What kind of birth are you planning?? - Page 3

[michray]

We just found out that we will be moving to Texas the end of May! I am so excited, because now I may actually be able to find a decent midwife and have this baby at home!!

[Lula's Mom]

Mich, where in Texas?

[EnviroBecca]

Hospital birth with a CNM. I've been seeing him (yes, a male midwife!) for 2 years and feel very confident in him. I'm not really interested in having a homebirth--I think I'd be too distracted by worrying about cleaning up after myself! :LOL

[pamamidwife]

Originally Posted by EnviroBecca

Hospital birth with a CNM. I've been seeing him (yes, a male midwife!) for 2 years and feel very confident in him. I'm not really interested in having a homebirth--I think I'd be too distracted by worrying about cleaning up after myself! :LOL

Becca, is this really the main reason why you won't homebirth? Because of the "mess"? I hear this alot and wonder if it's just a joke or if it's the one thing that holds people back. I wish they could see homebirths - for some reason, they are more clean than hospital births and the midwives clean up everything!

I just wonder because I see this alot. I wasn't sure if it's a joke, or an easy reason to dismiss homebirth even though there's more serious concerns with the poster, or some horrible misinformation out there about homebirth clean up.

?

[Aura_Kitten]

i... well... honestly now i guess i'm planning on doing UC...

[michray]

Originally Posted by Lula's Mom

Mich, where in Texas?

Austin, or there abouts. I am really hoping to end up back near Cedar Park since we lived there before and I like the "small town" feel of the area.

[ishtarmaia]

I chose unattended birth

I had my first son at the hospital. i had planned a homebirth, but between a scared, borderline unsupportive partner and midwives i barely knew ( we moved when I was 8 months pg), in the end we went to the hospital, where all my dreams were shattered. I ended up with an epidural because i couldn't relax enough in the hospital to give birth naturally.

When I became pg with my daughter, I became determined to make my dream a reality, to trust my body to give birth naturally and beautifully, and to empower myself by reading everything available. My daughter's dad was supportive of homebirth, knew about my hospital experience and wanted me to have what I wanted. He read with me and we prepared ourselves for what we ( I especially) knew was going to be a beautiful, natural, complication-free birth.

We never really had the support of our families except for my mom, who has always believed in me. His parents thought we were complete lunatics who were endangering our child. Luckily we were living in NM, 1600 miles from them.

Well, the birth was all i had hoped and Maya Nebaj Delgado was born at home, surprisingly in the basement. I was on the way upstairs to the bathroom because I thought I was going to shit myself! :LOL
The pool was in the basement, and I soaked in it for hours during labor, but got out before the Main Event. I ended up on my hands and knees on a blow-up mattress that i had used in the pool. Steven was there to catch her and my friend Bonnie was there to photograph the event. That birth changed my life and the way I have thought about myself ever since. I am STRONG!!! When I had Chance in the hospital, I was a first-timer that thought the midwives knew better than I did since they had been to births before! Ha! Now I know that I know best and that my body knows how to give birth without me having to do anything but sit back and relax as much as possible.

My experience has led me to the conclusion that while unattended birth is not for everyone, it was a beautiful and empowering trip for me. I plan to do it again in Dec. when DS #2 is due to join us. The keys to successful unattended birth seem to be 1) a supportive partner who is willing to study and believes in you and himself 2) FULL TRUST IN YOURSELF AND YOUR BODY TO DO WHAT IT KNOWS HOW TO DO NATURALLY 3) belief that the universe is watching over us, guiding us and protecting us and whatever is going to happen will happen. For me it was much easier to give birth at home because I was in charge and no one could take that away or make me do anything I didn't want to do, which was a resounding theme in my hospital birth.

Trust yourself to know what is best for you and don't let anyone talk you into something you're uncomfortable with. That's the bottom line.

Happy birthing to all!!!

Jen

[Jenb]

I posted on this a while back, but have an update!
We are having a Homebirth!!!

I had said previously in this thread that Mike wouldn't be open to the idea...Well, he was actually the one who brought it up!

