Who do you have the biggest problems with, ie NOT vaxxing?

[Treece]

I ask this question because my problems come from family members and other lay persons, but the professionals understand. The doctors, speech therapist, even some daycare providers understand the reasons to questions vaccines. So, who gives you the biggest problems. (Oh, my children aren't old enough to attend school, but I doubt that would even be a problem.)

ETA: I am always honest with ER personnell, and have had maybe 2 nurses (and no doctors or NPs) say something. I am also a take them in kinda parent, but I seek outside advice.

Edited by Treece - 4/30/11 at 8:16pm

[Bokonon]

I don't really share my vax decisions with friends and family, because I don't feel it's any of their business.  I have told my mother that we've decided to delay vaccines for my youngest after her 2 month shots, and I felt comfortable with that because she knows that I do a lot of research and take my children's health very seriously.  Also, I don't really worry about her arguing with me about things like that because I could debate her under the table, LOL.  (Not saying that I'm a great debater - just that she's that bad!)

Fortunately she was very understanding of our decision and shared some helpful anecdotes about VPDs that our family has had (she had measles at 2 years old, my grandmother had polio as an adult, both recovered without complications) and vaccine injuries among friends' children.  So she respects my decision.  I would not expect the ILs to be so understanding, so DH hasn't mentioned it to them.

I think being selective about who you share that information with is key.  If they don't NEED to know, don't tell them.

[Treece]

My family doesn't know. My mother would have a cow. In fact, her statement after i told her that we didn't circ, was what cemented my resolve. I was already questioning, but at that point wasn't sure. My dad IDK what he would say.

The IL know simply because of location. We live blocks from mil. So, she knows and really disagrees. I mean REALLY. But I try to tell her that there are exemptions and the crap that is in vaxes. I don't know if she listens or not. However, the professionals don't question it. :) So I have had very little problems there.

[SilverMoon010]

I experience the opposite. I have the biggest problem with our DS's pediatric practice, although the doc we prefer to see is "okay" with it.  Of course he does not agree with it, but he is the least pushiest ped in that practice when it comes to the vaccines and respects parents' decisions.  However, I was really disappointed after he presented us with the Refusal to Vaccinate form.  I saw him in a different light since then.  I don't tell our friends and neighbors of our decision because it's none of their business, unless they ask.   

I do get my biggest support from family, particularly my mom.  I don't know what I'd do without her.  She does so much research on everything.  There are many reasons she supports our decision and completely agrees with our choice, but among those, she saw my brother experience an extremely severe reaction to the DPT vaccine over 30 years ago when he was a baby.  The doctor even told her it was the "P" component in the vaccine that caused his reaction.  She said if she knew then what she knows now, she would not have vaccinated us.  My sister-in-law (brother's wife) also feels the same way.  They have twin girls 17 months, unvaccinated.  My dad's new wife, my stepmom, is a total hippy who didn't vaccinate her children and they are 100% healthy and happy. 

Oh, and my husband of course is completely supportive and agrees 100%.  That helps a ton because if he didn't, I could see a ton of fights.

[babygirlie]

All the ILs cared about after her 2 year check up was vaccines. Didn't care about her severe delays or anything to do with that. When asked at the doctors I said I would like to wait until she's at least spoken a word ((before I've lost her completely I'd like to see her say SOMETHING or know her name)) and dh chimed in and she's getting over a cold. The doctor whole heartedly agreed. His son is exactly like our kid he said. So I'm not sure who he was agreeing with but he agreed regardless. When dh told the ILs the doctor agreed it was better for her to wait and had a child just like her they grilled him on his son's vaccine schedule which we didn't know and frankly seemed a little intrusive to ask if given the opportunity. I would guess that he is since I do know this doctor vaccinates; but thank goodness I found a kind doctor.

