I can't even go to the store!!

[kdescalzi]

Hi mamas,

My 4yrd ds seems to be going through some crazy separation anxiety. He literally has panic attacks when I try to leave the house. I work only 6 hours a week over 2 days....this is nothing new. He gets to stay with his grandma who he is super close with. Now even at preschool which is only 2 hours, he flips out. Is this normal? Anyone else have a preschooler that has done this before. I don't see why he is so scared for me to leave. Please help....the other day I actually called in sick to work because I just couldn't leave him in the state he was in!

[D_McG]

Does he have any other issues/delays? What does he say when you talk to him about it?

[4evermom]

My ds wouldn't let me out of his sight for months after we tried putting him in preschool.  But I'm assuming your ds has been in preschool all year and that that is nothing new.  Can he tell you what he's afraid of or worried about?  

[kdescalzi]

Hi mamas,

No, ds has no delays or anything like that. He is extremely bright and intelligent. He has been going to preschool since September. He just keeps saying he doesn't want to be without me. He tells his teachers he just loves me so much and wants to play with me. He doesn't seem afraid of anything other then separation from me. I know we are very closely bonded, but I have to make up some pretty strategic fibs to get out the door ever. Last week, my mom had to physically restrain him while I left for work. It was heartbreaking but he was fine after I left. Is this normal? It doesn't seem like it.

[D_McG]

DS hasn't gone through it but I guess has come up with other irrational fears sometimes. With him you have to just push, reward, push, reward. Letting him grow out of it or whatever just seems to reinforce it? IDK. I wish I had better advice.

[luv my 2 sweeties]

Is he fine after you leave at preschool also?  If he is fairly consistently getting over his upset very soon after you depart, then I would vote for treating it as a stage and changing as little about your routine as possible.  Put up a brave front that you are confident in his ability to separate for a short time, and be sure to spend a little extra time with him at other times of the day for a while.  (Because maybe he does need a little more of you right now, but everyone's needs have to be considered, including yours to work, etc.)  Preschoolers get strange fears into their heads sometimes.  It's seldom lasting or serious.  If it's a normal stage, then I would be careful not to "feed" it too much.  Your confidence in him will help him a lot.

All that said, if he's remaining upset for a long time after you leave, that might be a different story.  There might be excessive anxiety or something that needs to be more directly addressed. 

In any case, I hope it passes quickly!  It's so heartbreaking to see your child upset when you leave.  :o(

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by luv my 2 sweeties 

I would be careful not to "feed" it too much.  Your confidence in him will help him a lot.

This bears repeating!

[kdescalzi]

Thanks so much for your replies. Yes, he seems to be fine after I leave. I agree that I should be confident and take it as a passing stage. Thanks for the great replies