Should I let my family buy me a crib?

[tank]

I am a first timer not due till Oct/Nov.  I have always wanted to cosleep.  My partner also wants to cosleep.  First my mom told me she wanted to buy me a crib because I shouldn't get a used one.  I told her I was cosleeping and we came to the agreement that she would get me an arms reach cosleeper.  I know that a lot of people get these and don't use them but she is getting it from a friend who used it only a few times and at a smaller price.  So we may or may not use it.  I realize that and accept to just take things as they come.

Now my dad and his partner want to buy me a crib.  I told him we are going to cosleep and he is a little more against it than my mom was.  He wants to buy me a crib anyway because I will eventually need one. 

Here is the deal.  I know I really want to cosleep but of course I don't really know how it will go down for us.  We have a very tall bed that we can't change.  We rent and the bed is permantly in the bedroom.  Also, our new child probably won't even have it's own room for a while.  We have a 2 bedroom but don't really see the need for setting up a nursery in a rental house that we probably won't even use.  So where would we put this crib anyway.  What if we don't even end up using it?  That would be such a waste.  I might rather them buy me something I will definatly use like a carseat or a breastpump.  Then if I wanted a crib later on I could always get one.  I am also not opposed to getting a used one as long is it isn't a drop side or recalled.

On the other hand maybe we will use it and it will save us the time and money of buying one later on.  Maybe it will just make them happier and feel more secure if we have one and hey, it wil be free for us.  I just don't know what to do.  Should I just let them buy us one or should I try to convince them that they should buy us something more useful.  What would you do?

[HeliMom]

Will you have room to sidcar the crib up to your bed? If so I'd take it and do just that!

[tank]

I'm not sure.  Can you do that with a bed that is really high up?  I would be willing to do that if it is possible.  Good suggestion.

[MSWmama]

Where do you plan to have the baby nap? We also cosleep, but use the crib for napping, as well as that time between baby's bedtime and our bedtime. I know some other cosleeping parents use the cosleeper, mom and dad's bed, a mattress on the floor, the baby swing, etc, but it's something to think about. We really "push" the crib during those times because our LO will soon be spending a couple of days a week at daycare, and they have to put him down for naps in a crib because of licensing / space issues. He's 6 months and is just now "getting it", so you'd have time to buy a crib later if you feel like you'd want something like a breast pump sooner.  Also, congratulations on your new baby! 

[cyclamen]

We also did not get a crib, and have never really regretted it. DD is still sleeping in bed with us at almost 2 years.  (But we had the bed on the floor for a good ten months.)   However, if you can sidecar the crib, and especially if your bed is not a king size bed, that is actually a very nice cosleeping setup.  Also, you can sell the crib.  I know a lot of people who have done this.  In retrospect, I should probably have let the shopping aunt who loves buying stuff buy us a crib, then I could have sold it... and gotten a big sheepskin pad for our bed!  With baby stuff, especially when the baby is young...people will buy you whatever they want, and you can sell it or return it.  I think most people will understand that not everyhting gets used, etc. 

[Mama Metis]

We're cosleeping, and family also bought us a crib, as well as a pack n' play (a portable crib). We're side-carring the crib to our bed and using the pack n'play downstairs for naps, at least during the newborn phase. When we travel, we can also use the pack n' play for naps (or for night sleep in set-ups that aren't safe for cosleeping.)

[Birdie B.]

It can be a good idea, and if you have room for it I would get one.  We have a crib that turns into a toddler bed, which our 2 year old is now in, so even though we didn't use the crib a whole lot, it's handy now that she's bigger and ready for her own space.

[greenmulberry]

We co sleep, and we have a nice crib. Ours turns into a toddler bed, so maybe it will be her nighttime bed one day if she wants it.

I would get it if you have the space. It's nice to have a very safe place to set the baby if you need too urgently for some reason.

We change our baby in the crib, and I use it as a nice place to give her some diaper free time while watching her mobile. I can hear her gooing at the animals in her mobile while I go to the bathroom or make some food. So she doesn't sleep in it, but she does like to hang out in there a bit during the day.

[CraftyMcGluestick]

Like others who have posted here, we are also co-sleepers who have a crib. The first three months of our son's life, he used it never. But OMG I don't know what we'd do without it now! He became mobile pretty early on (crawling/scooting at 4 mos) and leaving him on the bed for naps was not safe (we also have an unavoidably super high bed) but he no longer wanted to be in his swing. The crib was the answer. Also, I am a work from home mom and we have a nanny who comes during the day so the crib is a nice place for her to lay our son down without feeling like she's in our bed. Also, as my mom would say, a crib is a good place to put a baby when you've got chicken to fry! I can put Andrew there if I'm by myself and need to go to the bathroom or get dressed. I know he will be safe until I get back. Also, ours turns into a toddler bed, so he may use it further as an older kid. Who knows? All that said, my sister has 3 kids ages 8 to 1 and she's never had one. I like ours and have found it useful, but if you truly don't want one (even just for the charade of keeping peace with well-meaning, but judgey family members, I'd say ask if you can have a pump instead. Incidentally, we got a nice plain crib from Ikea and I think it was almost exactly the same price as my Medela pump!

