Seriously considering homeschooling - need advise/support

[berkeleyp]

My dds will be 6 and 3 this summer and dd1 is currently in public-K.  I work from home for my husband's business part time and my kids are either at school or at daycare about 25 hours a week so I can focus on work.  My dd1 is very bright, artistic, and curious.  She just started reading and understands basic math well beyond K -level.  Following her lead, I showed her how to add up multi-digit numbers and she quickly learned the concept of carrying a 1.  She also makes her own little books with complete sentences and artwork stapled together on her own, without being prompted and is a good artist for her age.    I am her mother so I am biased  and she is not a genius but she is ahead of many of the kids in her class and is bored at school.  She has started saying she hates school and complaining about going.  She says she is bored and doesn't want to do the silly worksheets that are so easy for her. 

It breaks my heart that school is going to break her talents, rather than cultivate them.  Already she has had trouble with other kids in the class because she is a smarty pants.  This was how I was in school too and I really hated school starting in elementary school.  I dumbed myself down starting at a young age and learned that very little effort reaped praise from teachers so I quickly learned to expend as little effort as possible to get an A. I would love to homeschool her and think that she would really excel but I have mixed feelings:

1. I worry that I won't be able to become a part of a homeschooling community to the extent I would wish - I worry that I won't click with other parents or won't be available for certain activities because of my work schedule.

2. Part of me thinks that the trial of public school is just part of life and learning to deal with it is beneficial.  But otoh, that's not really what I want for my child.

3. School does provide 30+ hours a week (starting in 1st grade)  out of the house so I can work without paying for daycare.

4. I have limited funds and worry that I would be tempted to spend too much money on field trips and other activiites. 

5. My dd1 and myself often butt heads and I wonder if that wouldn't get in the way of me teaching her - though really I think she'll mostly be teaching herself.  I like the unschooling model in general perhaps with a little structure from time to time. 

Do you think I can do it?   I've always contemplated it - as a middle-schooler for myself and now seriously as a parent.  My dh likes the idea but both of us will have to really take a plunge to do it.  kwim?  It just seems daunting but exciting at the same time.  How have you come to homeschooling?  Was it hard getting started? 

[Kristin0105]

I am by means no expert my dd is only 5 and half and we have only been "homeschooling" since age 4. However, I am not sure why you question whether you could do it or not? Is it because you have to work 25 hours a week? If that's the case can you fit your work schedule around your husband being home or have a neighbor's child come to play with your daughter while you work? Depending on the child 10-12 year olds love to play with the 4-6 year old kids and you may not even have to pay her very much at all. Also your daughter at this age should be out exploring and playing most of the time so it's not like you need to be teaching formally. You can't spend money you don't have on curriculum LOL so that  may help curb your spending spree on curriculum. I picked one area to focus on for curriculum and the rest we just do real life learning, the library, the internet, the library, museums, back to the library :)

Have fun sounds liek you guys will enjoy this journey together.

[eli's mama]

Berkeley,you probably don't remember me but I was in Barbara Soderberg's birth class with you way back when.  

I have oh so recently come to the same place as you with my ds1.  We have decided to pull him out of ps at the end of this year.  The short version is that ds1 is bored.  He can't sit still in school and i'm constantly hearing that he's not "working up to his potential"

I have most of your same issues with the exception of work as I don't currently work.  And I don't have my dh's full support either, as he really thinks that public school teaches kids to work through a lot of difficult situations.  I never hated school, but I did feel socially awkward, and I'm not sure I've ever gotten over that.  

Either way, we have decided to take the plunge and I'm thrilled. 

That being said our local HS inclusive group (on yahoo) won't let me in until we are actively HSing.  But there are lots of other resources out there.  Like the Lutz children's museum coop that offers classes on Monday, I know some people who go there, and I've been looking into some other cool (and cheap) ways to get involved.  

If you want to do it, you can do it!  

[berkeleyp]

Also your daughter at this age should be out exploring and playing most of the time so it's not like you need to be teaching formally.  

Yeah, I get this - sort of but I'm a little new to the idea of unschooling in this way.   How much focused time do you think I would need?  I'm thinking an hour or so EVERY day for reading with her minimum plus trips to the library to get books that she's interested in (fiction and non) plus I'd like ideally to meet up with other homeschoolers at least once or twice a week for support and community building.  She's already in a dance class and there is a homeschool ice skating class that she would love not too far away so I might sign her up for that. 

Mostly I don't know if she'd be happy for 20-25 hours per week while I'm working.  I would keep my younger dd in daycare during this time.  

