@ Carrie- I cannot believe you are far enough to be thinking about your baby's position...where did that time go? How many weeks are you now? You know what's crazy, if I didn't miscarry, I'd be 17.5 weeks along already. That is just NUTS! Makes me realize how fast this pregnancy will fly by.
I'm super excited to be having morning sickness- it really kicked in this morning. Never had that last time so this must be a good sign!
yay Kinder!! You can HAVE it. I've been ravaged the past few weeks, but I'm 9/5 right now, and I think, at the risk of jinxing myself, that today may have been the first on the road to good days again. I hateeeeee morning sickness. I was so excited about it too, because it means the baby is really digging in and growing, but by now, I'd be good without the reminder. lol
It's hard for me to imagine paying at all for a birth, or any medical expenses, so I don't really have the same insight you guys do. Here everything to do with 'primary care' is covered. Any hospital stays, doctors visits, routine shots, casts, accidents, etc etc. It's only for ancillary type things-- massage, dental, vision, chiropractic, physio... those kind of things you pay out of pocket for, or can get additional insurance. But other than that for childbirth, the ONLY thing you pay for is if you want to pay extra to have a private room, or maybe to rent a tv in your room. That's it. Same with homebirth here, it's totally covered.
But I can see how if you've had good experience with the hospital, either firsthand or through visiting others, spending time there, etc etc, then the idea of a hospital birth seems absolutely fine when the alternative could cost you thousands of dollars. It's only really after you've had a bad experience that you start to see the value of $4000 of piece of mind, you know? But if you're lucky enough to have care providers/facilities who are good to mamas, then I can see how it wouldn't be as big of a deal. And heck, finances can hurt. Even the idea right now of hiring a doula for $500 hurts my brain, and while DH and I are not rich by any means, we -do- have the money in the bank for it. But anyways, the point is that it is always hard to put out money for something when there's a free alternative (or close to)... especially if that alternative has never done wrong by you.
BFS: Hopefully you'll be able to find some peace with this issue. It's such a hard one because the consequences either way can be very serious. It's one of the issues that DH gets a bit more say than I do, because he's actually contracted meningitis before, and gone through the spinal taps, and the headahces and all the pain, whereas I don't have that experience, just the knowledge and statistics. Sometimes it's hard to balance the two. I would definately push for the reswab though, and start there.
@ Carrie- I cannot believe you are far enough to be thinking about your baby's position...where did that time go? How many weeks are you now? You know what's crazy, if I didn't miscarry, I'd be 17.5 weeks along already. That is just NUTS! Makes me realize how fast this pregnancy will fly by.
I'm super excited to be having morning sickness- it really kicked in this morning. Never had that last time so this must be a good sign!
Yay for morning sickness!! I was miserable this pregnancy, seriously miserable, but always thankful that I had that reminder. And I'm TWENTY FIVE weeks today! Holy moly, yes it's going by fast.
It's hard for me to imagine paying at all for a birth, or any medical expenses, so I don't really have the same insight you guys do. Here everything to do with 'primary care' is covered. Any hospital stays, doctors visits, routine shots, casts, accidents, etc etc. It's only for ancillary type things-- massage, dental, vision, chiropractic, physio... those kind of things you pay out of pocket for, or can get additional insurance. But other than that for childbirth, the ONLY thing you pay for is if you want to pay extra to have a private room, or maybe to rent a tv in your room. That's it. Same with homebirth here, it's totally covered.
In a similar vein, it's really hard for me to imagine not being able to choose any provider for my medical care. True that for you everything is covered, but hearing about your struggles getting accepted by a midwife for a homebirth freaks me out. I love that, even though I have to pay for it, I can go online or ask around and choose ANY midwife or any doctor. While it might be covered a fraction by insurance (or not at all) I really like having that option.
And I agree with MW too, that money shouldn't be the ONLY thing keeping someone from homebirthing. I get it, I get that money is real and an issue, and if I couldn't afford my midwife's fee, I don't know what I would do. I'd probably set up a payment plan or something. And lets say I didn't have insurance, I'd rather work hard to pay off a couple thousand than the TENS of thousands a hospital visit would cost. Of course, you can never know if you'll just have one of those cases where a c-sec is truly necessary, and can't plan for that. But, just saying.