I had been telling him how angst ridden I was after having spoken with several practices in the area, and how the thought of another hospital birth terrified me. Out of the blue he says, "Why don't we just have the baby at home!?!"
After I regained consciousness, we ended up talking about it until 2 am.

After MUCH searching for a HB MW in this area, one name kept coming up and I spoke with several women who had delivered with her, and had great things to say-so I got in contact with her, we met, and feel very comfortable in her care.

As somewhat of a compromise with Mike, we will be using a Midwifery practice for lateral care. I have also met with them, and really liked the MW that I saw there.

Anyway, I am so happy to be updating our decison here!

[Oregonicmama]

1 Unassisted, 1 Homebirth

I am planning a homebirth with a midwife and tub with jets etc (basically a portable hot tub I can rent from midwife's friend).

I had DD unassisted and only even had a midwife for the first trimester. I am a "hippie" and was traveling as a way of life then, so Dd was born in a Super 8!! They were really cool about it, and even though I was in my RV-van for most of the labor, I only had to push for about half an hour and it went great. She was caught by her father (he was in the tub, I was in a chair next to the tub), and we were on our way the next day. I know this probably sounds crazy to some of you (extra crazy to those who already think Unasisted Birth is nuts), but it was one of the most beautiful, life affirming experiences I've ever had and really brought Dp and I very close and super bonded us with DD.

As much as I loved it, I think it would be nice to have a "normal" homebirth this time, I want to be pampered. I doubt my baby will be "delivered" by the midwife and I am leaning toward catching her myself, but I would just like to have someone there who i don't have to tell what to say to me! LOL. And the Hot tub is just soooooo cool!!

Anyone who is planning an Unassisted birth and would like to chat or needs support, questions answered etc., please feel free to PM me!! I have never discussed this with anyone who was actually considering doing it!

[Graceoc]

JenB - WHOO HOO! I am so happy for you! I am also seeing an OB (who is even better then my last CNM) for lateral care just to put Dan's (and to some degree) my mind at ease. Best of Luck with your birth - we will both have somthing big to celebrate come December!

Grace

[EnviroBecca]

Sorry, Pam, I just now noticed your question:

Becca, is this really the main reason why you won't homebirth? Because of the "mess"?

No, really the main reason is that, on the off chance that something goes wrong and I need major medical attention, I don't want to:
a. worry about my partner, who just recently started driving, getting us to the hospital;
b. worry about having trouble getting to the hospital because of the kind of weather that typically occurs in Pittsburgh in December and be traumatized by going out into the cold in such a delicate state (I often have very strong emotional reactions to being cold);
c. face delays, harrassment, or other difficulties at the hospital because of having tried to homebirth.
I'm sure you have strategies for trying to argue me out of all these concerns, as well as the "mess" ones, but I know myself pretty well and have some sense about what is and isn't likely to drive me insane.

Regarding mess, I understand that no responsible midwife would leave piles of bloody towels lying on the carpet; of course some cleaning up would be done. But I do not want to spend my labor thinking about whether the surface I'm on is one that will stain permanently--I want to leave that for the hospital to worry about after I leave. I do not want to spend my labor glaring at dustballs behind the toilet and other pre-existing dirt that I'll feel guilty for not having attended to--I want to go to a clean, scrubbed place where that's someone else's job. I do not want to spend my labor worrying about what the midwife thinks of my housekeeping or whether I should be nudging my partner to offer him a snack. I do not want to spend my labor being distracted by things around the house (not just cleaning but all my various projects) that I feel like I ought to be doing. I do not want to be distracted immediately after birth by wondering what happened to all my towels or discussing whether we need to rent a rug shampooer.

To me, home is a place where my partner and I are responsible for taking care of ourselves and of our environment. When I am in a state of needing professional help, I don't want to be at home where I feel responsible for making sure the pro has everything he needs--I want to be in a place where he can get whatever he needs at a moment's notice and I don't have to think about it. When I am going to make a mess, I want to be in a place that's prepared for it. When I've recovered enough that I feel my partner and I can take care of me, then I want to go home and have everything be the way I left it.

I understand that others have strong feelings about wanting to be at home to give birth. I just don't particularly see the appeal myself.

