November DDC ONE Thread- May 2011 - Page 2

[Mal85]

We upgraded the car shortly after finding out we were expecting. We needed to anyway, I was still driving the car I had in college, a tiny Dodge Caliber. It was sooo tiny! I also run a daycare out of my house and have been stuck here for the last 2 years because I didn't have the car space to take the kids anywhere. Which was fine when I started and they were all infants, but now I have a bunch of toddlers who want to get out as badly as I do! So, we got a minivan. I really wanted an Odyssey or Sienna, but they were out of our price range. We got a good deal on a 2010 Dodge Grand Caravan and I'm loving all the space we have now. I successfully packed 4 car seats in last week for our first trip to the park! It was so great to get out.

I wish I could upgrade the house with you guys. We live in a two bedroom place with about 900 sq ft of living space. It's tight with just the three of us and we're already feeling the walls close in as we prepare things for this baby. Sadly, we have to wait on DH to get a promotion before that happens, which we're hoping will happen shortly after the baby is born. We're planning on being here until the new baby is about a year old. I just hope it works out!

[dashley111]

We are currently adding 2 new bedrooms to the basement for our existing kids.  I say "we" but really I mean my husband, since I do very, very little these days :/  We have a small farmhouse, and the upstairs is about 800 square feet (including the 2 bedrooms), which we always made work...but could not make work with 3.  It will be nice for the older 2 to have their own spaces again.

We made it a point to get a larger vehicle before I even got pregnant.  We ended up getting an SUV out of necessity, because of where we live- a minivan would be a nice lawn ornament 4 months out of the year. 

[Jaimee]

It is fortuitous that we're moving from the east coast to the midwest where we'll be able to afford more house now that this little one will be joining us.  I'm just feeling really stressed about getting our house here sold and buying a new one there before the baby comes.  We want a homebirth and I'm not interested in doing that in some interim 2 bedroom apartment.  I wish Illinois had free standing birth centers- I would feel less stressed if that was an option!  Anyway, fingers crossed that these people make us an offer!

[mcacat]

I am due with my second baby on November 22, 2011 so please add me as well.  I have a 2.5 year old daughter.

I just had my 12 week midwife appointment and heard the heartbeat for the first time!  I found it very reassuring as I am not planning an ultrasound until 18 weeks.   I also found out that our team has changed around and the midwife who was our second with our first baby has joined our team.  She was on a different team and just happened to be at the birth to fill in for our other midwife who had a family emergency.  Anyhow, she's great and it will be nice to know two of the three from the first time around.

I'm also thrilled to have a bit more energy and the nausea is easing up a little.  Food is more appealing.  Thank goodness for T2!  Bring on the fun part.

[herbmama3-7]

Ladies, I don't handle pregnancy well.  This is HARD work and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!  Ok I said it, I have been having a difficult time lately, feeling burnt out and totally frusterated with it all.  I do a lot of this life with the other two kids and housekeeping myself, my DH works and travels a lot and frankly I am sick of being the martyr who does it all.  Don't get me wrong, my DH is a wonderful man and the best dad ever, its just his crazy schedule and my part time waitressing job that is pushing me to feeling so taxed.  I needed a place to vent, so thank you all for taking the time to read.  I can't wait until the 2nd trimester, it will be nice to have a belly and feel the baby and hopefully feel better. 

Cheers to all of you doing an amazing thing, growing a human being!

[justamama]

Add me in ladies! Due late November with #4.

We have a minivan, but really need to upgrade DH's blazer to an SUV with a third row...we use the blazer to pull our camper. So it's drive two vehicles, add towing capabilities to the van (if it'll pull our camper...its a tiny one, but I don't know), or upgrade his blazer. Which we just got for free in a trade for my late FIL's motorcycle, but I dunno. Part of me wants to upgrade my van to a conversion van with a tow package instead.

