The toddler impression of breastfeeding..

[anjsmama]

SO lost on what to do with/say to my DS. He is 32 mo and my DD is 3 mo. I was not much of an AP when he was a baby. I did breastfeed him, but he was not a breastfed child (we stopped BFing at 4 mo when I lost my supply due to serious lack of knowledge). I did not learn much/lean much toward AP or NP until  I was TTC DD (a little over a year ago). It has been good for my DS (I think) because it has created an extremely honest relationship between us and it really helped him understand my pregnancy and the addition of DD to the family. He adores her and is everything I could hope a little guy to be as a big brother.

We had about a million conversations about pregnancy and babies when I was expecting DD. However, it never occurred to me (?  ) to discuss breastfeeding with him before she arrived! SO the first few weeks he really struggled with nursing time and was not a happy camper. But now that he's gotten over the frustration (and typically just cuddles up with us while I nurse her), he's got a million questions and ideas! He wants to know why he can't see the milk. He wants to know why she drinks milk but doesn't eat anything. He wants to know why she drinks milk from mom, and he drinks milk from a cup. He has asked a few times (especially before naps?) to "drink mom's milk". If I've left the pump on the table, he will pick it up and lift his shirt and try to pump! He tries to feed his dolls. I have tried to just be straightforward and honest... "Only girls like Mom make milk. You are a boy like Daddy and boys don't have milk. " "Babies drink milk from their moms to grow strong and healthy.." "The milk is inside my body, like bones and blood, you can't see it." Etc etc etc etc etc....

He doesn't seem particularly upset about it, he just can't seem to understand it all. Is he too young to really get it? I guess I expected comprehension because he really did well understanding pregnancy. Is there something I can do or say to make it less confusing for him? What should I do or say when HE is asking to nurse? 

P.S. Is there anyone else that is new or was new to the world of AP when your kids were little? My parents & ILs seem to be giving me that jaw-dropped look all the time, and I'd say their two biggest protests are ECing with DD and being open with DS while breastfeeding (they literally think I should cover up! breastfeeding! at home! with just my kids!)?!?!  I don't really care what they think (at least, not in any way that would ever influence what I do), but I'm also sort of at a loss for what to say. They're wonderful people and I don't want to be rude? But I also can't help but feel like putting them in their place with a little education (though of course I never do). 

Help??

[WantRice]

Here's a Sesame Street video about nursing animals (including humans) that he might like. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a9Xqu_c9Yo

[sunnygir1]

It sounds like you are doing great.

My dd was 2.5 when ds was born, and had only weaned 4 months earlier.  I think reading books about what to expect helped -- she still likes to read the Dr. Sears book about expecting a new baby, which talks about breastfeeding.  Maybe you could find it and/or some other children's books that mention/show breastfeeding at the library.

My dd is 4 and ds is 19 months, and she still asks to nurse sometimes.  I alternate between kind of brushing it off, "oh, you do? well, the milk is for your little brother now." and offering to let her nurse.  I am always prepared to follow through on the offer to let her try, but she never wants to do it.  She gets kind of shy and sometimes laughs, but never really wants to nurse.

I think it is normal for your lo to be curious, and also, I think repetition of questions/statements is pretty common at that age.  I wouldn't worry about it any more than any other question he asks repeatedly, ya know?

[Nicole730]

My son is 3 and my daughter just turned one.  He loves to pretend he is nursing his doll.  He tells me when he grows up he will have bigger nipples, so he can nurse his babies.  He used to cuddle and snuggle while I nursed when she was younger, but he just plays now.  I don't tell him that only girls can nurse because I figure he will figure that out at some point and I'm pretty sure by then he won't be upset about it.  I always let him try my milk if he wanted to, he was 22 months when she was born but didn't remember how to nurse.  I put it in a cup for him.  He wasn't really that interested though.  He's also tried to pump, but I don't do it that often so he rarely saw it.  I think everything he is doing is normal and super cute.  I love how interested my son was in nursing and how much he knows about how babies need mama's milk. 

[kcstar]

I used to 'breastfeed' my dolls and teddy bears when I was small.

I was practically six when one of my brothers was born.  I remember asking about the milk, wanting to taste it.  Mom put a drop on her finger and I tried it.  By then, I didn't like it anymore.  (Not sure how long it had been since I breastfed, I don't ever remember nursing, I just know that it happened.)

I found an article some months ago, that said that men CAN actually breastfeed, usually in rare circumstances.  Missionary men whose wives died, could breastfeed their children.  It's the same principle of supply & demand, if the baby sucks long enough the breasts will respond.  It's not common, and may not be something to encourage, but also not impossible.