Originally Posted by lilmom
LTB- I'm totally confused by you saying you had "wrong thoughts" acc. to the adopting board? Also, very glad you have been relaxing and sewing! I wish I knew how to sew, and also how to quilt. Those two are on my list of things to learn that are not yet accomplished. I can mend a hole or tear in clothing but that's it. Sounds like your fostering plan is right on track! Keep us posted! I was thinking to myself that it's been quiet because so many just graduated to DDCs and the ones of us that are left are too bitter to say much. I hope that's not really true, but it has been true for me.
lilmom... So sorry things are rough! I think almost everyone who has ttc for a while has some of these issues. At least it has definitely been true for me that it is not fun to have to be on a schedule. Then again, we do have great timing basically every cycle. Just does not do anything.
I think you may be right... I love it that people get out of here, but it also changes the thread a bit, esp. when someone who has earlier written a lot is no longer here.
About me causing trouble... I wrote something that some people had a hard time with and some seem to feel I should wish to debate the matter or, rather, change my opinion. However, my opinion was formed based on what the OP had decided to share in the first message. She later on added things in the thread but I could not get over how she had decided to introduce the topic. The thread is not exactly recommended reading for you ladies here, as it has to do partly with pregnancy. I realize that I am just not able to take things the way I used to. That is why I will never be able to join some of the threads here, including the DDCs. I have a hard time staying nice in some situations. (And I did not say anything terrible in that thread. Some people simply disagree with me strongly, and that is ok with me.)
It is getting too hot to sleep at our place, so we will soon escape to my family's the summer house. It will be nice.... It is little and peaceful, and dd has space to run around there. (We live in the outskirts of a city, normally.) It is also close enough that we can come home for the day whenever we feel like it, and far away enough that I have an excuse not to see any people I don't feel like seeing. There is one particular friend that just makes me feel like screaming... loudly. Wonderful people, but so painfully mainstream that it is awful to watch. Or maybe more 70's than current mainstream, no idea. I just can't stand it. They have the idea that it is normal for babies to cry and that's it. Just makes me want to throw up whenever I have to observe. Since they have the right to parent in whatever way they want, the issue is mine. I just want to stay away, but it is not that simple. Selfish reason to foster number 59 or something: When I am busy caring for a little one, I don't need to sit there and watch them. I must admit that I am hoping that my trying to answer a baby's cues will make them too embarrassed not to try at least a bit. Afterall, it should be a whole lot easier with their child than with the little ones that come and go.
Has anyone found that there has been a change in whom you consider close friends since before the infertility and now? I have one friend who is just amazing. We have a "therapy session" (talking for some hours in a cafe) every two or three months. We have been close for over ten years. I also have a friend with whom I was not close at all, who has now become one of the people I really like to get together with. Then there is one amazing friend whom I met only last year. The other friends, some of whom I had been really close with, I hardly talk to anymore. It has gone from us being super close to e-mailing twice a year. And, to be honest, I am quite ok with that, even if it is a bit sad. (One of these is someone that started to ttc the same time we did and now has a three year old. Her announcement of the pregnancy was about as difficult for me as could be. She told everyone else but me, then gathered a big group of people and had me react right in front of everyone, when it became obvious that she was pregnant and that everyone else knew. Since I had thought we were super close, that was a really bad day for me. I felt like she had only thought of what was easy for her, and had not cared enough to tell me. It really hurt. I realize that the reason she had not told me was the she knew it would hurt, so she chose the easy way out and had the group of friends discuss it in front of me, then saying "oh yeah, I guess you did not know." Things have not been the same since. Looking back, I wish I had lost it in some way, not just sit there and try to smile for her. I think a genuine reaction of hurt, anger and joy for her might have saved the relationship... or not...)
It seems I am having a negative morning. Too much time to think... I better start cleaning or something, again.