DH is feeling  like we need more house. We have 925sq ft with 3 bedrooms. One tiny one, 2 good size ones. I think it'd be cheaper for us to convert the garage into a bedroom, but also think we're fine with the space we have as long as we start utilizing it better. I think part of his is just feeling like he needs to provide more for our family. Which is crazy, because I like having a tiny house!

[Motivated Mama]

Add me please. Mid-November with #4

We have a Honda Pilot with a third row of seats and since we are upside-down on the loan, we won't be trading it in anytime soon. It's a little cramped, but it will work. We also have a 4 bedroom house although we've converted one of the bedrooms into the living space and the original living space into a dining room, but I still think it will work. Currently all 3 of my little ones are in the bedroom upstairs next to ours, which is decent-sized. The 4th bedroom has bunk beds and all their toys, but no one is sleeping in it yet! We would love a new updated home and land, but we're just not in a place financially right now, so I will be working on making our current home feel like home. For the last 4 years, it has always felt temporary and with both of us working, I've kind of treated it that way. Now that I will be home full-tim, that's going to change.

[Jaimee]

Hi ladies!    Glad to see the chat thread getting some action. 

I had a rough evening and night with ds who was super fussy (probably a molar).  So I'm tired and cranky this morning.  Dh spent the evening at a baseball game with dd and had a lovely time.  I know that's great for them and I'm happy dd had a nice time, but when I'm home with a crying baby and feeling nauseous, it sort of sucks to think of them off having fun and then coming home and sleeping through the night.  Rrrrr.....  This morning I was snapping at dh b/c I tried to tell him what a hard night I had while he was off having fun.  All I wanted was some sympathy and maybe to have him give the kids breakfast (he has the day off).  But instead it turns into an argument about how much he does for our family and he doesn't appreciate being blasted.  I hate these miscommunications.  Why can't he just say he's sorry that my night sucked and then turn around and feed the crying toddler some breakfast?  I mean, come on.  I think it's just so easy for partners to forget how crappy we feel when we're pregnant.  Honestly I think if I were throwing up he would have more sympathy, but b/c I'm a gagger/constant nasty nausea type he doesn't see how miserable I am all the time.  So, Molly, I hear you!  This is tough work we mamas do.

[dashley111]

Originally Posted by herbmama3-7 

Ladies, I don't handle pregnancy well.  This is HARD work and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!  Ok I said it, I have been having a difficult time lately, feeling burnt out and totally frusterated with it all.  I do a lot of this life with the other two kids and housekeeping myself, my DH works and travels a lot and frankly I am sick of being the martyr who does it all.  Don't get me wrong, my DH is a wonderful man and the best dad ever, its just his crazy schedule and my part time waitressing job that is pushing me to feeling so taxed.  I needed a place to vent, so thank you all for taking the time to read.  I can't wait until the 2nd trimester, it will be nice to have a belly and feel the baby and hopefully feel better. 

Cheers to all of you doing an amazing thing, growing a human being!

  It IS a hard job, and Im sorry your feeling so awful.  I myself have been struggling with some of the same feelings- esspecially in regard to feeling sick and tired all the time.
 

[Jaimee]

So I'm not sure why I'm obsessing about the birth already... I'm only 11 weeks.  Generally it takes until 30 weeks for me to start turning my focus toward the birth.  But this whole "wild card" situation with third labors and births has really got me mulling.  I think some of it has to do with the fact that I don't know where or with whom I'm going to birth since we're moving in a couple months.  But in general I have this lack of confidence about the birth part, sort of a dreading already b/c of what I've heard from so many people.  It sucks b/c usually I am the one among my friends to be spouting the amazing experience that is birth, boosting their confidence that they can do it... but now I feel unsure.  It's odd.  I'm thinking it also has to do with the fact that my second labor and birth was so easy.  I was already dilated to 5+cm before labor even started and the rest wasn't too hard.  Of course there is always that moment in transition where you want to be done, but pushing was a total breeze.  I don't want to expect my third labor to be the same or even easier b/c it seems like that is unlikely to be the case and these types of expectations cause frustration when the labor is not progressing as thought.  I'm all for envisioning things and I plan to do that, but I also want to be realistic.  What was nice about preparing for my second birth was that I knew there was an excellent chance that things would be quicker and easier.  Third time... not so much.  ARGH!