[tank]

thanks for all the opinions.  they are very helpful.  I will probably just let them get me one because I might actually end up using it afterall.  We aren't super tight on space so it can't hurt to have the option I guess.

[chel]

Well I'll speak up for the on crib people.

Had bassinet for dd1 and never used it. Never had anything for dd2. Once crawling I got an exerciser. Great in that I can put dd down when cooking. Also use when doing yard work.

No regrets.

[Shaki]

We never had a crib for DD1 and now for DS we still don't have one. I've never felt like i was missing something. When it was time for DD to have her own bed we put a full mattress on the floor of her bedroom, which worked great and we plan to do the same for DS. DS can go in bouncy seat, swing, etc if i need to set him down somewhere. Having said that, i'm not anti-crib or anything. Just wanted to say if you don't plan on using one don't feel like you HAVE to get one. :)

[howeberry]

Originally Posted by CraftyMcGluestick 

even just for the charade of keeping peace with well-meaning, but judgey family members

DS is 5 mo and this is the only reason we're considering setting up our hand-me-down crib and purchasing a mattress.
Our cradle's primarily been slept in by the cat or used as pillow storage.

[newmamalizzy]

Originally Posted by howeberry 

DS is 5 mo and this is the only reason we're considering setting up our hand-me-down crib and purchasing a mattress.
Our cradle's primarily been slept in by the cat or used as pillow storage.

We have a $400 cat bed, too!  But there was a several month long period where DD slept better in the crib than in bed with us - co-sleeping isn't ALWAYS the best way for everyone to sleep.  It's nice to have options when/if sleep problems arise.  If you DO allow them to get you a crib, try for a good-quality convertible so you won't feel like anyone's money was wasted.
 

[somamama]

DS is 5 mos next week and we've been using an Arm's Reach mini co-sleeper since day 1 (got it basically brand new off Craigslist for $40). He spends the first part of the night in the co-sleeper then after his first nursing I usually leave him in bed with me. We already had a changing table/dresser but last weekend we set up the rest of a bedroom for DS including a crib. So far he's only taken one nap but I've gotten a lot of use out of it as a landing pad when I need to do something else, like change/fold laundry (we CD), make breakfast/coffee or even take a shower.

[EviesMom]

If he really wants to buy you a crib, I would suggest getting one that can be used as a toddler bed and maybe even one that transitions to a headboard and footboard for a twin bed. If you use it as a crib, that will be great, but if you never feel the need for it, you won't worry about wasting money on a crib because you'll certainly want to use it as a bed for a toddler or older child. 

That said, I went crib-less with one child, which was fine, but found a crib useful for the other child, as a place for naps, and eventually as a toddler bed. It's nice to have.

[*Katherine*]

Originally Posted by EviesMom 

"If he really wants to buy you a crib, I would suggest getting one that can be used as a toddler bed and maybe even one that transitions to a headboard and footboard for a twin bed. If you use it as a crib, that will be great, but if you never feel the need for it, you won't worry about wasting money on a crib because you'll certainly want to use it as a bed for a toddler or older child. "

This.

We were also bought a fancy crib. I never used it in crib form... for any of my 3 kids.  But as the youngest grew older she slept in the toddler position for a year (serious independent post weaned 4 year spirit) . Now I still have the darn thing, all ready to reposition into the "full size" bed it can be converted into... I'm glad I still have it..

[kylaskye]

They have pretty good quality cribs that will convert to a toddler or a full size bed when the time comes. (All you have to do is change the mattress.)

I'd ask for one of those, so even if you don't end up using it as a crib, you might get some use out of it eventually.

[new2this]

The crib we got is a 4 in 1. The intention was it would grow with DD, however she will be getting her own bed when she gets out of the crib since we have one on the way. We co slept for the first 4/5 months she was in bed with us for the first 2/3 months but it was no longer working she wasn't sleeping and we found she slept much better and peacfully in her own bed. So she was in our room but in a pack n play. I still brought her to bed for night time feedings but as soon as she unlatched she woke up and went back to the pack n play. Like you our bed is really high so we couldn't do a side car or anything like that safely. She is now in her own room and in the crib because she also stopped sleeping good in our room. It took a while to figure it all out so for us I am glad we got the crib because of how things turned out. And this baby will in our room and we will probably just transition them to the crib after DD is out of it. But who knows. 

[isabchi]

First baby had a Co-sleeper, a crib and a pack-n-play. She never like for more tha couple minutes. Just for collect dust and clutter. Second baby, not had any of this stuff by choice. We'll rader ask for some high quality os baby slings, a nice convertible car seat or a storkke high chair.If you end up needing a crib, you can get lightly used one for little money in craigslist.