Money was an important factor with DS' birth; If we could have swung it, I would have birthed at the freestanding birth center, and perhaps not have ended up as a c-section . . . With this baby money, while an issue, is the least of it. I can't even find a midwife close enough to pay, did I have the money to do so, that will attend a VBAC. The only one I have found is in NC, which between prenatal visits and the birth, is just too far away. and since I do work, it isn't like I could choose to stay closer to her (I have friends and family nearby) when the time draws near. As it is, paying the doula will be a pinch for us. (DH isn't working; he is in school). If I already had a successful vaginal birth under my belt, so to speak, I would be far more comfortable attempting a UC. As it is, I would really like an extra pair of experienced eyes and hands.
I am thankful that I was spared extreme morning sickness. though lately brushing my teeth has become an issue - well, the back teeth - it makes me gag. why can't they invent a mouthwash that works as well as toothbrush? I still don't want to eat chicken . . .and it looks like that is on the menu for mother's day. It almost makes me want to skip it. (we do a potluck with the same family members we did Easter with; and there was chicken for Easter)
Kinder, yay for good strong signs!
I hope it looks good. I'm a little nervous about putting new wood next to wood that's 7 years old. We'll probably have to have it buffed and refinished before we sell, anyway, so hopefully that will even out any difference. Oh, and now I've lost my debit card so I can't return those Target clothes, which means I can't buy that changing table just yet. Aaargh!
did you purchase them with a gift card? or still have the receipt? either way, you should be able to return them and get store credit. (unless you really wanted the money to go on your debit card)
It is tempting . . . not sure what I'd bring. It's not that I am entirely opposed to chicken; I really want to make chicken enchiladas next week, but at least in something like that, the chicken is smothered in cheese and sauce and a bit less chicken-y. hmmm. I will think of something. It is bad enough that I am just not southern enough in my eating habits and pick around things as is (don't really like country style green beans, but I cook them for everyone else. or lima beans, or grits, or half a dozen other things that end up at these things. I do love me some potato salad, but can't live on that alone!)
When dad was in the service, and I was a dependent, we always did the full-fledged sort of care, we just went to the clinic at the NH; now eventually mom was able to get us to see a regular pediatrician (meaning, one that we saw regularly) but by that time I was in high school and really frustrated with them anyway. (telling me that DD boobs aren't enough to cause back pain, it must just be my weight, which at that point was a relatively reasonable 140 lbs - among other things). Though I recall mom deciding to see outside OB's for her last pregnancy, and not the NH doctors.
Honestly, DH and I have discussed it, and generally it would be cheaper for us to be uninsured. DS doesn't do well-visits as we don't vax (well, we did a few in the beginning - up to 4 months), and other than that we only use it for chiro and pregnancy stuff. If I could have homebirth, with a midwife, it would be cheaper than what I pay per year for family coverage. (which is in the neighborhood of $5k) what keeps us from doing it though is the thought of what if something truly catastrophic happens; especially with a child you just don't know. I am sure Gabe will have stitches and broken bones at some point. As rough and tumble as he is now at only a year and a half, it is bound to happen eventually.
it is a fine line. I would rather the goverment's energy be put to better maternity leave, etc than the healthcare stuff. but that is just me.
I should have provided more info when I was talking about the cost of homebirth vs hospital birth. For me, the other factor that played in to my decision was we only have one group of homebirth midwives in my town. I met with them at the beginning of my first pregnancy and I LOVED one midwife and really disliked the other one. They work as a team so both would be at my birth. I couldn't reconcile my idea of homebirth with having someone there with this really abrasive personality. Adding that to the fact that it would cost more than double and we are on a VERY tight budget, I just couldn't get there. I love homebirth. I support it when it makes sense. If I lived in a different area, perhaps like where my sister lives and I had to choose between going to a hospital that I knew would have unbearable rules and restrictions or dealing with an abrasive midwife, I would probably have come to a different decision. But I have access to a hospital that professes to use evidence based care. I've attended a birth there as a doula and seen how that evidence based care plays out. So far, I've had wonderful care from my OB and not felt slighted in the least. I'm happy with my decision to birth in a hospital. Did finances play a large role in the decision? Yes it did. But were there other factors as well? Yes indeed. I readily admit that I am very lucky to have access to a care provider that is willing to work in a more "midwife-type" fashion. He's the only OB in town that has a midwife on his staff. I'm also very lucky to have access to a progressive, forward thinking hospital. I know that unless it's medically indicated, I will not have to fight with anyone about having a hep-lock or an IV. I will be able to do as I please while in labor once I give them 20-30 mins on the monitor to get a baseline. Would it be wonderful to stay in my home and have my baby and not have to go anywhere? Yes probably but I also have four older stepkids that may or may not be home with us when I go in to labor. I may WANT to go somewhere different where I can focus and not have the noise and distraction that naturally occurs when they are home. For me, my personal goal when discussing labor and birth choices with other women is that they make an informed decision. Get all the facts, don't just go by what a care provider or someone else is telling you, educate yourself and then make a decision. If it's your own decision, then it should be honored, even if someone else doesn't agree with it.
