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It's A Girl!! Trying to be happy with Annoying bf symptoms and his family, HELP

post #1 of 8
Thread Starter 

You all may not know by now, but I'm pregnant with my first child and i'm 18 years old. The babys father and I are still together. I'm 22 weeks, and yesterday was my doc appointment for the ultrasound. The day started out pretty rocky, with him being irritated. With that aside, he wanted a boy, I a girl. And we soon found out the baby is a healthy little girljoy.gif. He was a little bumed but he says hes excited. Good or not i'm not sure... here lately he hasn't been showing me much emotion which is very tough for me. So as my day went on he takes me to college and drops me off for the day and he comes to pick me up about 20 mins late. Which puts on a little edge. But i dont let that ruin my mood, I mean I had just gotten another A on an exam and Hello, I'm having a girl joy.gifjoy.gif. So i start to tell him about my day and hes sitting there and doesnt say a word no congrats on the test babe or i knew you could do it, all he says was you better. Joking or not I have no idea. I've just been really frusrated, because of his werid no emotions almost, which is lasting for about a week or two now. So later on i tell his meddling sister that the babys

a Girl, and all she says was well we all wanted a boy but i guess she'll do. WTF and later i talked to my bf about if he told his mother about her granddaughter, and all she has to say is i guess the same thing, he tells me that she said she wanted a boy. I dont understand why his side of the family isn't happy. I know or so i'm told, girls are more to handle, but girls are not that bad. I helped my mom raise my little sister so i know a little bit of what i'm talking about

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post #2 of 8

Congratulations stork-girl.gif on your baby girl! 

 

You are a strong woman, and I am proud of you for staying in school and getting excellent grades while being pregnant! That takes a lot of strength and courage to carry on with making good long-term life decisions, especially when you are not being well supported but the ones closest to you. You are already showing your little girl what a woman is capable of!

 

I would not focus on your BF's family's opinion on the sex of your baby. The reality is that your BF's "contribution" decided what the baby's sex would be. winky.gif People often make generalizations about which sex is easier to raise. Everyone seems to have their own opinions about it. But, they are just that; opinions.

 

One thing that I may suggest is to take time (a few minutes) at the beginning and end of each day to focus on that amazing, blossoming life within you. I lay or sit with my eyes closed and my hands on my belly. I turn my mind off to all other cares and meditate of the sweet, gentle, perfect person that is forming within. It helps me to feel connected and grateful regardless of what other stressors may be surrounding me.

 

Are you able to talk honestly with your BF about how you feel? I think that some partners have a hard time connecting with their unborn children. Has he been able to feel the baby move yet? Did he get to watch the ultrasound? Sometimes those things can help make it more "real" to them and sometimes they don't, unfortunately. 

 

Peace and love to you in this challenging time goodvibes.gif.

post #3 of 8

What the heck.  That's just not nice!    I agree, you are doing an amazing job balancing pregnancy and staying in school.  I guess one thing you can take from the BF's family's reaction is that maybe this isn't so much HIS opinion as what his family wants/has imprinted on him.  

 

post #4 of 8

congratulations on your daughter!  i am with the other ladies--you are doing an amazing job already, and i really admire you for that.  i wouldn't worry too much about BF and his family.  once he, and they, meet that little girl, they will forget all about how they wanted a boy.  especially BF...there is something very special about daddies and their little girls.  i don't blame you at all for being upset, but they will get over it, and if they continue to make an issue of it, calmly let them know that really bothers you and you don't want to hear about it anymore.  and just feel grateful for that perfect little girl you are growing!

post #5 of 8

I'm sorry everyone (especially your bf) reacted the way they did. They (or at least HE) will forget about it once he sees baby girl. Definitely if anything else is said, let them know that it hurts your feelings and to please not talk like that anymore.

post #6 of 8

Congratulations!!! Sorry his family and he are being such jerks.

 

On the bright side, if they are like this and you were having a boy, I bet they would do major interfering once the baby is here. I would start to put some distance between you and them. People like that tend to make awful relatives. 

post #7 of 8
Thread Starter 

Thank you all, it's really nice to hear some positive feed back. School is stressful enough, and no one seems to realize the pressure i've been having with that alone. ON top of being pregnant, i'm not saying me being pregnant is bad, its just so hard to be and feel happy about it with all this negativity around me.

 

post #8 of 8

Aww, hun, I totally understand.  I might be 31 (almost) this time around but I was 18 when I got pregnant with my son and 19 when he was born.  It's HARD being pregnant at that age, not physically, but emotionally.  What I realized was that it wasn't even my emotions that were the problem, it was everyone around me.  People act weird when you are pregnant young and instead of getting the normal congrats and excitement that goes along with a more socially acceptable pregnancy you get a lot of awkward responses.  Then those responses make you (well, they did me at least) feel awkward about the pregnancy.  The worst part for me was, after the initial shock, I was really excited about being pregnant but it's hard to celebrate when no one else around you is.

 

Thankfully for me my BF's aunt was awesome and sent me a subscription to Mothering.  I also found some online communities and celebrated with those women.  Plus I found as time went on people adjusted and once my son was born everyone fell in love with him anyway and it was all good.  Well, not to say that I didn't still get comments and looks from strangers, heck I get people still asking if my kids are my siblings, but I learned to just take it in stride.  You'll do that also and in the meantime come here to celebrate whatever you need to.  We'll all be excited for you!

 

BTW, Congrats on the baby girl!!!

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