The 8-10 Month Sleep Regression - tell me all about it

[Terrilein]

My ds - just 9 months, been crawling  and cruising for sometime now - has more or less stopped sleeping in the past three days. It started on just this Thursday and we were on vacation until Friday. He sleeps for a bit and then just tosses and turns, crawls all over me, wants to nurse, nurse, nurse for HOURS until we finally fall exhausted out of bed. I do think he's on the verge of talking and maybe walking. He really seems to want to communicate and often just acts very excited or expectant . . . it's so hard to pin-point it! But how do I get him to sleep???? Obviously co-sleeping and nursing are not working. I'm sooooo tired and look and feel like a train wreck. And how long does this phase last???

ETA: He just started clapping his hands this very minute. Maybe we'll get some sleep tonite?

Edited by Terrilein - 5/1/11 at 9:42am

[arieltron]

subbing!

[aphel]

subbing.

We are so tired. In addition to the tossing and turning, it is now taking 30-45 minutes to nurse little S down, whereas it used to take about 10,

[scrandall1173]

Could it be teething- therefore wants to nurse constantly?

My daughter got like this around 9 months, when she had just learned to crawl. We were cosleeping at the time and I would wake to her crawling off the mattress with a happy excited grin in her face. I couldn't understand how she could be so awake and bubbly in the middle of the night!

We moved her to her crib and she slept a lot better. We rocked her to sleep. If she woke I went right in and rocked her back down.

I slept much better, too, not needing to have one eye open to see what she was up to!

Not sure if any of this helps, but seems like it is a passing stage. Hope it passes quickly for you!

[Terrilein]

Hmm, I don't know! He still has no teeth although we've often thought one was coming when he got particularly crabby. Last night was somewhat better. I did notice early this a.m. that he's not really waking up. He was crawling around eyes closed in his sleep! So, yeah, it looks like we're just going to have to wait this one out. I wish I knew how to get settled, though. I can't imagine putting him in his crib as being very helpful. He's an avid co-sleeper and all-night-nurser. We wouldn't get any sleep at all.

[LittleBirdy]

So in addition to maybe teething and maybe learning to walk and maybe getting some language skills, there's probably stuff going on inside his little noggin that you can't see that could be affecting his sleep.  In this age range they go through two cognitive leaps that are pretty much back to back.  Just like when they practice crawling in their sleep, they're "practicing" thinking about these two things and it can make it really hard for them to sleep.  (Everything I know about sleep regressions I learned from AskMoxie.org, and as she says it's like when we have a lot on our minds and can't turn off to go to sleep.)

There is one leap at 37 weeks (from due date) - "The World of Categories" and then another leap at 46 weeks - "The World of Sequences".  Every baby is different but their sleep can be affected for several weeks prior to each leap, so that's why the 8 - 10 month regression is such a big one.  Especially since most babies are probably also teething & learning to crawl/walk right then too.

I am in the thick of it with you.  For us the difficulty is the earlier part of the night, so at least *my* sleep isn't suffering so much.  Although DS did decide to start the day at 5:00 a.m. this morning - oy.  And he is like your LO - hardcore co-sleeper and night nurser, a crib would definitely not help us!  I am just trying to wait it out.  I play a numbers game too, to help me get through it: a lot of people say at 11 months it gets better, so I strive for that.  And if he's not better then, the next age that a lot of babies get better is 15 months, and by 11 months that's only 4 more months so not that long.  And if he doesn't get better by 15 months then he's sure to be better by 2, and if I make it through 15 months what's a few more?

[Chloe'sMama]

I am here too.  I don't remember it being so bad with my DD1.  I have been up constantly for the past 4 nights and I am feeling so exhausted.  I read that it is just a phase and it will pass (usually 3-6 weeks).

Good luck to the rest of you.

[slgt]

We've been in this sleep regression since about 4.5 months...DD went right from the 4-month into this one, I guess. Teething, crawling, pulling up, walking, signing, talking - all of the above. I'm so damn tired, but it can't last forever, right?

