Exploring new avenues

[4midablemama]

I am a single parent to a 5 year-old daughter and a 2 1/2 year old son. For the most part, they are very good kids, I am very blessed, but as the main authority figure in their lives, I find myself frustrated and reacting badly to behaviors that I know very well are age and developmentally related. I feel like I am yelling way too much, that my kids are getting too much negative and not enough positive; that is the way I was raised, and I always swore that I would do better by my kids, but I'm not quite sure I know how. My daughter has minor sensory issues-OT calls them "body positioning" and "gravitational" problems-so I believe that she, especially, needs mommy to be less of a yeller and more of a thinker/instructor. I've been reading about gentle discipline, and it seems like it might be the beginning of a solution to my dilemma, but again, I'm not completely sure where to start. Are there any good books? What is a good starting point for someone who wants to try and start practicing it? Is it even effective trying to start it this late?

[hakeber]

I definitely believe that there is no such thing as too late to begin gentle methods of communication and discipline.  Maybe if they are 18 and out of the house...then it's probably a little too late, but at least it will usually mean a healthier relationship with your adult children. :D

For me the best place to start was here on these boards, asking incident specific questions and getting feedback from lots of different moms.  I also have found my background in Non-violent Communication and Conflict Transformation very helpful.  I like Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids, and Parenting from the Heart.  For me those were great guides. 

But there are lots of good book recs here.

Welcome to the board!

[mom2grrls]

There are lots of good books and websites out there and it's absolutely not too late to get started:)  The first books that I started reading on GD were Kids Are Worth It, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk, and Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves.  Playful Parenting is great for the 2-5 y/o kids.  Good Luck on your journey!

[sunnygir1]

Originally Posted by mom2grrls 

There are lots of good books and websites out there and it's absolutely not too late to get started:)  The first books that I started reading on GD were Kids Are Worth It, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk, and Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves.  Playful Parenting is great for the 2-5 y/o kids.  Good Luck on your journey!

I'm looking up the books suggested here that I haven't read yet.  Is your Playful Parenting recommendation one of these?

Playful parenting : turning the dilemma of discipline into fun and games / Denise Chapman Weston and Mark S. Weston

Playful parenting : an exciting new approach to raising children that will help you nurture close connections, solve behavior problems, encourage confidence / Lawrence J. Cohen

or

Playful parenting : turning the dilemma of discipline into fun and games / Denise Chapman Weston and Mark S. Weston

[mom2grrls]

The one by Lawrence Cohen:)

[Just1More]

 I think the key to good parenting is simply to be very observant and pay close attention to what your children are doing and try to discern why.  Then you can formulate a plan of action.  Once you have a plan, then you stick to it, calmly and consistently, modifying where necessary.  I find that knowing I will do x when y happens keeps me AND the kids calmer and happier.