Annie - I hear you!! I would probably make a similar choice given your circumstances. And trust me, if I lived with other people no WAY would I want to run the risk of laboring/having the baby @ home. I don't even want my MIL here watching Nora! I'm going to have her pick her up and take her to her house instead, lol!
AFM - had a pn appt this morning! Went well. Baby's hb was 148, and he's sort of transverse/breech still. Not worried about that @ only 25 weeks. We talked more about the genetic testing and she can use cord blood which is great -- I'd rather that than have to draw blood from my brand new baby! Talked about getting the fishy pool, the diabetes test next visit, etc. Pretty uneventful, really. Good. I like uneventful after the rollercoaster month I had!!
MW: those are very hard attitudes to deal with. Most of my IRL friends have no issues with CIO (though one couple I wish we saw more of cosleeps still with both of their children, almost age 4 and 1, and nursed both past a year), rarely BF past 6 months, and I think take their ped's parenting advice too seriously. (for me, doctors are for medical advice, not parenting - but that is just me). It is hard being with them and hearing them discuss sleep training methods, etc, as I didn't use any of that. I think you did the best you could, and really, I might consider either continuing to go to TKD so you can kind of live as an examle of crunchy-ness and show that it isn't odd to feed on demand, or past a year, or stop going if the attitudes grate on you (I am a non-confrontational sort, so I might choose to not go).
As for healthcare, I think one of the reasons it is the way it is, is because alot of people - me included - are horrible savers. I am plain not good at it. So we give our $$ to the insurance company hoping they would be better stewards of it than we would. - I work in disability insurance, and I hear alot from people who are like, if I just put aside the money I pay your company, I wouldn't have all these issues (like us needing employer and doctor statements of disability, etc). And I agree with them. If they had; but they chose not to, and therefore must abide by the terms of the policy. It seems really callous, but there it is.
Store credit anymore really means gift card, so you can use it online or in store. I think Target was just switching to the plastic cards when I went to work for them back in 1999. don't anymore, but I did like working for them.
I do mind seeing military doctors; I saw them mess up way too many times (not with us, but with friends) to be really ok with them. I know all doctors are bound to make mistakes some of the time, but I would rather be able to choose.
Yeah I think the insurance/out of pocket could probably be a fine line.
For us here, DH and I make about $60k right now. We pay about $10 in taxes each year. This is spread between things like employment insurance, pension plan, and general income tax. It's hard to really split it up into all the little things that income tax goes into though right? Because it's not just health care that we're paying for, you know? Quick google searches tell me 10% of income, or about 60% of the taxes you pay go to health care, but that doesn't match up with the pie chart I found stating what -other- ventures taxes go to (ie military, education, gov debt, etc etc).
It's hard to try to compare the two countries though because there's so many variables. Number of people in the household, how often you're using it, how prepared for emergency, and not to mention the actual delivery of the system.
Carrie is right-- it does scare me that we don't have better access to something like midwives. It's hard because the government keeps increasing funding, but we can't find midwives to fill the spots. At any given time there are at least three full time midwife postings up... just nobody applies. I's ad really
By myself, I make in the mid 30k's, and about 15% of my pay is federal and state income tax, and another 17% is insurance (medical, dental, vision). That is more than 30% of my check, gone, before I even see the rest. Just looking at the numbers now made me sort of depressed.
