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The point of college? - Page 5

post #81 of 133


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa1970 View Post


No, she is not. I am considering taking her to a psychologist because she has been having big issues..... So I am really wonder what is going on and considering sending her to a psychologist. It is just that from our experience, there are year long waiting lists for psychologists so it is going to be a while before she can even get an initial appointment. 



 


What about taking her to a counselor or therapist? Some one with a master's degree or PhD in psychology rather than an MD?

 

I'm personally a big fan of talk therapy. Meds are appropriate in some cases, but I would try talk therapy first. It shouldn't take any time at all to get her in. In my city, so many people have had to drop counseling because of the economy that most therapist have empty slots.

 

If I were you, I'd start making calls and ask a few questions. I'd ask what experience they have with teen girls and what their general approach is.  I also ask about their religion and how they feel that effects this sort of work, but that's more of a judgment call. I've been in and out therapy forever (I'm a survivor of child abuse) and the person is really important than the credentials. One of my favorite counselors had a master's in social work. It is also my experience that if a counselor sees someone and feels that they need to get into a psychiatrist,  they can make it happen really fast.

 

If money is part of the issue, I'd check into free or reduce fee services in your city. Because the trigger incident was sexual, she may qualify through some sort of agency that deals with survivors of crime. Some of these do not require police reports or anything like that. Many have lots of experience with young women who cannot remember what "happy" feels like. It doesn't hurt to call and ask.

 

I'm very sorry for what your DD is going through. I remember your post from the time this was going on.

 

And with everything else going on with her, I think that telling her to follow her bliss would be good advice. She deserves to be happy. From what the others are saying, if she get into Julliard, it will be paid for and she will get work afterward, so those things aren't the concerns you thought they were.

 

She deserves to be happy.

 

Peace

 

post #82 of 133

I've only read about halfway through the third page, but I wanted to post now, before I lose my train of thought. 

 

Before high school, I was always one of the brightest students in the class. By high school(way bigger school, no longer the brightest in the school, but somewhere near the top), and whenever I had the option, I took honors classes (including college level anthropology classes), AP classes, AP tests without actually taking the AP corresponding AP course, and classes at the community college which the school district paid for.

 

End of high school, I started to realize that there was no point in wasting all of my energy in school. I stopped doing the work in the classes that handed out busywork, or other required classes that I wasn't at all interested in. I didn't bother applying to any colleges, I didn't really WANT to go to college. I didn't WANT a career. I was planning on going, just because I was expected to, but I would have rather been a SAHW/M. So, I got married after graduating, and took a couple more semesters at the community college before deciding I was done with school. I was interested in psych, and anthro, and language, but I didn't have any need for a degree, since I wasn't planning to work, and wasn't really interested in working in those fields. After having my son, I realized that I wanted to work with pregnant women, I wanted to work as a midwife. So, now, with a 2-year old, I am back in school, at the same community college, and I don't regret not going to school pre-kids, because I really didn't know what I wanted to do, and it would have been a huge waste of money. For me, it's way better than spending excessive amounts of money(and energy) to figure out what you want to "do with your life." 

 

I'm also grateful that I WILL NOT take on debt to go to school (and thus, have none). 

 

I'll add in that I thought I was good at music, and loved it, and my parent's thought I rocked eyesroll.gif oh, how blind they were, I was constantly getting yelled at by teachers for making mistakes. There was a point though, where I thought I could get into Julliard. Then there were other points where I wanted to be a doctor, chemist, teacher, psychologist, field anthropologist, and what have you. 

 

 

DH, on the other hand, hasn't been able to finish college yet, and he's having trouble passing his classes. He is working full time at a stressful low-ish income job. I feel bad for him, and I'm seriously considering finishing school as fast as I can, and getting a job so I can support the family, and DH can stay home with DS. DH is trying to leave his current job, but is having trouble finding another job, because he doesn't have a degree. Most jobs out there do want a degree.