So it doesn't matter I take her to speech therapy, OT therapy and autism therapy all by myself.. or that I am so aware of everything on her body I know exactly what she's allergic to and they all say I'm full of crap and then feed her something and panic when she turns into a giant red blister.

but no.. they don't care she can't talk or mimic or at easter she was clueless nor did she care about the easter eggs and walked right by them to go sort dirt into perfect lines, nor how she ignored her bday cake, couldn't blow a candle out if her life depended on it and was horrified the cake touched her fingers.. nope all they give a crap is if she's had her polio vaccine which no one here has had a case in nearly 50 years and that only1% of people who have it have severe symptoms and only 1% of that 1% actually don't recover.

Nope I know nothing at all.. only thing that matters is she's had 10000000 vaccines. And I'm sick of MIL saying oh she's so smart though as I stare at her licking the fence for 3 hours at her house. Really? You want to shove aluminum and mercury into that poor frail body??

Makes me mad. DH just got a huge tongue lashing today so it's all up in my gruff right now sorry lol. Oh and I just LOVE when their kids get their vaccines the first thing they do is run over to touch dd. Why not go hang out somewhere else. Nor do I appreciate MIL waiting until I'm gone at my own home to invite her dd and children when they are hella sick and they leave before I get home. It's fishy. It's weird and creeps me out. In 2 years she's only babysat maybe twice. In 2 years it's only been me. Dh doesn't do much. She sure seems smart for only seeing her like 4 times in her life.

[ma2two]

Nobody has ever given me a problem about not vaccinating my children, because nobody knows except my husband, their doctor, and the school office. I knew before they were born that I wouldn't be vaccinating, so I chose a doctor who is known for being accepting of that choice. I've never discussed the exemption with the school. I knew the law and just turned in the appropriate exemption paperwork along with the other registration papers.

[Bokonon]

Originally Posted by babygirlie 

All the ILs cared about after her 2 year check up was vaccines. Didn't care about her severe delays or anything to do with that. When asked at the doctors I said I would like to wait until she's at least spoken a word ((before I've lost her completely I'd like to see her say SOMETHING or know her name)) and dh chimed in and she's getting over a cold. The doctor whole heartedly agreed. His son is exactly like our kid he said. So I'm not sure who he was agreeing with but he agreed regardless. When dh told the ILs the doctor agreed it was better for her to wait and had a child just like her they grilled him on his son's vaccine schedule which we didn't know and frankly seemed a little intrusive to ask if given the opportunity. I would guess that he is since I do know this doctor vaccinates; but thank goodness I found a kind doctor.

So it doesn't matter I take her to speech therapy, OT therapy and autism therapy all by myself.. or that I am so aware of everything on her body I know exactly what she's allergic to and they all say I'm full of crap and then feed her something and panic when she turns into a giant red blister.

but no.. they don't care she can't talk or mimic or at easter she was clueless nor did she care about the easter eggs and walked right by them to go sort dirt into perfect lines, nor how she ignored her bday cake, couldn't blow a candle out if her life depended on it and was horrified the cake touched her fingers.. nope all they give a crap is if she's had her polio vaccine which no one here has had a case in nearly 50 years and that only1% of people who have it have severe symptoms and only 1% of that 1% actually don't recover.

Nope I know nothing at all.. only thing that matters is she's had 10000000 vaccines. And I'm sick of MIL saying oh she's so smart though as I stare at her licking the fence for 3 hours at her house. Really? You want to shove aluminum and mercury into that poor frail body??

Makes me mad. DH just got a huge tongue lashing today so it's all up in my gruff right now sorry lol. Oh and I just LOVE when their kids get their vaccines the first thing they do is run over to touch dd. Why not go hang out somewhere else. Nor do I appreciate MIL waiting until I'm gone at my own home to invite her dd and children when they are hella sick and they leave before I get home. It's fishy. It's weird and creeps me out. In 2 years she's only babysat maybe twice. In 2 years it's only been me. Dh doesn't do much. She sure seems smart for only seeing her like 4 times in her life.

