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help me feel confident

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 

Hi mamas! 

This is my first post on mothering.com. I have a 17 month old daughter who was born at home and has never been vaccinated. Vaccinating seems to be a CONSTANT dilemma for me and I can't seem to stay confident in any one choice. I do not want to vaccinate because of all the stuff you girls already know about; but I also do not want my child to come down with a deadly/debilitating illness. My worry is that dd will come in to contact with something such as polio and have her life permanently altered....all because of MY fears. 


My husband tells me it is 'my decision' because I am the one who researches everything. But what if MY decision ends up harming our child? I wish there was a right or wrong answer for me. I hate that I know so much about vaccines....I wish I could 'trust' that everything will be okay. But really, I feel that I am just gambling no matter what choice I make.


Just feeling lost and confused....wanting some advice



post #2 of 6

hola.gif paige! welcome to MDC :)


I know exactly how you feel. I have been right there and at times still feel that way from time to time. All I can tell you is what I do.


I started researching vaccines well before i was married or become a mother. I had an aquaintances baby die of SIDS 14 days after her DTaP shot. The mom always thought it was the vaccine (only 1 given on that day as they were wary of the vaccines in the first place). The docs and medical community denied the vaccine could have played any role. I used to be one of those people who thought parents that did not vaccinate their kids were crazy whacked out child abusers - now Im one of them!


Anyway I always knew from what I learned years ago that when i had kids, I would not vaccinate them. Then I had a baby and I started questioning everything Id learned and bascially releanred everything and came to the same conclusion.


You says you don't want your child to come down with a VPD and be disabled yet you don't want your child harmed by vaccines. Of course no parent whats either of these scenarios no matter what they ultimately choose to do. However, the thinking that your child will be crippiled by a VPD if they are not vaccinated ia not a logical one. The chances of your child getting polio living in this country is slim to none. Are you aware that even when polio was rampant here, 95 % of infections were asymptomatic. Less than 1% of cases resulted in any kind of permamnet paraylsis. You must conduct a risk/benefit analysis for each vaccine and apply it to your personal circumstances. For me I found the risk of the vaccines outweighed any potential benefit. Does that mean that my child is not at rik at all? No being alive is a risk - and all we can do at the end of the day is protect our children the best we can with the info we have. There are no guanantees either way. Sucks but that's the way it is!


I hope you can make peace with your choice and feel good about it at least most of the time. As a parent, just keep researching and weighing the costs vs the benefits. You can change your mind at any time you know! Good luck!

post #3 of 6

I have the same thoughts as you.  I originally thought that I would vax my child; however, as I did research I found myself questioning whether or not to vax.  My son (3) had one vaccine (Hep B right after he was born).  I thought perhaps we would do selective vaxing, but I find it very difficult to bring myself to get any further vaccines. 


I worry that if I do not get him vaccinated then he will contract something and have horrible side effects, or worse.  guilty.gif   I then start looking at the possible effects of vaccines and I worry about what could happen if I do get them.  It is a horrible no-win situation.   


I am worried about him getting Measles right now, but I do not want to react in fear.  I also don't want to have something happen to him and then it be my fault.  My husband does have input, and I am glad because I cannot image having the entire decision be based solely on my thoughts.  I wish I didn't feel this way and I wish I could be 100% completely confident in my decision, but I am far from it. 

post #4 of 6

You've researched vaccines enough to be afraid of them.


Now you need to research the diseases enough so that you're not afraid of them.


Here's the CDC's Pink Book.



You'll see in the chapter on polio that there hasn't been a case in the U.S. since 1979, other than the cases caused by the live virus oral polio vaccine, which is no longer given in the U.S. You'll also read that fewer than 1% of polio infections result in paralysis, and many of those cases recover completely.

post #5 of 6

It's hard being a parent sometimes (well, all the time actuallysmile.gif).  I know how you are feeling.


The immune system is in so much better shape to fight off illness/disease when it is not continously being exposed to viruses (via vaccines) over and over again, along with everything else that comes along with vaccines, the toxins, etc. (sounds like you are well aware of what's in them already so I don't need to explain that). Our bodies weren't made to be exposed to so many viruses (or toxins) at one time, especially a baby's body and especially when their immune systems aren't even fully developed yet.  It's so unnatural.  I think just knowing that you are giving your child's immune system a chance to actually develop without knocking it down time after time and causing such assault to their tiny systems will help you feel more confident that they are actually healthier this way and the immune system will be fully functional when necessary.

post #6 of 6

I am glad to read this thread. I struggle with this often.  Our first is selectively vaxed (minus varicella, rotavirus, and the MMR, as well as any after-2 boosters), our second is partially vaxed (exempting the same, plus missing several "boosters") and our third is completely unvaxed. She is 11 months old. DH just finished chiropractic school and is completely against vaccination, but I would still like our kids to get some of them.  But we're moving to Virginia, where there is only religious (and medical) exemption, so it's become an all-or-nothing thing.  Since even I am not willing to do all (my own research has produced too many doubts about the safety) it looks like we're about to become an non-vaxing family.  And I worry about it all the time! (especially now that our oldest will be ready to start school)  But I need to not fear. The risks of vaxing (for us) definitely outweigh the risks of non-vaxing.  And I just need to continue to research, so I stay  confident about our decision!  Thankfully our family is supportive, at least enough to not give us any flack...

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