Will my 2 yr old ever fall asleep alone? And do I need to drop her nap?

[Vegan Princess]

My DD is 2 yrs and 3 months. Currently, she won't go to sleep alone (she never really has). We recently put her in a twin bed and my husband has to lay down with her until she is asleep. While she was in her crib, we held her hand until she fell asleep. She never sleeps through the night and is usually in our bed by about midnight or 1. I am less concerned with the sleeping through the night. She has enlarged adenoids and trouble breathing so I think that makes her a restless sleeper. She is having her adenoids removed in 2 weeks, so hopefully that will help. 

Lately the going to bed thing has gotten horrible. If she naps, DH can be stuck up there for 1-2 hours trying to get her to sleep and she won't go down until around 10. She is tired and asks to take a nap so I am unsure about dropping it - nevermind me not wanting to give that up just yet. If she skips a nap, she is often ok and falls asleep easier at night. I am pregnant now and really loving being able to nap with her.

So I am wondering if the nap needs to go and, more importantly, how can we get her to go to sleep on her own? The taking a while to fall asleep woulnd't be such a big deal if we weren't trapped in there all evening. DH and I have zero time together these days! We have no idea what to do though. 

Cindy

[savyjoel]

This sounds like my 2yr 4mo old son.  He has never gone to sleep on his own, I nurse him.  He wakes around 6:30/7am, naps about 12/12:30 to about 2pm then I nurse him for bed any where from 8-9pm.  I would prefer 8pm but sometimes it's later.  For a while now the night nursing does not always get him to sleep and I'm there with him for an hour or more until he falls asleep.  It is very frustrating and I often get DH to come hold him for a while so I can get other things done. 

    I'll be watchin this post.  Maybe someone will offer some advice that both of us can use.

[APToddlerMama]

DS is three now and still doesn't fall asleep on his own, though, to be fair, we haven't tried.  Shortly before he turned two, we dropped the nap.  We were just sick and tired of the WWF wrestling (ie. snuggling...) match every night that would last 2 or 3 hours.  Literally bedtime was around 11-12 at night and then he'd only sleep 7-8 hours even if he napped only from like 130-230.  Anyhow, we dropped the nap and it worked wonders.  I really hestitated because clearly he was absolutely exhausted by 4pm and it was hard to keep him up some days.  Overall though, it improved the length and quality of his nighttime sleep dramatically and he ended up sleeping more hours overall than with the nap.  The nap recharged him enough even if it was just an hour, to cut 2 or three hours out of his overall sleep.  DH and I get more time together now.  Also, bedtime became a non-issue.  Now he falls asleep fast and without any fighting so we just lay down and actually snuggle instead of wrestle for 10 minutes and he is out.  I would give dropping the nap a try.  The trade off was worth it for us.  It took a good two weeks to get past him being totally exhausted, but after that it wasn't so bad.  I hear you on the pregnancy...I am also pregnant and dying for a nap, but know we'll all sleep better at night without it.  Good luck!

[Peony]

I stopped putting DD2 down for a nap at that same age because of that exact issue, taking forever to fall asleep at night. She started falling asleep very quickly and going to bed earlier. DS just turned 2 and I know his napping days are numbered because he is following in her footsteps. 

The falling asleep alone thing, I just wait it out, and someday they are fine. Not at a young age, DD2 is 4.5 now and we still have to lay with her. If you wanted to work on it then it would be laying on the other side of bed, sitting in a chair in the room, moving farther away an then eventually out of the room. I'm too lazy/tired for that!