 

 

and, re: scholarships, I have seen some scholarships out there for kids as young as 8, so don't wait to look for them. Most scholarships start around middle/high school, but even then, when I was in high school, looking for scholarships as a junior, there were so many scholarships that I wasn't eligible for..... because I was too old!

 

eta: (finished reading) It would really suck to be sent to a camp that you didn't want to go to. I've gone to summer camps that I DID want to go to, only to find out that I really didn't want to be there, and spend an entire week miserable. I could only imagine what it would be like to go to a camp that you DIDN'T want to be at. If you want to try to broaden her horizons, why not try classes of some sort(through a community center, school district, or community college?), or day camps?

 

re: mental health: I'm really sorry you're all going through this (((hugs))) I agree with pps on finding a good counselor (and yes, personality IS everything) they usually have no problems fitting you in to see someone "more qualified" if you need to. Another option would be going to the emergency room if you're having an urgency -- if you absolutely can't get in to see a therapist on your own, know that this is an option. Also, what about her school counselor? Usually they are there not only for academic issues, but for whatever else the student needs to talk about too.


Edited by Amatullah0 - 5/6/11 at 9:28pm
post #83 of 133
I only read the first page of posts, but I wanted to jump in and say that I have a Bachelor of Music and I am now a regular education teacher. I reached a point after graduating where I seriously considered whether I wanted a musician's lifestyle and I realized the answer was no. HOWEVER...my bachelor's degree opened many opportunities for me, and in fact made me interesting and marketable to employers. Plus, getting a music degree requires studies in music theory (VERY math-based) and musicians often have strengths in science and math as well. When I realized that I wanted to be a teacher, I did have to go get my Master's degree in order to get certified, but so would anybody who wanted to switch fields after college. And who really knows what they want with their life in college? My music degree is probably what got me interviews as a teacher, and believe me, it's tough to get a job as a teacher. If you support her in what she loves, she will arrive at her decisions on her own...at least that's what happened with me. Good luck! smile.gif
post #84 of 133

Here's my experience from when I was a kid in that position, FWIW...

 

I wanted to major in Fine Art, but I was also really good at Math and numbers... my Dad was really upset that I didn't pursue Math and went for Art instead. He made a big deal about it and I put my foot down and rebelled, declaring Fine Art my major. I took a few math classes and REALLY liked them, even considered switching my major, but thought since I had made such a big deal out of standing up to my Dad, I'd better stick to my guns and keep at it with Art rather than admit he was wrong. I was a really stubborn kid and eventually ended up dropping out because I was so conflicted, despite making good grades. I ended up getting a job as a customer service rep for a small loan company, and one job after another ended up in financial analysis, getting laid off, not being able to compete in my field without a degree, and finally going back to school for Economics... where I am now: 38 years old, baby on the way and halfway through my BS in Econ.

 

My thoughts: Don't make a big deal of it, encourage her to go to a university that has a wide range of academics (possibly one that has a wide variety of degree requirements so she's exposed to a bunch of different potential majors) and to pursue her passion... whatever it is.

post #85 of 133

First off, hug2.gif to the OP and your DD.  I've read through the posts and I'm so sorry she had to go through that at her old school.  I totally agree  with counseling, I hope she can find someone that she feels comfortable with. 

 

I also agree with the PP who said if anything at this time she needs support for whatever she might want to do.  She's still really young and I'd definitely suggest NOT sending her PSAT scores anywhere quite yet.  While I was a very good student, did great on the ACT etc but bombed the PSAT.  whistling.gif I knew well before the results came out and happily had them removed from my transcript.  If she does well, include them! But it doesn't hurt to see what they are first. winky.gif

 

One thing I would suggest is having her look into other schools too simply do to the chance that she won't get in.  If you're worried about costs, why not look abroad?  There are some WONDERFUL universities in Europe that are free.  I know that might seem really far but it's something to consider at the very least.  Also, the summer camp in music sounds like a great idea because then she'll probably get a more realistic view of where she stands talent-wise (and seems like it would help her a lot more get into Julliard). 

