My two-year-old is a nursing fanatic -- please help!

[T-man's Mama]

He is 25 months old. Just to get the obvious questions out of the way: I stay at home (actually work from home part-time, but am always available to him), I'm not pregnant, and he is an only child.

He wants to nurse ALL THE TIME. It is really starting to get to me. We almost missed a playdate today because he wanted to nurse for the fourth time in two hours and I was trying to get us ready to leave. He comes into my bed around 6 am and we snuggle for a couple hours before getting up. He nurses on and off this whole time, then we nurse again before getting out of bed. On mornings when it's just the two of us, he will request to nurse a few more times before ten am. At some point I get so touched out, and tired of it, that I start telling him "not right now" and offer him food/ water. This morning, for example, he ate one crouton for breakfast. Then he wanted to nurse nurse nurse. After the third time, I started saying no, kept offering food and water, and thus ensued a 45 minute tantrum.

I don't want to wean him entirely, but the obsession with nursing is driving me (and my husband) mad. Any advice on how to slow it down?

[D_McG]

I would say to be less afraid of the tantrums. They'll come. He's 2 - it's his job. And your job IMO is to protect your body and mind and help him learn new coping skills.

With both of mine when they got like that it was my cue to start setting up a predictable schedule for nursing. That way we both knew when we'd nurse next and our 'new' life could grow. The first days were rough. Lots of tantrums. But with distraction, routine and just dealing with the drama we got through it and we better for it.

So, that's my perspective. There are other approaches too (such as let him nurse as much as he wants and trust that you are meeting his needs and he'll grow out of it). Someone from that camp should chime in soon

[Katie T]

My almost 3yo would nurse all day if I let her. But I have house work and the like to get done. I find that if I am sitting she is nursing so when I am feeling touched out I tell her hop up (and she is hanging onto the nipple for dear life and will fuss a bit at times) and go on with what I need to get done. There are some days it does not bug me and she gets a lot of nursing time and others that we are really busy and it is better. She is just a high needs nurser but thankfully I have found something that works and you will to. 

Things to try-

getting up when you are feeling done if he is better about not bugging you to nurse when you are on your feet.

reading books

running him a bath to play in

snacks/drinks (which you tried : (  )

play dough

outside time

[T-man's Mama]

I like your idea of setting up a predictable nursing schedule. What does that look like? We finally night weaned in December and he is very good at saying "Bye-bye mommy!" at night after our final nursing, and understanding that for what it is. (Of course his daddy is in there with him so it's that much easier to relinquish me. But still, shows me that he's emotionally capable of doing so.)  I usually try to just roll with his demands, because it's easier and I like to think he has a very good reason for the neediness, whether it's emotional or physical (still getting his cuspids in). So I DO happily nurse him most of the time, but I'd say about 10-15% of the time I just can't stand it, or am too busy, and have to flat-out refuse.

Originally Posted by D_McG 

With both of mine when they got like that it was my cue to start setting up a predictable schedule for nursing. That way we both knew when we'd nurse next and our 'new' life could grow. The first days were rough. Lots of tantrums. But with distraction, routine and just dealing with the drama we got through it and we better for it.
 

[T-man's Mama]

Thanks for the great suggestions, Katie. I have noticed that I can distract him with some physical games lately (he's turning into quite the energetic toddler!).
 

Originally Posted by Katie T 

My almost 3yo would nurse all day if I let her. But I have house work and the like to get done. I find that if I am sitting she is nursing so when I am feeling touched out I tell her hop up (and she is hanging onto the nipple for dear life and will fuss a bit at times) and go on with what I need to get done. There are some days it does not bug me and she gets a lot of nursing time and others that we are really busy and it is better. She is just a high needs nurser but thankfully I have found something that works and you will to. 

Things to try-

getting up when you are feeling done if he is better about not bugging you to nurse when you are on your feet.

reading books

running him a bath to play in

snacks/drinks (which you tried : (  )

play dough

outside time

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by T-man's Mama 

I like your idea of setting up a predictable nursing schedule. What does that look like?

I think the first iteration was after we got out of bed, before nap, in the afternoon sometimes and before bed!