Toddler impression of breastfeeding..

[anjsmama]

SO lost on what to do with/say to my DS. He is 32 mo and my DD is 3 mo. I was not much of an AP when he was a baby. I did breastfeed him, but he was not a breastfed child (we stopped BFing at 4 mo when I lost my supply due to serious lack of knowledge). I did not learn much/lean much toward AP or NP until I was TTC DD (a little over a year ago). It has been good for my DS (I think) because it has created an extremely honest relationship between us and it really helped him understand my pregnancy and the addition of DD to the family. He adores her and is everything I could hope a little guy to be as a big brother.

We had about a million conversations about pregnancy and babies when I was expecting DD. However, it never occurred to me (? ) to discuss breastfeeding with him before she arrived! SO the first few weeks he really struggled with nursing time and was not a happy camper. But now that he's gotten over the frustration (and typically just cuddles up with us while I nurse her), he's got a million questions and ideas! He wants to know why he can't see the milk. He wants to know why she drinks milk but doesn't eat anything. He wants to know why she drinks milk from mom, and he drinks milk from a cup. He has asked a few times (especially before naps?) to "drink mom's milk". If I've left the pump on the table, he will pick it up and lift his shirt and try to pump!  He tries to feed his dolls. 

I have tried to just be straightforward and honest... "Only girls like Mom make milk. You are a boy like Daddy and boys don't have milk. " "Babies drink milk from their moms to grow strong and healthy.." "The milk is inside my body, like bones and blood, you can't see it." Etc etc etc etc etc.... He doesn't seem particularly upset about it, he just can't seem to understand it all. Is he too young to really get it? I guess I expected comprehension because he really did well understanding pregnancy. Is there something I can do or say to make it less confusing for him? What should I do or say when HE is asking to nurse?

P.S. Is there anyone else that is new or was new to the world of AP when your kids were little? My parents & ILs seem to be giving me that jaw-dropped look all the time, and I'd say their two biggest protests are ECing with DD and being open with DS while breastfeeding (they literally think I should cover up! breastfeeding! at home! with just my kids!)?!?! I don't really care what they think (at least, not in any way that would ever influence what I do), but I'm also sort of at a loss for what to say. They're wonderful people and I don't want to be rude? But I also can't help but feel like putting them in their place with a little education (though of course I never do).

Help??

[Jenni1894]

DS was 3 when I had DD, so he was curious.  I explained and answered his questions and after a while it just was.....  no more questions.   And again we had the questions b/c I had 2 curious on lookers.   They both asked if they could have some, I said no, it's for the baby, you're a big kid!  You get to eat the fun stuff with all your teeth!!  the baby has none.   My son would stare at me while pumping when I had a clogged duct, wanting to know what it does and how it works.   I told him...he wanted to try it.  I said no you can't, you don't have boobies and you are a boy!   DD on the other hand was more perplexed and she nursed her dolls all the time.   For her 3rd bday we got her a diaper bag set for her dolls and in it was a bottle and she asked me what it was.   I think your DS gets it.....or he's starting to if he's asking questions.   And who cares what your IL's think...your kid, your house.   You are feeding your kid, get used to it or over it!!

[PatioGardener]

If you feel comfortable with your older child nursing, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with letting him try. Chances are he won't be able to remove any milk and the whole thing will result in giggles and a loss of curiosity.

Another option would be to express some milk for him to drink off a spoon or out of a cup. This may result in requests for more though :) Or he may not see the novelty in it anymore and stop asking.

Congrats on your new little one, and for normalizing breastfeeding with your older one. He's gonna grow up knowing that babies are breastfed!

[Llyra]

My DD1 was also weaned very early. When my twins came, she expressed a lot of interest in trying to nurse. So following the advice of mamas here, I let her try. She did, twice, and was unable to extract much, and decided the whole thing was no fun, and gave up asking. A few times I expressed her a cupful of my milk to drink, and she did, and told me it was yummy, but even that interest didn't last long. She also imitated me by trying to nurse stuffed animals, and trying to use the pump. I just let her; it's normal for them to imitate our activities, and there's nothing about breastfeeding that's any different from a small child playing at any other aspect of baby care-- except our society is squeamish about breasts. Boys do it too-- my son even tries to nurse his trucks and dinosaurs, sometimes. No big deal.