[expat-mama]

Right there with you too!

I've just about given up trying different things to cope with it... none of the "expert's" methods work (NCSS etc.). We've been struggling since about 7 months and it has gotten only marginally better in the last 2 weeks or so.

My DS is a cosleeper too (he sleeps in his crib for the first part of the night but refuses to sleep in there once DH and I go to bed) and for the past week or so I have been leaving and sleeping in our guest room around 2-3 am after nursing DS down. And, miraculously, this seems to work for some reason- DS stays asleep most of the time or only requires DH to pat/shush him down for a couple of minutes! Before, this was the hell-period for me- DS was waking too many times to count and/or continuously nursing until 5 am when he'd be UP for the day. Now I leave the room between 2 & 3 and come back to nurse him around 5 when he gets up and then he actually goes back to sleep until 6 or 7! It's amazing.

But other than this small victory, most nights DS is still waking very frequently every 1 or 2 hours from the time he goes down at 7pm until the time he wakes up. Fun for everyone. I have stopped nursing him down for all of his wakings, and DH is able to pat/bounce/walk him down for a lot of them quite quickly. I do nurse him about every 3 hours though just in case he's thirsty or hungry or really needs some comfort. It's all so tiring though.

This new thing of me leaving in the mornings and the fact that DS refuses to sleep in his crib when we are in the room is (sadly) making us consider moving DS to his own room. He seems to sleep better away from me and I know I sleep better when he's not constantly waking and nursing continuously. Just the 2-3 hours of solid sleep is making such a difference for me... I'm craving more. Maybe it's time for us to make some big changes. We would like to get DS sleeping in his crib by his 1st birthday, he's getting big and moves around a lot more than he used to. He wakes us up and we wake him up too.

Yes, it is SUPPOSED to be a phase that they go through and hopefully this is true.

LittleBirdy, my date I look forward to is his 1 year birthday. We're going on a long summer holiday starting around his birthday and I like to picture myself having a restful, relaxing vacation and SLEEPING AT NIGHT cuddled up with my husband next to me and DS sleeping happily in his own bed. Ahhh... a mama can dream can't she?

[SeattleRain]

We had a really rough time with the 4 month sleep regression, so when the 8 month one started, I had an action plan. My son also had a hard time settling down, singing and talking and crawling and whatnot. We used to be able to rock him to sleep and lay him in his crib, but lately he would just keep his eyes open. So one night my husband was exasperated and just laid him down in the crib. He sang and talked and crawled and stood up for probably 30 minutes pretty happily. He maybe whimpered a little bit. When he started to get really tired, he started to cry, so we went in and comforted him. Often we just have to lay h im back down in the crib and rub his back a little bit and he curls up and goes to sleep. Some nights we rock him in the rocking chair. But I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't be afraid to put your baby in the crib and let them wear themselves out a little bit, alone. My new motto is if he's not crying, he doesn't need me in the middle of the night. If he's crying, I go in and comfort him, but I don't just respond to every squak. Once I started to let him go down by himself at night, he stopped needing me so much in the middle of the night, because he got comfortable with puttin ghimself to sleep better.

[somegirl99]

Yup, we have 3-5 wakings per night, mostly just to nurse and go back to sleep (5-10 min), but sometimes he is gassy and we are up for quite some time.   He doesn't like side-lying nursing so I sit up to nurse him.

We start him out in the crib, but he gets terribly upset if he wakes up in the crib and it is dark in the room (too upset to nurse), so we cosleep the rest of the night.

I know at least some of his wakings are because he has to pee, but if I try to put him on the potty he gets even more upset (and doesn't want to nurse while on the potty).

When DH does try to help out it just seems to wake up DS more.

He's been teething non-stop since about 4 months it seems with 5 teeth now and more on the way.  I'm hoping when he has a break from teething he will do better.

Oh, and it looks like I may have to take a work trip in July so he'll have to manage without nighttime nursing then.