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

As to the question of the worth of college, I'll say this.  I feel one part of my role as a parent is to help DD find her passion whatever that may be.  If that means she wants to go to med school we'll support her, if she wants to be a painter we'll support her, if she wants to be plumber I'll support her too (and help her to get whatever training/education she needs to do so).  What I won't support is apathy and waisting good opportunities.  I'd much prefer for her to delay college and mess around for a few years until she decides what she wants to do than pay for her to go to school right away and not enjoy her experience. 

 

Granted, we have a unique situation, we live abroad so the University that we have available here is wonderful AND free. thumb.gif So it seems like there isn't much to lose encouraging DD to attend.  What I would love to see, though, is more support for other trades.  Germany does this to SOME extent and it helps that you have things like free public health care and public universities so you can afford to take lower paying jobs.  However, there program is far from perfect, one that forces 10/11 year olds to decide what they want to do with their lives is just not very realistic.  Add to that the problems of discrimination and lack of advocacy from foreign and/or non-German speaking parents and you have some problems with that system too. 

 

I have a relative who has no business ever going to college.  Realistic he just does not have that sort of skill set and should've been encourage to enter some sort of trade that would have given him valuable skills.  Instead he's well over middle age  and has never held a long-term job.  Certainly, many don't NEED college and the push for putting all students into it comes at a price.  It lowers the value of a degree and forces some beyond what the realistically can do (I'm NOT saying everyone who didn't go to college/didn't finish can't hack it, that's certainly NOT the case but there are some who should be encourage to find other interests).

 

Personally, I loved my time at college.  I got to travel the world during that time, I could choose from a wealth of classes that I enjoyed (even though some were pretty pointless in the long run lol.gif), and had a degree that allowed me to go to grad school, which led me to my current job.  I work in the exact same area I wanted to since I was in HS (for better or for worse winky.gif).  I have a good job that pays well and has wonderfully flexible hours.  I went to a liberal arts school and it was FUN and I'd definitely give that experience to DD if she wanted it. Realistically, an IT school would've been better for my jobwise  but I loved my experience and wouldn't give that up (oh, and it was entirely free... no debt, so I can't complain much!).   I will say, though, that I went to school that allowed for a lot of creativity and flexibility.  It sounds like some here who responded went to more rigid schools or ones that were a bad fit for their personality and I think that can play a significant role in how positive a person's experience was or not. 

 

Oh, and like I said above.  There ARE definite ways to go to college without going into debt.  I'm living breathing proof of that and I studied in the US.  I think I'd also encourage others to look at schools abroad and scholarships. 

post #86 of 133

For teens I think it's a good idea to give them a foundation in reality.  I tell my teen that a woman who can earn a living for herself and her family is empowered to weather any storm life sends her way -- she may fall, but will land on her feet.   I want my girl to know enough about reality to select a good path for  herself, and be enabled to change paths when she sees that it's smart to do so.  I don't want her locked in by circumstances.

 

"Reality" includes a thorough grounding in the cost of living, so this summer my daughter and I are going to price out the necessities of life: rentals in our city, and utilities; wardrobe expenses; cars, gas, insurance, and maintenance; college costs: tuition, food, books at in and out of state colleges; and we are going to look at career paths and what she can expect to earn with and without a degree and in a variety of different career fields.  We are going to make a project out of it, so that she has the information to make good decisions her senior year. 

 

It's not about money so much as the freedom to make wise and informed choices.  A teen who wants to major in the arts should spend time with people who make their living that way -- most have "regular" jobs that pay the bills while they pursue their art nights and weekends.  That's reality.  It's true of musicians, artists, those in drama, fashion, dance, and many fields.  Many scientists and university researchers live from grant to grant.  Writing  proposals is essential.  That's their reality.  They live with that insecurity.

 

My Dad always said you can pursue your dream, but simultaneously prepare a down-to-Earth Plan B.   Music and math.  Archeology and geology.  Medieval literature and languages.   That way there is a stronger foundation and a broader set of opportunities. 

