My almost-4 year old wants to nurse-- what to do?

[kms7z]

My elder son weaned at about 3 years old when his baby brother was about 4 months old.  Baby brother is now 13 months and still nurses very regularly.  My older son for some reason wants to start nursing again!  I have nursed him to sleep a few times in the past week. 

I indulged his request bc I didn't think he was quite serious about it, but it seems he is.  I don't really want him to start nursing again because it feels really intense-- like too much sensation-- like someone sticking their finger in my belly button.  also, i was ready for him to be done and i am a bit afraid he will say something to someone about it or at preschool (he'll be 4 next month).

on the other hand, i really want to soothe and mother him.  i am not sure why he wants to nurse all of a sudden-- maybe he is stressed about something?  i guess i have to re-wean him?

anyone been-there-done-that with this?

Kate

[T-man's Mama]

I only have the one son (25 months) so I may be dead wrong on this. But I was reading Naomi Aldort's book last night ("Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves") and she talks about how older siblings might not experience power struggles, rivalry, or anxiety with a new sibling right away, but that doesn't mean everything is wonderful. She said this can manifest itself later, once the new baby is around a year and becoming more independent . The older sibling may also suddenly realize by this point that the new baby is here to STAY, not just as a temporary plaything. Maybe that is some of what your son is experiencing? Perhaps he needs extra reassurance that you love him as intensely as the new baby, and nursing is probably a way to guarantee your one-on-one attention.

[Katie T]

My son did that at around 3 1/2yrs and his sister was around 18 months. He had weaned at 2yo. I too struggled with how I felt because weaning had been on his terms and was easy and I was worried it would be hard the second time around. For us he did it for a couple months and then as quickly as he started he was done and never asked again. Hope this makes you feel a little better although every child is different. 

[kms7z]

Katie-- thanks for that perspective.  Like you and your guy it was really easy for us the first time around too-  it was on his terms.  I'm hoping this is just a short phase!

T-Man's mama-- well we fit that age description quite well!  Things have been a bit hectic here-- we just got back from a 3 week trip to India that was not very smooth (visiting family) and my son had gotten sick there (had to be in the hospital one night for dehydration).  We brought my MIL back with us and I think her presence changes our household dynamic he could be reacting to that as well.