Originally Posted by mama_y_sol
It's nice to read the issues on this thread. Makes me feel more normal! My mom does a lot of the things mentioned here too. OP, reading your post, I can totally see myself feeling the same way as you. And while I might not be able to explain why I feel that way, I probably would beat myself up about feeling like that ("why can't I just love her for who she is? why am i so mean to her? why can't i just give her a break?"). I am constantly torn with feeling the way I am feeling and then feeling guilty for feeling that way. I have tried to confront my mom too about boundaries several times, and oh the water works for weeks! and nothing changes. She is coming for 5 weeks in June/July and just today I was struggling with it.
I think these things, too. And then she visits, does her usual behavior and validates for me exactly why I am so annoyed in the first place. I am TOTALLY struggling with all of the family calling DH and telling him when THEY PLAN to visit us in June when this next baby comes. I mean...WHAT?!?
His family literally is calling us and giving us the dates of their visits. By the way, DH's parents are divorced, so I have TWO sets of crazy ILs.
(All of our parents are divorced, and so there are EIGHT grandparents total. Sigh.)
Dh's sister has announced a visit this weekend, AND that she is bringing a friend. (A friend I sort of know (met once and liked) but...still.) DH told them that our "rule" is that one person can stay here, but if two or more people visit, they need to stay at a hotel because our place is too small, DD is a light sleeper, etc. Of course, DH's sister said they "can't" stay at a hotel, and really pushed to stay here.
It's going to be *so fun*. P.S. his sister is *extremely* mainstream and rolls her eyes at almost everything we do. And she calls my MIL to "report" news that happens here, and give her the daily scoop.
MIL is already planning her June visit for this next baby.
I told her with DD...light makeup only, preferably NO makeup, perfume, etc. She comes out the first morning smelling like a perfume counter and wearing (I kid you NOT)...dark red lipstick!! (She must think women in their 60s look younger with a face full of makeup?) She tells me "don't worry, it's permanent lipstick"...and later I see a dark red magenta smudge on DD's head...oh yeah, it was permanent alright! And a PAIN to scrub off a newborn's head!!!
Funny thing, DD's "baby acne" started just when MIL arrived and faded about a day or two after she left. Hmm...