Originally Posted by berry987
I Random relatives still comment that I was the most gorgeous child they'd ever seen. But, I quickly turned into an awkward preteen (like VERY awkward - braces with hair that was out of control and 20 lbs of extra weight) a
When one of my DDs was little, every time we left the house we got constant comments about her looks -- she's has thick auburn naturally curly hair, big blue eyes, and dimples. She's 12 now and in braces and has some zits! She's still pretty, even with all that, and she's going to be a knock out in a couple of years when she gets through this stage, but awkwardness is part of the game.
Originally Posted by Lynn08
I'm looking for the balance. I grew up with a mother who rarely complimented me, and always made it seem that being even slightly attractive was evil. So it's not that I don't want to acknowledge it at all. I just don't want it to become the basis of her self-identity
I guess it's just bothering me because she's made several comments today about how pretty she is if she was and asking me if I think she's beautiful.
Yeah, I want balance too. I think it's OK to enjoy our bodies and like how we look.
It reminds of the play "our town." There's this great scene when teenage girl asks her mom if she's pretty. The mom says something like "all my kids have good features. I'd be ashamed if they didn't." And the daughter says, "but am I pretty?"
I think every little girl wants her mom to tell her she's pretty, and to really mean it. I think we all want our mommies to see our beauty.
And yet none of us wants to be loved or valued for it. We want the people closest to us to see past that, to our true selves. I think even small children feel this way. "Notice how wonderful my outsides are, but don't get confused and think that matters more than who I really am."