We are lucky to have a small backyard that I can see from the kitchen.  We are now comfortable with our 3.5 year old being out in the yard alone when we can see him through the window.  (although he would prefer we were out there too) and that often helps when I want to cook and can't have him help (like actually cooking on the stove).

We have this vegetable chopper that really helps ds help cook.  I know a chopper is such a weird "tv free" suggestion, but when I use it then ds can help make dinner/lunch and is totally stoked to be involved with cooking.

also excepting that it means things will get messy (both with cooking and playing).  Giving ds a ball of yarn and letting him make intricate spider webs (by wrapping yarn around everything in the living room) can give me a good 1/2 hour to 45 mins to do something else.  Granted it takes about that long to clean it up later, but hey!

ds loves gluing thing to other things.  so we get cardboard out of the recycling and let him cut up catalogs and magazines and use old buttons and stuff and he glues and cuts and makes "projects"

[Mittsy]

Can he help you cook? Can your partner watch him while you cook/get some down time? What about playdates?

[meemee]

mama hang in there. i think 3 to 4 weeks is about the time the kids need to acclimatise from watching tv and now find something to do.

however let me tell you 3 is also the age of 'addicted' behaviour. they do 'a lot', really focused. which is good and bad. good if he gets into puzzles. bad if tv. keeping that in mind give him creative things to do.

some things that i remember dd enjoying were

- boxes of all sizes. 

- a small empty bookshelf and blocks. seh turned that into a house, her other friends into a store.

- a bunch of one thing. coloured paperclips. rubberbands. that was for us. maybe you can get those little bears or rhinocerous u get a hundred of in a bottle.

- what you want is a sensory and open ended experience. so look for things in your household. even cans of food. if you have things like - a tonne of partylite candles that i had. 

- and of course chores - fold clothes (the point here is not that he can do it, but that he is so proud he can do adult things), sweep/swab the floors, cook in the kitchen (YOU will take some time to get used to this and feel it makes too much work for you, so give yourself that break). 

in conclusion i will say this much. i did not curb dd's tv watching habit that time. in fact for a month i was taking care of a family emergency. lots of legal things to do. dd spent a lot of time in front of the tv at 3 1/2. just like the chocolate cake she got tved out. today at almost 9 she sometimes watches tv/video games. most of the time she is upto something. tv is boring for her. however tv has also inspired her to do a lot of things. and tv itself has given her ideas for projects to do so she is not watching tv. actually by tv i mean her shows on the internet. :)

[JudiAU]

We are media-free and always have been so we don't have a transition to consider. The longer they are tv-free they easier playing by themselves will be. And yes, the kids do like to play with me, and I like to play with me but my older son is wildly creative on his own and has been since 2.5

. I find a routine helps a lot as does outdoors time. We live in an urban apartment and the kids go to the park ever single day. If you don't live near parks make sure that your house/outdoor space is appealing with water/sand/riding toys/bubble/chalk. Make sure you have a good cache of art supplies include some goodies in a "Secret Closet of Mystery." The kids love it when I get something new. Free yourself that art needs to be a big project or mom-driven or a specific project. My kids are really drawn to the art table if I clean it up/set it up before they wake up. New fresh paper and colored pencils or play dough or watercolor set up or whatever. Have a few good independent play toys like duplos etc. Stage a pretend play set up for them after nap. Integrate them into chores for real or pretend.

[reillys_mom]

It's takes a while for kids to learn how to play and fill the time on their own. TV has such powerful imagery that can dominate their imagination and play. My boys have spent a lot of time either pretend cooking while we cooked or actually helping. DS1 was 18 mo when he started cutting with a butter knife, maybe one piece the entire time, then by the time he was 4 he essentially made an entire dinner of chili for us. I also used special playtime when I had to get things done, ie I don't like playdoh so it's not around a lot but if I really needed to cook I'd bring out the play doh or coloring so they were right in the kitchen with me, but occupied.

Hang in there. It is worth it.

[zinemama]

Your kids are at the perfect age to learn to entertain themselves, and they will. Just don't do it for them. You don't have to come up with stuff for them to do. You can involve them in what you are doing - cooking (they stand next to you at the counter on chairs and "help"), folding laundry (have them find all the underwear - or whatever)...you get the idea.

But finding craft ideas on the internet? Unless that's really your cup of tea, I'd put the kibosh on that. I'm assuming your kids have things to play with - duplos, blocks, trains, etc. Believe me, if you leave them alone to play with those things without your input, they will do just that.

[SweetSilver]

A 3yo will in time forget that he ever watched TV, if you stick with it long enough.  

     We are not TV free (one video from library, and first thing in the morning only, which gives dad and I time to do things and get one of us out the door.)  So, the rest of our day, no argument, no TV.  

     Our 4yo wants to follow me and be with me always.  Sometimes I go with her, but some times its non-negotiable (dinnertime) and I tell her if she wants my company, she has to come to me.  She'll play on the kitchen floor or chop veggies with a dinner knife.  My husband is better about doing things like setting up forts/lairs/burrows that the girls play in.  

     When my two girls were the age of yours, there also was not as much time playing together, so that will resolve itself soon. The real struggle in our house was actually getting DH to agree to turning off the TV at newstime (now we don't have satellite and get no reception, so not an issue.)  Now, we get NPR/radio in the kitchen while we take turns doing work.  He was a TV zombie and would watch stupid things and flipping channels and watching nothing at all but not turning it off which drives me NUTS because I can't tune out noise the way he can.  So some folks are wired to react to TV the way your son does.

     None of our friends have the TV turned on during the day so we don't have issues with other kids, except perhaps at Christmas at my sister's, but that's once a year.  So we don't have to deal with changing back to no TV on a regular basis.  Except on sick days.  Mommy (or Daddy) gets to call an "extra video day", mainly when one or more of us is couchbound and there's only so much reading we can do (especially when it's ME who sick).  "Coming down" from an extra video day takes a couple of days, but the girls are better at it now than they were younger.

     I think media-free is a wonderful choice, and for some kids (or dads!) is absolutely essential.  Even if your son didn't watch TV, if the TV is on, it has been found that kids cannot focus on their own games the way they should.  By the way, after the girls are asleep, DH and I watch movies and TV shows we check out from the library, and some nights we can actually make it through one movie!  I would probably get more creative if the TV weren't turning on the tube, but with kids so young, I am wiped out.  It's nice we have something we can focus on together.

[pianojazzgirl]

We are TV-free after pulling the plug last October.  The other mamas have given lots of great advice, but I thought I'd add one other consideration: do you still have the TV in plain sight?  When we went TV free I put the TV in a different (less used) room AND covered it with a blanket.  We are lucky that we have our TV on a TV stand with wheels and it is easy enough for us to roll it around the corner to the livingroom if dh and I want to watch a movie at night.  BUT on the days when we forget to wheel it back into "hiding" the kids notice it and remember "oh yeah, that's that thing we used to like to stare at" and the kid show demands start up anew.

Regarding the inability to play independently... when I decided to go TV-free I also decided to invest in some new (or new to us, lol) and exciting toys, craft supplies and games.  I knew it would be a bit of a difficult transition (esp for ds), and so I wanted to give myself every advantage!  We are not big "buyers" here, and the kids rarely get anything new (except at b-days and Christmas) so having some new stuff around made a big impact.  I also resigned myself to the fact that for a while I was going to have to be REALLY hands-on, but with the faith that it would pay off in the end.... and it has!  After a few weeks the kids' imaginations had bloomed and even my 3yo was able to play by himself for hours on end (the toy of choice was Playmobil by the way... just throwing that out there in case you want to give it a try!).