 

 

post #87 of 133

I have just a few thoughts.  College was a great time of self discovery for me.  I went right out of high school and finished in 3 years, took a year off and went to grad school. (didn't finish that).  If your DD loves music and can get into a music program then by all means let her go.  As for financial aid there are many  many sources of FA, some from the school, some from private sources, some from public sources.  Not all FA is tied to music, some is merit based, some you just apply for and write an essay type of thing. But there is a ton of FA dollars out there.

 

As for summer camp, summer camp is meant to be fun.  let her choose where to go.

 

Finally IDK where in TX you are or what your insurance is but there shouldn't be that long of a wait for mental health. (someone isn't giving you the full story)

 

One last thing, some careers that come to mind that involve music: writing music, playing in an orchestra/band, theater, teaching adults, working in a museum, teaching music history, owning a music store/lessons, working on radio,   i'm sure there are many may more.

post #88 of 133

IMO, a bachlor's is the new hs diploma and a master's degree the new bachelor's. I say this coming from a slightly different perspective because I currently live outside of the US and here everyone who goes to university gets the equiv of a US Masters. My bachelors (plus 7 years of experience in the sector) is not worth all that much here.

 

I think that many employers want to see a bachelor's degree because it can demonstrate commitment and some may think maturity. I am not saying this is always the case, just can give that impression.  College can offer specified training and skills in the area of the major. At least that is the point as I see it. To give a solid (although often theoretical) background in a particular area.

 

I think going to some kind of training after hs is important and useful in most cases, culinary school, hotel school, etc. Obviously there are people who are very motivated at 18 and start their own business or have a really clear idea of what they want AND the opportunity to obtain it. But not everyone. If a kid is unsure, a sabbatical year is not a bad thing, provided they do something other than sit around on facebook (there are a few young adults in my french class who are au pairs here and the will start uni in the fall).

 

post #89 of 133

 

I haven't read all 5 pages, but I suspect others have covered what I would want to say about the value of university education. I believe it can have great benefits, including:

 

-developing intellect,

-expanding world views,

-starting a network for career opportunities,

-providing a supported and gradual move into adult responsibilities (dorm life with on-campus medical centre and counseling services, employment support, etc. is a pretty easy half-step into independence),    

-job or professional training

 

It isn't the only way or even the best way (for some people) to achieve these benefits. I'll bet there's been a good discussion in pp about it, so I won't go into detail. 

 

Regarding music and science, she doesn't have to choose between them. Daniel Levitin is a former professional musician and recording industry producer who does fascinating work in cognitive neuroscience on how the brain interprets music. I would give her copies of his books and let her decide for herself what she wants to study: This is Your Brain on Music and The World in Six Songs. There is a lot of work to be done in this field, as well as evolutionary biology, anthropology, sociology, psychology and probably a half-dozen other specialities. 

 

FWIW, my DS is graduating from a performing arts high school where he majored in music. Many of his classmates are not studying music in university. They are trying lots of other areas - humanities, engineering, business, psychology, and natural medicine, among others. DS has my support for whatever he decides to study. I think he wants to tour with his band for a gap year before he attends uni. It provokes no end of anxiety for me, but I'd rather he try it and have no regrets than spend the year unhappy and inattentive in class, and possibly wasting a year's tuition.  DS considered audio engineering, which is a fairly strong field and may interest your DD if she wants to combine a love of math and physics and music. Good luck to her. 

 

 

 

 

post #90 of 133
Two quick thoughts:
My babysitter is majoring in music therapy and it seems like a really interesting field with a lot of job prospects. She works with a lot of diverse populations: kids, the elderly, the disabled. Seems like a useful degree for someon who is interested in music.

