Entering Law School Pregnant? Is it possible?

[keiral]

Hi, I'm 23. A month ago, I got into the law school of my dreams. I've wanted this since I was in junior high, maybe even elementary school. I was all geared up to move to a different province and embark on an amazing three-year journey when I found out two days ago that I was pregnant. I considered abortion, but I couldn't, in conscience, do such a thing. Now I'm wondering....

Should I go to law school (the due date is in January) and do one semester noticeably showing...and give the baby up for adoption (as my dad suggested)....or keep the baby, since I have a wonderfully supportive boyfriend, and delay my dreams for a few years? I'm not in a too-bad position. I just finished a degree. But I still live at home with my parents and I just don't feel ready at all to have a child. I didn't even want children till I was 30. But going through nine months of pregnancy and then giving it up for adoption? Could I really do that?

I'm just confused. Any input would be greatly appreciated.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Well, I had a baby my second year (Jan 10, 2009) of law school, kept the baby, and just found out that I passed the bar - as a single mom to a 2yo!

You can certainly go to law school and parent (I had several friends who did as well), it is very difficult, but also very do-able - especially with a supportive partner.

[Drummer's Wife]

If you do keep the baby, you wouldn't necessarily have to take too much time off (maybe even just a semester?), or, if you do take a year or two off, it might work out for the best in the long run b/c the legal field is hard to get a job in right now.  Stretching out the time until you graduate may be a good thing.  Any chance of deferring your spot?  What does your boyfriend have to say?

Best of luck making a decision. 

[Evergreen]

You have a lot to think about. I am starting law school in August and I am currently pregnant. The baby will be between 2-3 mos when I start and I know it's going to be really tough.

I started college pregnant when I was a teenager and I placed the baby for adoption- many years ago. It was the right decision in my case and I have never regretted it even though I still go through very sad phases when remembering the whole experience, One thing to remember is it has to be your choice not your dad's or anyone else's. 

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[t2009]

You've gotten some good advice above!

At first I was going to suggest that you see if you can postpone/defer for a year. Most law schools will allow a 1-year deferment without much question. But, you know, 1L is darn hard & it might just be in your best interest to have that one semester child-free to get used to the rigors of law school. I don't see being visibly pregnant as being a problem (lord knows your law profs & the law school know all about discrimination law so will know better than to treat you poorly or differently!). Then, if possible, you can choose whether or not you want to go back right away or take a semester off -- This would depend, too, on whether you choose to keep the baby, which (to echo what a PP said) is your choice & not your father's!

I took a semester off my 2L year to have my son & I really appreciated having that time to bond with him. But I also know of women who went right back successfully (more or less). Either way presents its own challenges.

My advice is to talk to your law school NOW to see what your options are. Also see if they can put you in touch with any other parent/mom law students -- it would be invaluable to talk to them to see what their experiences have been & to see what resources there are.

Good luck in all your decisions!

SuperSingleMama - Congrats!! I was just sworn in last week & it feels great to have it all behind us!

[keiral]

Well, thank you SO much for all you advice :) I'm definitely feeling less stresed these days! Taking your advice into mind and talking things out with my family and my boyfriend, I will be going ahead and going to school in September! Being pregnant is the easy part right? :) Then the boyfriend will join me once the baby is born and help me take care of it for the second semester. So yes, I'm also keeping it! The goal is to try and get through first year then defer for a semester or a year....or maybe even continue on! I need to go to see if its even something I enjoy/want to do otherwise I'll just wonder.

@t2009 - very good point about getting in touch with my law school! I'll most definitely do that :)

Anyway, thanks once again!

[Evergreen]

Good luck! You will be in my thoughts. Get in touch here via pm if you ever want to chat.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by t2009 

SuperSingleMama - Congrats!! I was just sworn in last week & it feels great to have it all behind us!

You got SWORN IN ALREADY????!!!!  CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!  Such a good feeling right?  I found out I passed NJ, so that ceremony should be soonish (next few months I hope!), but NY is going to take ages, hopefully before 2012.