Why are your ILs so involved in your child's doctor's visits and medical care?  Why can't you just decline to give them that information?

[Marnica]

Originally Posted by ma2two 

Nobody has ever given me a problem about not vaccinating my children, because nobody knows except my husband, their doctor, and the school office. I knew before they were born that I wouldn't be vaccinating, so I chose a doctor who is known for being accepting of that choice. I've never discussed the exemption with the school. I knew the law and just turned in the appropriate exemption paperwork along with the other registration papers.

 Pretty much this - except DS hasn''t gone to school yet. My parents know and don't give me a hard time. They were more curious than upset and seem to accept the reasons I gave them. IL's do not know. DH is not close to them and they live far away - they would not be supportive either so no sense in sharing it with them. I have a handful of friends that know - but the friends I have chosen to share this with are friends that I KNEW would be supportive before I told them. If any of my other friends asked me point blank - I wouldn't lie, but they haven't asked and I haven't gone out of my way to tell them. I don't see the point

[Greenlea]

I tend not to share my no-vax decision with anyone except my DC doctor.  A lot of my family doesn't know we don't vax.  I just don't want to get into it with them, most of them just don't understand.

[KayCSmommy]

      Unfortunately it took my son to have a sever allergic reaction at his 18 month baby-well visit before I realized the truth that vaccines can be dangerous; so my son has had most of his vaccines. I feel terrible now about vaccinating him, especially since now if you even mention shots my son will go into hysterics. When I called and talked to the doctor who gave my child the shots (my pediatrician had just transferred to another state and I was in between peds) and he told me that what my son was experiencing was normal and to just give him some Tylenol for the fever, and gave me some cream for the rash. I thought if crying non-stop for 3 days, and being sick for three weeks, a fever, and rash is normal for vaccines then he doesn't need anymore. He had several shots all at once so I am not even sure which one (or if it was the combination of them) it was, but since I now know he has a sensitivity to eggs I am thinking it was probably the flu shot that I specifically said I didn't want him to have.

       So now 3.5 years later I finally found a Pediatrician that didn't harass, or belittle me about my decision, when I told her that the last round of shots made him sick, and I don't think its safe for him to have anymore. She scribbled something down on her paper and said okay. I was relieved!! I was waiting for the bad parent speech or just because YOU THINK that the vaccines caused the sickness doesn't mean that it was the vaccines and its more safe blah, blah, blah. I am glad I finally found one that doesn't belittle and harass me about it!! I actually had one of the pediatricians tell me off and make me sign a form that said I turned down the vaxes and there was a quote on the bottom of the page that said something like "For the parents who choose not to vaccinate their children, you have the ones who do vaccinate to thank for your health, because its the parents who vax that save us all" or something like that. There was also a big sign with that same saying above the door as you go into the office. I am actually starting to think that its the state that I leave in because after an "outbreak" of measles here a few weeks ago, the comments in the news and on the radios stations and everything is very hateful towards those who don't vax.

       I have never really covered up the fact that I don't vax, if people I know have asked I tell them he had an allergic reaction to them and so I don't vax anymore, most are okay with it. My sister actually wishes she would not have vaxed her daughter, but her daughters father wouldn't allow their child to be unvaxed. Then when my cousin took her 12 year old to get the HPV shot and she had a reaction to it, I fought with her mom about it, and told her not to get the two boosters for it, which she did anyway, So my Aunt and cousins know and they are actually the only ones who don't agree with my decision to not vax, but they don't give me grief either. They did text when they found out about the measles outbreak wondering if I had vaxed him for the measles, and hoping that I would change my mind and start vaxing again. Other than my Aunt and her family  my family and friends haven't been too hard on me, and Ryan has finally decided that he doesn't like vaccines either. He was on the fence about it for a long time, but has decided that he doesn't like the government to tell him what is good and bad for him so he is on board with me now!! (He was on board with me for Ky because he lived through the horror of it, but he said if we had another baby he would want the baby vaxed unless it had a reaction too).

