DTD painful...a bit graphic

[AFWife]

DS2 was born 4 months ago. Homebirth, zero complications, fast pushing stage, long labor, no tears, waterbirth. We're EBF right now. He nurses pretty frequently during the day and STTN (I know, I'm lucky...after my first, though, I consider it repayment lol)

When DH and I try to DTD it's fairly painful for me. Not in a dry kind of way...but like I feel bruised. It's not even bruised inside feeling. It's right at the opening to my vagina that hurts. Like, RIGHT at the opening. I have no real way to describe it other than that.

Is it still "early" after birth? Is it BFing related? Should I just chill out and count my blessings that we can even try at this point? (With DS1 it was still pretty painful 6+ months later)

Thanks in advance

[Bald_Bull's_Mama]

I had some discomfort for a long time after DS. Is it bad enough that is causes you to stop? If you continue, does it get better? Are you using a lubricant? I'd try adding some, even if it doesn't seem like dryness is the issue. Have you mentioned it to your care provider? I'd throw it out there, see if she has any thoughts.

[APToddlerMama]

Are you familiar with vaginismus?  Some women get it after giving birth...some have it early on.  The part about it hurting right at the entrance is what makes me think it could be that.  Basically what happens is that you tense the PC muscles enough that penetration is painful.  There isn't anything wrong with the anatomy, it is just that you may expect the pain, feel nervous or whatever, tense up that muscle, and then it is truly painful to pass through it.  If you think that is what it is, let me know and I can pm you some additional info. 

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by Bald_Bull's_Mama 

I had some discomfort for a long time after DS. Is it bad enough that is causes you to stop? If you continue, does it get better? Are you using a lubricant? I'd try adding some, even if it doesn't seem like dryness is the issue. Have you mentioned it to your care provider? I'd throw it out there, see if she has any thoughts.

Sometimes we're able to continue and yes sometimes it gets better...but at that point we've been "going" long enough that the rest of my vagina is tired so I only enjoy a couple of minutes of the entire thing.
 

Originally Posted by APToddlerMama 

Are you familiar with vaginismus?  Some women get it after giving birth...some have it early on.  The part about it hurting right at the entrance is what makes me think it could be that.  Basically what happens is that you tense the PC muscles enough that penetration is painful.  There isn't anything wrong with the anatomy, it is just that you may expect the pain, feel nervous or whatever, tense up that muscle, and then it is truly painful to pass through it.  If you think that is what it is, let me know and I can pm you some additional info. 

That's really interesting. I'll take any information at this point.

[mi_amor]

I experience this on occasion, even though DS is almost 3. And I did experience this before I had DS too. I would also like more info if possble. Sending you a PM. :)

[Jaimee]

Originally Posted by APToddlerMama 

Are you familiar with vaginismus? 

I had to use dilators to get pg with my first and pp I used them again (but for a much shorter period) before things felt better.  I also lent my dilators to a friend who had success with them as well.  However, I would also say I didn't feel back to normal until almost 2 years after my first and more like a year after my second!  It can just take a while.

[sosurreal09]

It took me at least 8 months for it to not hurt anymore. I did tare though.

[AFWife]

So, I looked up what you guys suggested AND IT SOUNDS JUST LIKE MY PROBLEM. Shortly after my husband and I got married I grabbed the wrong box of tampons at the store (I got the scented kind...why, dear Lord, is there a scented kind?) I had a horrible reaction to them...think rash everywhere the tampon touched. Yeah, it was terrible. After that I noticed that sex was uncomfortable but I blew it off as my body still healing...and it never really got better.

Fast forward 4 years and we go on and off again with sex being good, uncomfortable, or downright painful.

Thank you a million times! I'd never heard of this and when I mentioned painful sex to the doctor after DS1 I was told to "take it slow" and "use more lube" and given a birth control Rx (because birth control helps with lubrication....that's what she told me. I never took the stuff) She blamed BFing.

[Jaimee]

I'm glad that this info may be helpful to you!  Doctors, even gyn's are fairly clueless and insensitive when it comes to this.  Definitely do your own research and if you decide on dilators, I suggest going for the real deal and not trying candlesticks wrapped in saran wrap like TWO gyn's told me.  Humiliating.  Here's the site I ordered from: http://www.vaginismus.com/products/dilator_set

They are a bit pricey, but hey, if it fixes the problem, that's the same as a couple trips to the gyn and the cost of various prescriptions they would inevitably give you (creams, antibiotics for all the STD's that apparently cause this sort of problem... you know).  If you can't tell I've had a lot of horrible experiences dealing with this!  Anyway, good luck and I hope you find some answers!

[ecoteat]

The OP sounds so familiar to me. I had a lot of discomfort on my scar from the stitches. My MW wondered if it was a low-grade yeast infection that was making it worse, which I knew was bunk. It took a LONG time for things to feel good again, and there was one magic event that turned it from uncomfortable to fun--getting AF back. After my first cycle I felt like I had a whole new body and it was awesome. Have you gotten AF back?

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by ecoteat 

The OP sounds so familiar to me. I had a lot of discomfort on my scar from the stitches. My MW wondered if it was a low-grade yeast infection that was making it worse, which I knew was bunk. It took a LONG time for things to feel good again, and there was one magic event that turned it from uncomfortable to fun--getting AF back. After my first cycle I felt like I had a whole new body and it was awesome. Have you gotten AF back?

Not yet..but getting it back didn't help after my first pregnancy either. It took almost a year to feel normal again and then I got pregnant! So that went right out the window.

[penguintattoo]

I had the same problem after I had my dd, I went to the doctor and he gave me a numbing cream to use before dtd and it helped a lot. He said it was vestibulitis I believe.....Anyway it went away when I got AF back at 11mo pp. I'm interested to see what happens after this baby is born.

[mi_amor]

Vaginismus - I just wanted to thank the posters that talked about vaginismus. I've had this problem for 9 years and my doctor just told me it was mental and didn't provide further help.

I stumbled across the website of a doctor in Australia, Dr. Marek Jantos and I read the articles online. I am pleased to say I now very rarely experience discomfort!!! Just wanted to pass that info on in case anyone else suffers from painful sex. For me it used to feel like sharp shooting knives upon penetration, so DTD was something I dreaded. Now I understand what may have caused my brain to associate pain with sex and worked through that.

[Beccadoula]

Wow...shame on your doctor for putting it all in your head like that.  I've known of plenty of cases that got better over time and with a lot of patience but I'm so excited to have a website to share with people now!  I've had a client who had this severely...I think I'll send her a link.

[Urchin]

I am expecting my first child, but a few years back (I was 20) I noticed that sex NEVER felt good. I was lucky enough to be referred to a GYN who really knew her stuff.

I was diagnosed with vulvar vestibulitis. To test whether or not I had it, she simply touched the inside of my vulva with a q-tip and immediately I felt a burning sensation. That's a key sign.

 For me, the "cure" was to go off hormonal birth control, and to use an estridiol cream on the area. While I still occasionally get pain (i've noticed an increase since I got pregnant), it's NOTHING like it used to be. I can enjoy sex so much more now. It definitely sounds like our hormones make a difference in causing this problem.

Good luck!