[mom2ponygirl]

Originally Posted by berkeleyp 

1. I worry that I won't be able to become a part of a homeschooling community to the extent I would wish - I worry that I won't click with other parents or won't be available for certain activities because of my work schedule.

This can be a little tough, but if you pick one or two events to do regularly it works out.   Initially we started homeschooling with me working 10 hours per week outside the home and 15-30 hours a week from home.  But our dd made connections and so did I.  We both made way more connections that when I worked full-time and she attended preschool/K.  I'm now working half-time outside the home and a little at home.

2. Part of me thinks that the trial of public school is just part of life and learning to deal with it is beneficial.  But otoh, that's not really what I want for my child.

Yeah, occasionallly I think that too -but my dd is 12.5 now and she seems to be handling the world pretty well so far.  She has also had her share of trials and tribulations, but I've known about them and been able to give her guidance when needed.  She tried half time school last year and got along great with the kids, got high 'A's etc.  Even without years of practice she could take notes, sit for exams, get along with a variety of kids and teachers, tolerate dull classes, etc.  She was really happy to go back to full-time homeschooling though and plans to continue until college. 

3. School does provide 30+ hours a week (starting in 1st grade)  out of the house so I can work without paying for daycare.

This is very true.  However, hassles and varying schedules at school can eat up a lot of time and mental energy you could spend elsewhere.

4. I have limited funds and worry that I would be tempted to spend too much money on field trips and other activiites. 

Sigh, it is easy to get carried away. :-)  We will send thoughts of restraint your way as we struggle with our own.  You will realize much of what you spend money on you can do without, but it all looks so good!

5. My dd1 and myself often butt heads and I wonder if that wouldn't get in the way of me teaching her - though really I think she'll mostly be teaching herself.  I like the unschooling model in general perhaps with a little structure from time to time. 

You could also look at it as a great way to work the kinks out of your relationship.  I definitely grew in patience and understanding.  I've learned that the areas my daughter needs the most help with aren't academics.  Focus and organization, awareness of social cues, etc. have been something we gently worked on over the years. 

Do you think I can do it?   I've always contemplated it - as a middle-schooler for myself and now seriously as a parent.  My dh likes the idea but both of us will have to really take a plunge to do it.  kwim?  It just seems daunting but exciting at the same time.  How have you come to homeschooling?  Was it hard getting started? 

The hardest part was deciding to do it.  It has definitely been a work in progress and the balance between work and homeschooling is every evolving.  I have spent many hours worrying.  However, I don't think I would have avoided the worry if she had gone to school - the subject matter would have shifted a bit is all.  Overall the journey has been so worthwhile.  My daughter is nearly a teen, and I just love spending time with her and she still likes my company. :-)  We came to homeschooling for reasons similar to yours.  She went to preschool/K at a private Montessori.  She was very academically advanced once it was time to switch to public school.  We talked with the school but it just didn't feel right.  We talked to the one secular private school in town, but it didn't seem like a great fit either.  We decided to try homeschooling for a trial year and here we are 7 years later.  

[mom2ponygirl]

http://www.wku.edu/academy/?p=430

An interesting article to read for a child that is academically ahead of their peers in early elementary. 

[berkeleyp]

Thanks for that article.  That totally strikes home with me.  I was that kid and in some ways, I still feel like I'm a little behind in the areas mentioned.   It is unfortnate that the schools are not equipped to deal with different learners.  By holding all accountable to the same standard, many are left behind one way or another.  It seems like only the "average" kids can really do well.  The gifted are bored because they are forced to do things over and over and are never challenged.  And the ones who need more time are never really given the opportunity to learn.  I've been in my daughter's class and already in kindy I see this dynamic.   The teacher doesn't have the time to give attention to kids on either side of the spectrum and so the class is continually geared toward the middle. 

Mom2ponygirl - thanks for sharing your experiences with me.   You are right that being home with my daughter would give us the opportunity to work on our relationship and reducing the struggles associated with a school schedule might actually improve things.  I find that we clash the most when she doens't get enough of my attention - which can be far too often unfortunatley.  Homeschooling might ensure the kind of focused attention she needs. 

I like the idea of a trial year.  My husband is more concerned than I about her missing out on the trial of school but I will have to show him that article to highlight what he already knows (having been bored in school himself).  

She can always go back to school if things don't work out.  Otoh, part of me wants to give another year a try.  Currently she is enrolled in a muli-age classroom for next year which will be a mix of 1st and 2nd graders with interaction with the 3rd and 4th grade multi-age as well.