     My family has pretty much been okay with it, but the doctors, health professionals and other places have given me hell, so its hard but they are not going to sway me into vaxing!!

[babygirlie]

when asked a question straight out you can only dance around or mumble so much. I don't lie. I avoid as much as humanly possible but they push and push. I've never discussed it with them just short answers. They are also her only family so they are curious about what happens to her

[member234098]

Please do not discuss your child's vaccine status with any one. It is NONE of anyone's business.

I never did.  My children are now grown.  This was before the HIPAA law.  You are now protected by this, so please do not discuss your child's health and any personal decisions you make about it with anyone.  

You are going to encounter many people in life who disagree with decisions you make. Choose which ones you are willing to fight over. This decision does not have to be discussed with anyone, so zip it and be proud. 

Personally, I have had problems with the secretaries in the elementary schools who do not know anything about the exemptions that are in the law and think they know everything.  I bring a copy of the law with me to educate them and then call in the principal and tell him/her that the secretary needs to be brought up to speed.  I also have a problem with doctors in the ER who are fishing for a reason to call CPS.  

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by babygirlie 

when asked a question straight out you can only dance around or mumble so much. I don't lie. I avoid as much as humanly possible but they push and push. I've never discussed it with them just short answers. They are also her only family so they are curious about what happens to her

thats when "it's none of your damn business" should be pulled out. Either be polite and accept their interference or be a temporary bitch and get the point across. I have been there to a lesser extent. I so regret ever even beginning to talk to my own mom about dd's vax status. My mil has asked and when I told her she was thrilled I didn't vax dd..
 

there is another thread like this, I don't get why people are so casual about sharing this kind of medical information about their kids.. On facebook even, it's crazy, do you share all your other medical info with other people?? (not you op specifically, just a general you)

[Monarchgrrl]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24 

thats when "it's none of your damn business" should be pulled out. Either be polite and accept their interference or be a temporary bitch and get the point across. I have been there to a lesser extent. I so regret ever even beginning to talk to my own mom about dd's vax status. My mil has asked and when I told her she was thrilled I didn't vax dd..
 

there is another thread like this, I don't get why people are so casual about sharing this kind of medical information about their kids.. On facebook even, it's crazy, do you share all your other medical info with other people?? (not you op specifically, just a general you)

So is that what you'd say to a close family member that just brings it up in conversation, as in "How did your DD do with her shots?" What do you say? I'm very close to my family, so I don't feel right lying about it and I would never say, "None of your damn business", when they aren't meaning anything by it. So far, my mom knows we aren't vaxxing and my dad thinks we are just delaying. When friends or co-workers say something about how hard it must be to see your little one cry when getting a shot, I just mumble or say Mmm. I just don't understand saying It's none of your damn business to someone you're close with.

[angelachristin]

Originally Posted by Monarchgrrl 

So is that what you'd say to a close family member that just brings it up in conversation, as in "How did your DD do with her shots?" What do you say? I'm very close to my family, so I don't feel right lying about it and I would never say, "None of your damn business", when they aren't meaning anything by it. So far, my mom knows we aren't vaxxing and my dad thinks we are just delaying. When friends or co-workers say something about how hard it must be to see your little one cry when getting a shot, I just mumble or say Mmm. I just don't understand saying It's none of your damn business to someone you're close with.

My MIL used to be a nurse and she is very old school.  She would never approve of not vaxing.  She also lives 5 minutes away and sees my kids a miniumum of 5 days/week.  This has never been an issue, though, because we have never told her!  She will say things like, "It must be about time for DS's 4-year checkup, isn't it?"  and I'll say, "Yes, it must be," and that's that.  I think a few times she's says things like "How did he do with his shots?" and I'll say, "He didn't have any problems," which is certainly not a lie...he couldn't have a problem if he didn't have them at all!  The funniest thing of all is that once she asked DS if he got shots at the doctor and DS said, "YES! and it hurts so bad!" and made a sad face...I can't imagine why he said this unless he was remembering a few shots of antibiotics he got when he was like 2 years old...LOL.