[LittleBirdy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by slgt 

We've been in this sleep regression since about 4.5 months...DD went right from the 4-month into this one, I guess. Teething, crawling, pulling up, walking, signing, talking - all of the above. I'm so damn tired, but it can't last forever, right?

Us, too.  I think we had 2 weeks of decent sleep at the end of the 4 month regression but that's about it!
 

Originally Posted by expat-mama 

LittleBirdy, my date I look forward to is his 1 year birthday. We're going on a long summer holiday starting around his birthday and I like to picture myself having a restful, relaxing vacation and SLEEPING AT NIGHT cuddled up with my husband next to me and DS sleeping happily in his own bed. Ahhh... a mama can dream can't she?

Wouldn't that be nice??  We are going on a very short vacation (2 days) the week before he turns 1.  I would so love to be able to put DS to bed at 7 and have three or 4 hours to hang out with my sister and brother-in-law... I only see them once a year.  I'm also sort of terrified... I know that his crappy sleep is not due to my inadequacies as a mother but I feel like I'm putting myself on display!  My sister hit the sleep jackpot with her kids - all three just naturally started STTN by 3 or 4 months and that was that (no CIO or anything, and they were all BF).  She is very sympathetic but not empathetic, you know?

Ah well expat, someday they'll sleep right?

[eh bien]

Count me in, if you haven't already. I'm honestly too tired to remember if I posted to this thread already or subscribed to it to read later. We co-sleep and DS nurses quite a bit through the night (wakes often). He's sick now with a cough so I know now is not the time for changes but I'm really starting to wonder if we'd all sleep better if he was in a crib. He wakes to most of my movements so when he is finally asleep and I'm trying to get settled, I often don't get a comfy position for fear of waking him, and I hardly get up to pee for the same reason. I love co-sleeping, but I really miss a good nights sleep. I'm trying to weigh these two issues. I'm just not sure what is best for DS at this point.

[neonalee]

I'll jump on the band wagon. Ds is driving me nuts with being unable to settle. Last week was the worst. It was so bad he was crying I was crying & no one was sleeping. This morning I woke around 2 because he was on hands & knees with his face about an inch from mine 'yelling' at me to wake up! It was definitely NOT funny at the time but now I'm laughing about it!

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[PatioGardener]

Just a quick note from some survivors! DS had awful sleep regression at 8 months, just before he started to crawl. Now at 12 months he sleeps very well at night, rousing only to nurse and pee.

There is hope! It is just a phase!

[expat-mama]

Yesterday afternoon DS developed a really high fever and we noticed he's got at least 2 new teeth coming in! He was so grumpy at bedtime that we gave him some tylenol and again about 4 hours later when we went to bed.

What resulted was nothing short of miraculous...DS slept in his crib all night, waking to nurse twice and going back to sleep in his crib! And then he woke up at 5 to nurse again and went back to sleep till 7! 

Does tylenol (actually Panadol here) make babies drowsy? I couldn't believe how well he slept. Seriously, he has NEVER slept like that before.

DH and I woke up feeling like real people and not just shells of our former selves hahaha. AND DS went down for his morning nap in his crib (this is a big achievement, him sleeping in his crib so easily) and I actually had the energy that I didn't have to sleep too! I actually got stuff done while he slept! And then didn't have to do it while he was awake and wanting my attention. What a wonderful day we are having- sleep makes such a HUGE difference in our lives.

Why is it just so hard???? Wishing I could just give DS panadol all the time! But of course I would never...

[ContentMama]

Ah! I was just getting ready to post a new thread titled 'Dr. Jekyl at night- help!' (Dr. Jekyl-that's me!) and seen this one that we are so fitting into! DS is getting ready to crawl, he is maneuvering, getting around and just shy of actually crawling on all 4's. Plus he's pulling up to standing and his 2 top teeth are bursting through.