I hope I may have found a doula . . . she is actually the least expensive of the ones I have looked at online; had a primary c-section and a successful VBAC, and is studying to be a CPM, all of which sounds great for my situation (I am seriously considering studying to be a doula and then a midwife, if I can squeeze in the time somewhere) the crazy thing to me is, If I could be relatively successful as a doula, 4-5 clients a month would more than make up my take home pay. It's a thought. Waiting to hear back from her.
Just got back from an appt with my OB. I am really glad that I went in to see him because the report that the MFM OB sent over said everything was fine. That was so NOT what he told me at my appt on Friday so it was good to talk through things with my OB and figure some stuff out. The plan right now is that I start taking a baby aspirin every day, I need to drink at least a gallon of water a day and I absolutely need to not sleep on my back. He said that there's always mixed reviews about whether or not it's ok to sleep on your back and generally he doesn't think it's a big deal but in this situation, I don't need to do anything else that could potentially affect blood flow to Ava so I need to stay on my sides. The water and aspirin will help increase the blood that is available to go to Ava. I'll go back in two weeks and he wants to do an NST at that point to see how she's doing.
Then we wait for my next ultrasound at 32 weeks. At that point, if things are not looking good they will start me on steroids to get Ava ready for delivery. If we can wait until 34 weeks, then I can stay at my regular hospital and my OB can deliver her. If she needs to come early, then it will be a c-section and not an induction. I'm o.k. with that because he explained the reasoning. Basically, if she is already having issues with bloodflow and potentially stressed from that, introducing more stress and potential to restrict bloodflow through an induction would not be in her best interest.
So overall I'm glad that there are some things that I can do right away that could potentially help her.
I understand that a 16yo girl probably isn't going to be into breastfeeding, especially since she has to go to school, but the whole attitude that it's disgusting really got me angry.
Sigh. Kids are picky like that aren't they? DD does that all the time. If something is off just a tiny bit she refuses or throws it or throws a fit. Leaving the room is sometimes the best thing you can do!
Don't worry about the floor! Look at it with new eyes tomorrow. I'm sure it looks wonderful!! Take a picture if you want, I'll be honest with you. Double check it's the right one you ordered, sometimes mistakes happen and it might not be your fault!
Hugs on the emo front. I hear you. I have days like that, and it's all I can do to keep myself together.
Don't let the anti-bf'ing brigade bring you down. You just nurse your babies and teach them that it's normal. Someday they will be wonderfully supportive husbands and fathers to their breastfeeding wives and daughters. It will be amazing, you'll see.
Annie - that's GREAT news about your results. A gallon of water a day is super tough -- I had to do that for a few days and it was about all I could do! I was barely eating b/c my tummy was so full of liquids! So start early in the day. That way too you won't be up all night peeing.
Katrina - good luck with the doula!
AFUs - I make basically nothing (like maybe $100-$200 a weekend) but DH makes about $90k before taxes. He also has stocks and stuff and other incentives that I really don't know anything about. I have no idea what they take out for insurance, though, either. I'll ask him. He's in charge of money and stuff, I'm just in charge of pushing the baby out when it comes to paying for the midwife. LOL.
MW: It was the MFM doc that told me there was a problem. He does all the ultrasounds if you are delivering at my hospital. I'm a little annoyed at him because he didn't communicate in the chart that he sent back to my OB the things that he told me. I know that there is a problem though because I saw the umbilical cord sound waves that he kept measuring over and over and in my research this past weekend, my sound waves looked exactly like the examples of abnormal sound waves rather than the normal sound waves.
Baby_Cakes: I agree, it's a lot of water. My plan is to drink a liter on my way to work (30 min drive), drink 2 liters during the day at work and then drink a liter on the way home. That way I'm done by 6ish and shouldn't be up all night peeing!
Oh and MW, I think it's just the part of pregnancy that we're in. I am SUPER emotional too for no apparent reason right now!
Oh great, if more emotion is what I have in store, I'm screwed. I was listening to an angsty angry taylor swift song on the bus yesterday and totally teared up. It was ridiculous. I'm noticing more of that though-- things that aren't even sad, and I'm all teary. it's a tad embarassing. Don't worry bus people, I'm fine, just hormonal...
Annie: Can you get a second opinion?
MW: I use cloth wipes but just wet them in the sink. Maybe you could fill a thermos with warm water to keep with you?
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