 

[Lisa1970]

I never have problems. If someone starts to say something, I usually have quick responses..oddly. I get more trouble from people over home schooling than nonvaxing. My brother likes to give me a hard time about everything under the sun, so when he started, I invited him to run to his doctor and get all those shots. I reminded him he never had most of the shots out today, but he is welcome to go get them. What could he really say to that? He tries to argue about anything, but did not have a response. I am sure next time he will have a response ready.

[Lisa1970]

At urgent care the other day, they asked about being up to date on vaccinations. I usually just say yes, but this time, I said yes..but then added in "but then again, that question is so vague, I mean, what does up-to-date really mean, when every state has different requirements and every country does and so on." The nurses (2 in the room at the time) actually laughed  and said I was right. 

When I went looking for a new pediatrician, I said straight up I do not intend to vaccinate and do they have a problem with it. If they said yes, I did not go. There is one pediatrician I started with. Then when she told me which school her daughter went to, which is a private school, I knew for a fact that many of the kids there were not vaccinated. Everytime I went in, she asked which vaccination we would be doing and I would say none now, thank you. I could tell she was bothered but did not argue. But we have not been back there in months and since none of the kids have been sick, and I skipped the well check ups at the end there, no point in going. 

But if anyone wants to ask...I just have too many facts to back up not vaccinating and no one, so far, has been able to argue with me because I did my research and have reasons. Honestly, I have found that not vaccinating is usually the informed decision and vaccinating is usually the decision made by people who have done little to no research. My favorite argument I have heard from people is "I was fully vaccinated and my child will be too." To that, I say "have you seen your own shot records?" And that is when their argument ends. I tell them that when they were born, many of the shots given now were not even available back then. So, if they want their children to have all they had, they need to get their records because no way did they have all the shots given today. Even my 15 and 16 yr olds did not have all the shots being given to babies today.

[Lisa1970]

LOL...I love it!!!!
 

Originally Posted by angelachristin 


 The funniest thing of all is that once she asked DS if he got shots at the doctor and DS said, "YES! and it hurts so bad!" and made a sad face...I can't imagine why he said this unless he was remembering a few shots of antibiotics he got when he was like 2 years old...LOL.

[Treece]

Well, I just wanted to add that I don't go around telling people that I don't vax. I think honestly that DH told his mom and was asking for advice. My usual response is taht I don't want those chemicals in my children. I told a doctor that I was worried about the aluminum, she said Al is in deoderant, and I said "I use Baking Soda." No commnet lol. But she is the ONLY doctor I ever had problems with. She kicked us out of the practice. And then i find out I could have changed doctors grrr.

But anywho. I really like reading these comments.

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by Monarchgrrl 

So is that what you'd say to a close family member that just brings it up in conversation, as in "How did your DD do with her shots?" What do you say? I'm very close to my family, so I don't feel right lying about it and I would never say, "None of your damn business", when they aren't meaning anything by it. So far, my mom knows we aren't vaxxing and my dad thinks we are just delaying. When friends or co-workers say something about how hard it must be to see your little one cry when getting a shot, I just mumble or say Mmm. I just don't understand saying It's none of your damn business to someone you're close with.

if someone is going to harass/belittle me about it, yes I will say it is none of their damn business because it isn't...if it is family or a polite inquiry I have generally just said "we don't do that"... I didn't mean to give the impression that I just blurt that out but the thread was about being attacked for your decisions and I don't suffer someone who is probably ignorant about the topic giving me a lecture family/friend or acquantence. Obviously you have been lucky enough to not get in an argument with a close family member over the subject!