STILL, at 2 or 3 am when he is just up, doesn't want to nurse back to sleep and is soo tired, I just DON'T have any patience! Does anybody else's baby do this?? My friends who I've talked with don't have this long wake up period in the middle of the night and I feel a bit alone and like a maniac! Honestly, my patience is zero in the night and I find myself yelling at him :( until I just leave the room to cool down. I am not sure what to do. He definitely sleeps better without me though he has been rolling over on his side even with me in the bed (he sleeps best this way). I start him off in the crib but inevitably he wakes up 2 or 3 times before I go to sleep and bring him in the bed. So it seems like a crib transition would be very difficult for us.

Maybe I need to look up some herbal pain relief options or possibly try some Tylenol. I know what he does during the day when in pain and this is not what he is doing in the middle of the night so I'm stumped if it's pain or not.

Oh, and the middle of the night "I'm awake" thing has been going on for months!

[expat-mama]

Originally Posted by ContentMama 

Honestly, my patience is zero in the night and I find myself yelling at him :( until I just leave the room to cool down. I am not sure what to do.

Hugs, Mama. This is me too. I hate it! I feel so guilty and awful and sorry in the morning! I'm not usually like this- I can't seem to find the patience at night, I just can't. It's all sooo tiring and it's been going on for sooo long- I just lose it.

I was telling DH the other day (trying to explain, because I felt so bad about the awful things I was saying in the night when DS kept waking) that I'm with DS all day being patient while he tries to eat/break/climb everything in sight and this I'm good at! I'm patient and loving and understanding for hours and hours and hours, all day. But at night, when it's dark and all I want to do is sleep and my brain is barely working I can't access the good mama in me. I turn into some kind of monster. I would never, ever, EVER hurt DS but sometimes at night I FEEL like I could. It's scary. And now that DS is really starting to understand what we say, I really need to stop telling him that I'm going to give him to the neighbours or pleading with him to shut up and just go to sleep. Oh my, just typing that I feel awful.

[Laurski]

Originally Posted by ContentMama 

STILL, at 2 or 3 am when he is just up, doesn't want to nurse back to sleep and is soo tired, I just DON'T have any patience! Does anybody else's baby do this?? My friends who I've talked with don't have this long wake up period in the middle of the night and I feel a bit alone and like a maniac! Honestly, my patience is zero in the night and I find myself yelling at him :( until I just leave the room to cool down. I am not sure what to do. He definitely sleeps better without me though he has been rolling over on his side even with me in the bed (he sleeps best this way). I start him off in the crib but inevitably he wakes up 2 or 3 times before I go to sleep and bring him in the bed. So it seems like a crib transition would be very difficult for us.

Yes, yes, yes!  That's DD right now too (I see she & your DS are a day apart in age!).  The past few nights she's been getting up anywhere from 11:30-3:30 and staying awake for 1.5 or so hours...and she's not happy or content during those times, either!  She'll nurse some then start will pull off and do this awful cry/screech thing, b/c she's so tired.  Over and over again, she latches, nurses, pulls off, screeches.  Then, when I give up on nursing her back to sleep, she's wide awake and will only stop crying if she's being held and walked around...sitting and rocking is *not* acceptable!

Glad to know I'm not alone...(and glad to read it is a phase...a horrible, awful, dear-god-will-it-ever-end phase!)

[Sfcmama]

Hang in there - it does get better!!! DD's "regression" was on and off for almost 4 months long and is already a distant memory, even though it was just a few months ago. At some point, and probably out of shear exhaustion, I stopped fighting it and did whatever it took to survive. I nursed as much as I could, slept in on the weekends when possible, lost my cool a few times and just trusted that it would get better - and it did! Without any effort or techniques or plans, dd is almost 15 months and back to a tolerable sleep schedule. She nurses 3-4 times a night (10-12hr of sleep) but barely wakes herself or me up so it's totally manageable for me (granted, I only work 10hr/week). For us, the major relief came once she started walking and her molars broke through. Before that, it was clear she was in pain or her body just couldn't completely settle. I say all of this knowing full well that I'm jinxing myself... ;0) hth!