pregancy...Lack of intimacy desire. Normal?? or No??

[yongestoneof2]

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Hey everybody,, im 34 weeks pregnant. I have been loosing all my desire in DH. It is starting to hurt his feelings I think. I don't want anyone to touch me or stare at me. i just feel so big and uncomfortable. I don't feel like cuddling when laying down for bed, hugging, kissing,etc.and if it comes to "DTD" forget it. I still love him with all my heart and I still find him the most attractive man iv ever seen.Whenever he tries to be all over me to show me his affection i'm always finding myself pushing him away and i hate it and I 'm sure he does to. is this normal?? is it pregnancy is it me or him?? Is there anyways I can at least fake it until i"m back to my old self again?? does anyone have any advice for me? what can i do ?

[scottishmommy]

It's totally normal! It seems like women either have a very heightened sex drive during pregnancy, or a total plunge! I have to tell you though, that a lot of husbands find their wives to be very, very attractive during pregnancy. What you see as excess fat, he sees as voluptuous curves, bigger breasts, bigger butt, all that stuff men love. I also think that men find the fact that you are fertile and are burdened with their offspring very sexy as well. So try to remember all that and embrace your fertility goddess side( or you could just turn off the lights). I do believe that women should go the extra mile during pregnancy when it comes to having sex. I know i'm gonna get flamed for this, but the truth is that your dh is probably already freaking out about the new baby, and you want to make sure he knows you still love him. It can be a chore, but you don't want to hurt his feelings right now. Just my $.02.

[L&K'smommie]

Originally Posted by yongestoneof2 

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Hey everybody,, im 34 weeks pregnant. I have been loosing all my desire in DH. It is starting to hurt his feelings I think. I don't want anyone to touch me or stare at me. i just feel so big and uncomfortable. I don't feel like cuddling when laying down for bed, hugging, kissing,etc.and if it comes to "DTD" forget it. I still love him with all my heart and I still find him the most attractive man iv ever seen.Whenever he tries to be all over me to show me his affection i'm always finding myself pushing him away and i hate it and I 'm sure he does to. is this normal?? is it pregnancy is it me or him?? Is there anyways I can at least fake it until i"m back to my old self again?? does anyone have any advice for me? what can i do ?

This is my 4th pregnancy and I've always been a don't touch me person during pregnancy.  DTD just sucks(it doesn't help that I have bad varicose and vulvar veins)...but this pregnancy is definitely worse.   I don't want anyone to touch me...not just dh, I'm bothered by my kids right now as well.  I definitely think it's normal for some women in pregnancy.  That said, up until about 2 or 3 weeks ago I would at least try and give it a go...only once a week as that's all I could handle, but I still tried for dh.  Now we haven't in a while and partly that's because dh has been sick and the other part is all me.  He knows that I'm swollen and sore and huge and that it's awkward.  I think you really just need to sit down and talk with him about how you are feeling about him and DTD and pregnancy.  That helps a lot!  Hugs mama!

[elonwy]

We haven't DTD at all this pregnancy. My drive just dropped almost immediately and the couple times we tried it was so uncomfortable for me Dh wasn't into trying anymore either. The swelling down there just got so bad so early that it was actually hurting to try. Luckily my husband is pretty awesome about it and though I know he misses the nookie we cuddle on a regular basis and check in with each other. He would never ask me to do something that makes me uncomfortable in that way, it pretty much turns him off and I am eternally grateful for his patience and understanding.

[eastmillcreekmama]

I had a great sex drive earlier in the pregnancy, but in the last few weeks it has vaporized. Bummer. I was enjoying the libido, more than my non-pg usual. But I think it's totally normal to not be interested. For one thing, finding a position that is mutually tantalizing right now is nearly impossible. Also, my vaginal mucous has changed to the point where it's not very slippery anymore and causing a lot of friction. It has me thinking about sex toys for the first time in our relationship? Any possibility you could get more creative in finding ways to satisfy DH even if you don't feel like getting aroused and going all the way? I'm already thinking ahead on this one, because after our DD was born, we only had sex twice in the first year. I tore during birth and it hurt too much for the first year. How can we keep the love alive?? I think it's about getting creative somehow. Certainly that would look different for each of us...what would turn your DH on, but require very little effort on your part??