The point of college: 1. to enter/stay part of the middle class. 2. To obtain specialized knowledge/licensing/credentials

I am very conflicted in my feelings about college. It is expensive and in many ways it can be a waste of time and money, but when you are done you have a recognized societal stamp of approval that allows you to apply for a wide variety of jobs. I think expensive private liberal arts colleges are generally a waste of money and produce graduates who are lacking in life skills and saddled with debt.
post #91 of 133

Haven't read any replies yet. My son is majoring in Music Composition. His goal is to carry on to a doctorate and teach at a college/university/conservatory level while composing. If that doesn't work out for some reason, he will also be gaining a solid general education and will be able to work in any number of fields. He could stay with music and go into Music Therapy, teach on a primary/secondary level, teach privately, work in a different field altogether, etc.

 

My daughter intends to major in Bio or a related field, with an eye towards Vet school or going into sport medicine or training.

 

I went to college, and got a degree in ChemEng. I worked for many years as a Tech Writer, and now work retail. My brother? BS in ElecEng - he's now a day trader. Going to college for a "career" doesn't ensure that's what you'll do for the rest of your life. I prefer to view college as a time to further your education, expand your horizons and your mind, and find out about yourself in ways you may not otherwise be able to.

post #92 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa1970 View Post

With the PSATs in the fall, they have to put down, I think, a selection of colleges to send their scores to. I know they can add more later (for an extra cost) so I wanted the to at least think about colleges and maybe places they might want to look at closer. They have gotten a lot of college materials in the mail this year. My son has a very reasonable college with a variety of majors available. My daughter only wants to apply to Julliard. She is very smart and makes good grades, but Julliard is a hard one to get in to. Plus, if she goes there and decides later she does not want to major in music, she will sort of be out of luck.


She should research other conservatory options. The good ones are all tough to get into. What instrument does she play? That can make a huge difference. WHat grade is she in? Does she have a private instructor? What summer camp(s) is she interested in (although it is already quite late for the good ones, I hate to tell you)?

 

Feel free to PM me if you want (or if she wants) more info. My son applied to Curtis, MSM, Berklee & Boyer. He's currently at Boyer, which he is very happy with. A conservatory attached to a university has the added advantage of allowing for a change in major if she changes her mind.

 

post #93 of 133

5 pages already, but this is one of my favorite subjects. My own college experience was less than stellar.  My daughter is 16 y.o. and contemplating her college future. 
 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lisa1970 View Post I used to think it would be nice to go to college and just major in what a person is really interested in, even if it is social history of the American Colonial period. But in reality, if you spend a lot of money on college, it should probably be a major that you can move toward a job in. But I also heard on a financial show the other day, that any major is better than no college or delaying college. That many careers are not major specific so in many cases, it does not really matter what you major in, you just need that degree.

 

My husband is finding that any college is better than no college.  He has an AA in electronic engineering.  Through his smarts and hard work that AA took him to a $90,000-plus middle management job. He can be proud of himself.  He's decided he likes the career trajectory he's on, wants to move higher up in management.  It's very notable to him that HR is picking people with Bachelor degrees (or more) including a guy with a degree in music (timpani) from Berklee College of Music.  Even though he has more experience in the field, and believes himself to be the better candidate.

 

I am asking because my two older children say they want to major in computer science (my son) and music (my daughter). I worry because my daughter says she does not want to teach, but loves music so she wants to major in it. If she says she does not want to teach or work with children in any way (she said that too) what can she possibly do with a degree and music? I am picturing us spending a bunch of money on college and/or her having a bunch of student loans, only to have her move back home and work a minimum wage job to try to pay back those loans. 

 

So, I am really interested in opinions and ideas and personal experiences. Thanks!


Heh. Your son's plan definitely seems more practical. I really believe people should NOT go to college unless they're sincerely, truly interested in their area of study.  Like, they actually enjoy it.  I messed around with a journalism degree for 2 years before I figured out it wasn't for me.  As a parent I think it would be completely fair for you to encourage your daughter to go to college, get a degree in music, but that you will only pay part of it (or none of it at all) and she will need to get grants, scholarships, loans and a job to pay for the rest.  Along the way she may find other areas of interest.

