abilify is not for people under 18. that is what the commercials say, and what all the drug information says. it is a serious drug, with some huge side effects. any doctor who is recommending it for a child is not a good doctor and you should seriously think about switching doctors.
have you tried behavioral therapy, nutrition changes, and natural supplements for the anger issues? i would try every other possible thing before thinking about medication for a child that young. it sounds like you're in a hard situation, and i wish you the best.