[KittyKat]

Originally Posted by Lula's Mom

At this point I don't know. I had a home waterbirth with my daughter in Texas, but we've since moved from there to Georgia. And the midwifery climate here is not nearly so good; it's illegal to practice here. But I found a lay midwife before I miscarried a couple of months ago. Now that I'm pregnant again, I keep putting off calling her, and I'm not sure why. She was very nice and agreed to be as hands-off as I wanted her to be, but something in me is just yearning for UC.

I totally understand feeling like you want a UC. I've had thoughts along those lines myself sometimes. My DH is not there yet, I'm lucky he's on board with the homebirth! If you decide you do want to go with a midwife, but for whatever reasin your instinct is telling you the other midwife is not the right one for you, let me know. I am in GA, and I know a few midwives.

I had a home waterbirth with my 4th, and seriously the midwife spent almost the entire labor napping in the back bedroom. She would check on me every so often, and listen to the heartbeat. Once she asked me how long it had been since I made a bathroom trip (in a VERY gentle way) and I was very pleased at how hands-off she was.

Kathryn

[green betty]

If I had my druthers I'd give birth in a b/c with a CNM. Where I live in Nova Scotia, however, no such thing exists. My choices are A) home birth with a direct-entry midwife, or B) hospital birth in a hospital with a good reputation in some ways but a 25% C rate. I don't care for any of the local midwives and dh is dead-set against home birth, having had a very scary experience of an unforseen high-risk birth with first first child (former marriage). I'm reluctantly going with hospital birth with a kick-ass doula and planning to stay home as late in labor as I reasonably can. I'd love advice from experienced moms in similar situations!

[Lula's Mom]

Originally Posted by KittyKat

I totally understand feeling like you want a UC. I've had thoughts along those lines myself sometimes. My DH is not there yet, I'm lucky he's on board with the homebirth! If you decide you do want to go with a midwife, but for whatever reasin your instinct is telling you the other midwife is not the right one for you, let me know. I am in GA, and I know a few midwives.

I had a home waterbirth with my 4th, and seriously the midwife spent almost the entire labor napping in the back bedroom. She would check on me every so often, and listen to the heartbeat. Once she asked me how long it had been since I made a bathroom trip (in a VERY gentle way) and I was very pleased at how hands-off she was.

Kathryn

Thanks for the offer, Kathryn. My journey to the Dark Side is now complete, however! We ARE going to UC! I feel so confident about this decision- it's the only right one for me. I am practically bursting with excitement and anticipation of doing it by ourselves. And thank God my fiance is very supportive of it, because this is how I need to birth, and I need him 100% with me.

I considered calling the midwife and having a long talk about just how hands-off I need her to be, and I know she would have agreed. We'd talked previously about some births she attended and she said she usually lets couples labor alone. She'll sit in the next room if that's what they want. But even that didn't feel right. I didn't want her there AT ALL, because I knew I'd be undermining my faith in myself, my baby, and nature's processes just by having her available. If she were there, even in the next room (even waiting outside in her car!) I knew I'd turn to her for reassurance, rather than looking within myself and to my partner. This is such a sacred, private life experience to me, and I don't want to share it with a relative stranger. I know I will be calmer, more centered, and I will listen to what my body is telling me as I labor- whereas if a midwife were present, I'd be very likely to ask her what she thinks. Is it OK to push? Should I try a different position? Does it seem like it's taking too long? Can I do this? I'll be the one answering when I ask questions, and it feels totally right.

My mom will hopefully make it here to be the support person for my 3-year-old (while, I'd love a quick labor, I hope it's not TOO fast or she will not make it, as she has to drive 8 hours to get here). So it'll be her, my daughter, and my fiance. And those are the only people I want near me.

[Past_VNE]

We're having a homebirth, with a midwife who promises to be as hands-off or as hands-on as I desire at the time. I see myself wanting her to be in the other room, leaving us mostly to our own devices. But, having never given birth before, I don't know this for certain. She (they both) seem quite willing to go with the flow. I hope I am not disappointed in the reality, but feel confident that they are both truthful women. (fingers crossed)