 

By the way, my dh is just 14 units shy of an AA in music. I encourage him to go for it and get the AA in music, because 1) it will be very satisfying to him, and 2) it's one more badge on his resume. Employers like to see degrees of any sort.

 

 

post #94 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa1970 View Post

Do you think I should just not worry about it and if music is her passion, tell her to go for it? Or try to get her to look at other possibilities? It seems like, for music, she has played for years and people always tell her how great she is at it. But when it comes to science and math, which she is also great at, people just do not say anything positive. I have seen people tell her that is geeky. Blow it off. Or upon hearing she got a 97 and 99 in high school biology, that she is just bragging. These are relatives saying this The same relatives who will congratulate her and tell her how brilliant she is when she plays her instrument. In music, she has community music programs to be in and private lessons. But in science, well, it is very scarce what is available.

 

I have thought of sending her to a science camp this summer, so she can just have fun with that, but she only wants to go to music camp. It seems a shame to spend the money on science camp when what she really wants is music. But on the other hand, it also feels like people and society in general where we live just is not geared toward encouraging the maths and the sciences so she has not experienced it at all really.


Oh, holy cow, your poor daughter. I can't help but wonder if these people are expressing a degree of sexism.  Yes, by all means, strongly urge your daughter to go to science camp. Any chance she could do both science and music camp? It would be a splurge but might be well worth it to encourage her.

 

post #95 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by rightkindofme View Post

What it sounds like is she doesn't want to go to college but she feels like she has no choice.  So she's going to make it as hard as possible to force her to go.

 

Honestly, I would just back off.  Not having a college degree is not a death sentence.  And she can go back later.  It sounds like she needs to find out what real life is like instead.  Maybe tell her you will assist with living expenses for 6 months in lieu of college but she has to go out and be a grown up on her own after that?


I agree with this.  This was part of the problem with my college experience.  And like Linda on the Move said,  it sounds like your daughter is being unrealistic.  Maybe she's just naive.  Regardless, I think it's important that she know the levels of complexity.  It's not black and white.  Not having a college degree is not a death sentence but it is definitely easier to go to college before you're anchored to a baby and a mortgage.  Yes, she can definitely go back later. And she will have a much better idea of what she truly wants out of college. I understand that a lot of college teachers appreciate their adult students; they're sincerely committed and want to be there, they're more focused and take the experience seriously. But in practical terms it will be harder.

post #96 of 133

She should go to school where I went, Lawrence University. Plenty of students do a double major in music (either performance or education track) and another major of their choice. I got one of those degrees that may or may not lead to a job, and I did use it for a while, and hope to use it again in the future. Anyway, i felt that my college education was so worth it. In high school, I really thought I was passionate and wanted to do something with biology. After 2 courses my freshman year, with a C and a B-, I decided if it wasn't something I was already good at and interested even more than I was at the time, then I shouldn't waste my money and time pursuing it. So, I was able to explore some other interests and find what I was passionate about, things I never would have considered or known about at home or in high school. Some people out there may be fine with a more practical or vocation education. Some people need time to figure out what they really want to do for the rest of their lives.

post #97 of 133

OP I agree with someone above who said it sounds like your daughter has WAY bigger, more immediately pressing issues in front of her than what to do about college.  I couldn't read every single post - what grade in HS is she in now?  Is she already a junior?  What grade she's in affects my advice a bit, but the bottom line for now doesn't change: she needs to talk to someone about what she went through last year and how it may be affecting her vision for her future (if she even has a vision).

 

I do know many (most?) high school students don't have a clear vision of what they want in the future (and also that even those who do usually change their minds a few times before college graduation) but it's very important for her to feel like she does truly have options and for her to WANT healthy, good things for herself in the future.  From what little you've said about her experience, her past history (did you adopt her out of foster care or from a private agency?), it sounds like she may need some basic emotional support/processing from a professional.  Maybe even a combo of individual therapy and group?

