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how do you deal with the hatred/being excluded?

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

hi... my dh is deployed and i'm on my own with my 2 lil ones. my is age..is fully vaxed for his age and my dd has had one vax which seemed to screw her immune system up so no more for at least awhile. so i feel bad for injected so much into my lil guy without looking into it and on top of that i am getting alot of negative comments from family for not vaxing my dd, alot of hatred online ( f*** people who don't vax their kids, hope they die type of thing) and we've been kicked out of our local breastfeeding support group that we've been going to since my son was born (which i could use right now) i guess i'm just looking for support and advice on how to not let it get to me. i just want whats best for my kids!


sorry for the ramble, thanks for reading

post #2 of 7

hug2.gif hugs mama. Im sorry you are feeling this way. It is always hard when you make a choice that is not considered "mainstream".


I used to feel pretty bad sometimes, but I remind myself that only I know what is best for my child and I have researched this topic for 7 years (long before I was ever a mom) and I know what I'm doing for my child in our circumstances is the right thing at this moment in time. It is easy for single minded people to make blanket statements about parents who make different choices than they do when they don't know you, they don't your child or his health circumstances or your family circumstances as it pertains to risk vs benefit. They just see it as a black and white situation with no grey area.


I also don't share DS's vax status with just anyone. Perhaps you should be more choosey with who you share your child's medical info with. The breast feeding group for example - it's none of their beeswax frankly. Hang in there and remember why you have made the choices that you have and screw those people who don't respect you for doing what you think is best for your family.

post #3 of 7

I hope you feel better soon.hug.gif


The only advice I can really give is to not let these people bother you or influence you in any way. The reason being is that people who think those who choose not to vaccinate should die have obviously not done their research and are completely in the dark about vaccinations. Because anyone in their right mind, if they have researched vaccines at all, would be able to understand why people would not want to vaccinate their children, knowing full well the potential side effects of them, etc. People really need to give other people room to make their own decisions without adding their 2 cents worth, and if they don't, well, see ya!  I would stay as far away from those people as possible and go to places where you can get support from people who feel the way you do. smile.gif


Be confident in your decision, because it's your family and no one else's. O On You Onl


(Ignore the letters....Weird things happening with post again.)


post #4 of 7

I wish I had some sage advice, your experiences are pretty much exactly why I NEVER post on facebook or something about DD's vax status and I don't discuss it with ANYONE really. Not even family. I don't go around asking them about their vax status and I don't expect them to ask me. When I have been asked I am very vague about it unless I feel comfortable or ready for a fight...

post #5 of 7
Originally Posted by rebecca_n View Post

we've been kicked out of our local breastfeeding support group that we've been going to since my son was born (which i could use right now)

sorry for the ramble, thanks for reading

jaw2.gifReally?  I mean.....really?  If this is La Leche League, raise Cain about it because that is not an official policy of the organization.


What I find so sad is that they are willing to risk depriving a wee babe of breastfeeding and all of its lifesaving benefits.  They're basically punishing your baby for your decision.  By their rationale, shouldn't they be HELPING your poor, unvaxed baby build an immune system with breast milk??  UGH!  It's the same thing that I say about pediatricians who deny children preventative care in order to punish their parents for non-compliance with vaxes.  People in both scenarios believe that vaccines are more important than children.  Sad.  shake.gif 

post #6 of 7

grouphug.gif oh I know how you feel.  I had to deal with my parents and my husband's parents, although it wasn't too bad.  I'm so glad I learned then to not share ANYTHING regarding ds's health status.  Vaccinations seem like such a black/white issue with no room in between for most people.  I steer clear of the issue even if it comes up with people around me - although it's soooo hard because I so much want to debate every time it does come up...lol. 

post #7 of 7
Thread Starter 

they dont have any llli meetings in my area, the breastfeeding group is sponsored by the hospital but not held there. we were really close to the  lady who runs it (she was at my homebirth a few months ago but...,.. argh lol kids callng. try to write more later

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