OP - Congrats!!!!!  Also, talk to the Disabilities coordinator and get to know them.  At my school I was allowed to take my exams in a separate room (finals, not midterms, but some school's don't do midterms), and was able to sit or stand as I wanted to, and take as many bathroom breaks as I needed cause they gave me a bit of extra time.  I didn't think I would need that (my babe was due Jan 6th), but being 37weeks pregnant during exams meant that I just could not sit for the 3 or 4 hours straight that it would take to do a final.  So being able to stand really made a HUGE difference.  If you want to explore options like that, its the disabilities coordinator that you need to speak with, b/c even though pregnancy isn't a disability, thats the person who deals with making special accommodations.

GOOD LUCK!!!  Let me know if you have questions.

[puente]

All good advice!  I also wanted to add that folks at my law school took time off (a semester or a year) for all kinds of reasons and it wasn't a big deal.  My roommate took a year off because she wanted to work at Borders and live near her boyfriend and was never once asked about that time during interviews with firms.  I think your decision is awesome, and do consider taking time off.  It's better to take the time you need than get half way through the semester and suffer for it.  Good grades are important.  Doing the three years in a row isn't. 

[t2009]

Congrats on making those tough decisions, OP!! Sounds like you have a lot of support, so that is great! It's all definitely doable.
 

Originally Posted by Super~Single~Mama 

You got SWORN IN ALREADY????!!!!  CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!  Such a good feeling right?  I found out I passed NJ, so that ceremony should be soonish (next few months I hope!), but NY is going to take ages, hopefully before 2012.

OP - Congrats!!!!!  Also, talk to the Disabilities coordinator and get to know them.  At my school I was allowed to take my exams in a separate room (finals, not midterms, but some school's don't do midterms), and was able to sit or stand as I wanted to, and take as many bathroom breaks as I needed cause they gave me a bit of extra time.  I didn't think I would need that (my babe was due Jan 6th), but being 37weeks pregnant during exams meant that I just could not sit for the 3 or 4 hours straight that it would take to do a final.  So being able to stand really made a HUGE difference.  If you want to explore options like that, its the disabilities coordinator that you need to speak with, b/c even though pregnancy isn't a disability, thats the person who deals with making special accommodations.

GOOD LUCK!!!  Let me know if you have questions.

Super-Single-Mama, Yes! Sworn in... totally official! IL rocks in terms of speed & everything is done digitally... surprising to me for some reason. Congrats on NJ!! I am sure you passed NY too!

OP, I had a similar response from the disabilities coordinator at my school, too. The semester after I returned to school I was able to leave my 8-hour final (!) to take breaks to pump - I ended up only needing one, but they were really open to me taking as many as I needed.

Originally Posted by puente 

All good advice!  I also wanted to add that folks at my law school took time off (a semester or a year) for all kinds of reasons and it wasn't a big deal.  My roommate took a year off because she wanted to work at Borders and live near her boyfriend and was never once asked about that time during interviews with firms.  I think your decision is awesome, and do consider taking time off.  It's better to take the time you need than get half way through the semester and suffer for it.  Good grades are important.  Doing the three years in a row isn't. 

I also had friends take time off for different reasons & they had no problems, with either the school or finding jobs. I'll add, though, that when I interviewed, almost everyone asked me about my semester off. Most just gave me a quick "congrats" & moved on with the interview. But in one office I was probed by two different (male) interviewers about the semester I had taken off. They were jerks & I didn't want to work for them anyway () but you can run into some clueless/unscrupulous/crass/border-line-discriminatory interviewers. So when the time comes it's best to speak with your career adviser about how to handle questions that interviewers shouldn't but do ask (my approach was to just be bluntly honest & gauge by their reaction whether or not they were worth my time but that might not be your first choice...).

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by t2009 

I also had friends take time off for different reasons & they had no problems, with either the school or finding jobs. I'll add, though, that when I interviewed, almost everyone asked me about my semester off. Most just gave me a quick "congrats" & moved on with the interview. But in one office I was probed by two different (male) interviewers about the semester I had taken off. They were jerks & I didn't want to work for them anyway () but you can run into some clueless/unscrupulous/crass/border-line-discriminatory interviewers. So when the time comes it's best to speak with your career adviser about how to handle questions that interviewers shouldn't but do ask (my approach was to just be bluntly honest & gauge by their reaction whether or not they were worth my time but that might not be your first choice...).

I tell people that I had to take time off due to private family concerns.  I haven't gotten any poor responses, and no one has questioned further about it.  I don't even tell interviewers that I have a child until LONG after I've been hired and have started working.  Part of that is b/c I'm a single mom though, and I don't want employers to not hire me based on that.