 

Have you looked into it recently?  I don't know how long ago you guys finalized her adoption paperwork, but more and more I'm hearing about groups set up from state to state that try to link adoptive families (even when adoption is already finalized) with resources to help address major issues, especially where the child is struggling. 

 

Have you talked to your daughter about the possibility that what happened last year is still weighing on her?  Does she see herself as having been changed by the experience, and if so how?  How much do you guys talk to her about her views of herself and her goals for her future?

 

ETA: As for the original question, aside from my above thoughts, I absolutely and completely think that if we haven't learned anything else from this recession, we should at least learn that (IMHO anyway) we want our kids to have a Plan A and Plan B!  If she wants to go to music school but not teach and thinks she'll definitely get into Julliard, how is she planning on paying for Julliard (or another music school) and if not teach, what does she think she's going to do to support herself after music school?

 

Again, I KNOW kids often don't know at this stage and then change their minds anyway later, and that's natural.  But she's embarking on a path that she really needs to have a basic plan re: what she thinks she's going to do at the other end.

 

I'm a big believer in "experiential learning".  If she think she'll be a professional concert musician when she's done with school, take her around to the local symphony or wherever the kind of professional musicians she's aspiring to be like are, and have her talk to some of them about their paths to those jobs, the job market, and whether they've always been able to support themselves through music. And especially if she thinks she's gonna be a singer/songwriter type or popular music musician, she needs to talk to real ones about what their path was like and understand that for every musician that's able to "be a musician for a living", there are probably 100+ who tried and couldn't make it work.


Doesn't mean you don't follow your dreams... it just means that with odds that bad, you MUST have a back up plan.  There are many ways to do a "reality check", and she needs to start thinking and hearing from others about what a degree in music most likely will and will not get her.

 

And then whatever plan she comes up with, get her to think about a Plan B... i.e. what will you do if Plan A doesn't work?  It is never too early to help our kids realize that often things don't work out the way you think they will, and it's good to consider that when making huge decisions.  Change will always happen, that's a given, but thinking ahead can help kids both FEEL more prepared and able to handle change, as well as actually handle it.


Edited by LROM - 5/9/11 at 11:24am
post #98 of 133

I read yesterday that the 2011 college graduates will have an average of $22,900 in debt upon graduation. greensad.gif

post #99 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post


 



One of my friends with a BA was turned down by the Peace Core. They want people with degrees who know how to do things they need done -- engineers, nurses, public health. They don't have much use for liberal arts folks who just need an excuse to travel.


Your friend wasn't turned downed because she had a B.A. Almost everyone I knew when I was in the Peace Corps had a liberal arts degree. (I was an English major.) Someone with a liberal arts degree who joins the Peace Corps does not do so as "an excuse to travel." That's an insulting statement.

From the Peace Corps website: Volunteers with degrees in humanities and social sciences are likely to be placed in English teaching, health education, community development, and agriculture programs.

As the Peace Corps website makes clear in its list of qualities sought in volunteers, technical skills are not the main thing. In-country training is excellent, and if you have the other qualities, the PC will see that you get the skills you need and they have already ensured that you're the kind of person who can learn more on your own.

http://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=learn.howvol.lookingfor

What Makes A Successful Volunteer
-flexibility
-adaptability
-patience
-skill
-self-reliance
-positive attitude
-resourcefulness
-responsibility
-sense of humor
post #100 of 133

Well now I'm caught up with the responses.

 

OP, wow I'm so sorry your daughter experienced that. Has she had some talk therapy to help her process it? I think it's likely that as she grows and develops she'll revisit this issue periodically, even if she thinks (and you think) she is 'done' processing it.  Like Linda said, a psychiatrist is the medical doctor who will prescriber her medicines, but is less likely to provide talk therapy.  A psychologist or a family therapist with a specialty in teen issues will be infinitely more helpful.  Perhaps someone with ptsd experience would help, as well. 

 

 

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