My almost 4yo is bothering everyone

[MarineWife]

He's very high energy, always moving and talking. He drains all of my energy. I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. I thought this would be a good day. I actually had about an hour or so to myself before the kids got up, which was nice. After only a half hour of my 3yo being up I was exhausted by his constant talking, questions and moving/climbing all over the place.

It seems as if he does things to purposely annoy his 7yo brother. An example from today is that he insisted on sitting in the same chair as his older brother even though he was asked to move repeatedly. He refused to move. There was another chair plus a couch for him to sit in. He stayed in the chair with his brother, stretching himself out all over it. I had to physically move him to another chair and block him from going back to where his brother was.

Bedtime is horrible because he will not settle down. He jumps and runs and bounces all over the room. The other night he found a ball and repeatedly threw it in the bedroom after being asked not to throw the ball in the house (in addition to be told on several other occasions not to throw balls in the house). Again, I had to take the ball away and put it up where he couldn't get it. He just won't stop when someone asks him to. He won't be distracted. He refuses to do something different.

This is relatively new behavior. He's always been high energy but wasn't purposely bothersome before. He was also more cooperative when asked to do or not do things before. Everyone is annoyed or angry with him every day. I need help!

[philomom]

A good preschool and more outdoor time would be my starting points with him. Then look at his diet. Some kids are more hyper with sugar and food dyes. Good luck.

[SoulJourney]

I'm experiencing the same issues with my 5 1/2 yo so I feel your pain! We are vegan and our diet consists of little processed foods (whole foods based diet), NO artificial flavors/dyes/etc, and very little processed sugar. I think that DS's activity level has just increased exponentially...beyond what I've been capable of handling lately. We try to get outside as much as possible but I will take him for 6 mile round trip bike rides to the playground and he STILL had the energy but it helps. I, too, would evaluate diet and activity levels as a first step.

[D_McG]

Does he get enough sleep? Is he in preschool? My DS can get like that when he's bored and/or tired. He NEEDS (DS) 12 hours sleep a night.

[jessica_s]

Originally Posted by D_McG 

Does he get enough sleep? Is he in preschool? My DS can get like that when he's bored and/or tired. He NEEDS (DS) 12 hours sleep a night.

Yes! I've found that my DS needs a minimum of 11 hours (he's 4.5) to not be a full on mean kid during the day. He's high energy no matter what but he listens better and is able to focus more when he's got enough sleep. 

He sounds like your DS though - most of the time he's very hard to parent. I can imagine if he had an older sibling they would probably have a hard time getting along! 

[nextcommercial]

He does purposely annoy his brother.  Even very little kids learn how to push the sibling's buttons.   It's fun.. it's powerful, and it's fairly easy to do.  

Can you look into a summer program at the city, or swimming lessons or anything to wear him out?  If he's really worn out, he might sleep better which makes everybody's day go better.

The high energy kids really need a high energy activity.  When he's older martial arts will help him learn discipline, but he still needs some sort of fast rowdy activity.... even if it's just a giant play area where he can climb and jump.

[mommytimes2]

I am having similar issues with my DD, who is also 4.5 years. I know that she needs more of an outlet for her energy than she is getting right now, so we are starting her in pre-school soon and other fun classes/activities for the summer. She is just bouncing off the walls lately, and getting too much negative attention from us. Sleep is a really big issue for her too, and getting her to go to bed is difficult to say the least. Also, her relationship with her dad is strained right now. As soon as he walks in the door, she won't stop trying to order him around, yells at him, won't listen at all... I think the differences in our parenting styles has caused difficulties for her (me=firm, him=passive/permissive). Transitions are really difficult for her anyway. I am sure a lot of this is normal for the age. Of course, my own parents wouldn't have tolerated any of this kind of behavior from my brother or I, and we would have definitely gotten spankings. I think of that a lot. As difficult as this stage is, I am so happy I made the decision to avoid causing her that kind of trauma (which I still grapple with). Anyhow, just know you are not alone with this!! I guess my advice would be provide some good outlets for all of that energy!