I posted in Birth and Beyond if you'd like to add your experience or follow the discussion.  Hopefully more people will join in soon before the thread gets buried. 

[Mal85]

I've been thinking about the birth since before we got pregnant, so you're not alone! In some ways I feel a little more prepared, but not in others. I do think I have a better support team this time and will have a doula there with me which I really wanted before, but wasn't able to have. My main concern right now is this pain in my tailbone. I had some pretty significant tailbone pain during my last labor, and that was with an epidural. Like I felt like my butt was going to split open and my nurses kept saying how unusual that was with the epidural. But I sure felt it and it was painful! I didn't give it much thought because my recovery went well. I had a really hard time getting into the standing/sitting position the first 2 days PP, but once we got home it healed pretty quickly and it's given me no trouble since then. Until now, anway... And it's exactly where it was during my labor, so I'm worried that I did injure it somehow and that it's going to get worse and make the labor this time more painful. I really want to make it this time without an epidural, but I'm just thinking about how painful that was with the drugs and what is going to feel like without?? 

I'm probably stressing over nothing, but of course I had to google it last night and found some things that kind of scared me. I really want to enjoy this pregnancy as much as I did my last one and the thought of being in pain the whole time is not appealing at all. I'm going to ask my midwife about it at my next appointment and maybe she can put my mind at ease. 

[Jaimee]

Mallory- I had issues with my tailbone during my first pregnancy as well.  It started sometime in the third tri- it was painful to sit.  I went to a manual physical therapist (and paid out of pocket b/c no MPT's were covered by my insurance) and had my tailbone popped back into place as it had been dislocated.  The process was not painful- it actually stung, which is sort of weird- and I had to sit on ice for a bit to reduce the swelling.  During labor, I had no urge to push and when my dd was born there was a long scratch on the top of her head.  My mw hypothesized that her head was not properly hitting the muscle that is by the tailbone to stimulate the urge to push and the scratch came from the tailbone itself.  While the lack of urge to push was frustrating, I was glad that I did not fracture my tailbone, which I hear takes weeks to heal.  I also had some discomfort postpartum standing up straight and sitting down, but it didn't last long. 

So, my advice to you would be to go to a MPT that will work on pregnant women and see what's up with your tailbone and the muscles in that vicinity.  I would definitely be sure to go toward the end of your pregnancy if the tailbone needs to be relocated.

[Ratchet]

I am 14 weeks with my first and this is probably my last week in my non-stretchy pre-pregnancy pants.  Jeans, khaki's etc.  I have told my manager at work but not every one else that I work with, the opportunity hasn't come up but i don't know if I can get away with not much longer. 

Dennie- it's nice to hear that you are happy with your family in a small home.  We have a 1200 sq ft house with the potential for 3 bedrooms (it's a "fixer-upper" to put it lightly and the upstairs is largely unfinished at the moment.)  For just us 2, plus a new baby the downstairs area is fine but I would like to think that I could stay in the house (I love the house) and have a moderately big family (I've always envisioned 4 but perhaps after 1 I will reconsider, who knows).  Anyone have any pointers for a family in a small house?  Thus far my main response to feeling like I don't have enough room is to build lots of built-ins, floor to ceiling.  "A place for everything and everything in it's place" has meant a lot of carpentry and has helped.  Also, not having very much 'stuff.'  People tell me babies and kids come with lots of stuff but I suspect that's not true for everyone. 

I have suspected that I've felt baby movement (when I pay attention really hard) but at 14 weeks for a first timer that may be optimistic... but who knows, time will tell.

[Paigekitten]

We moved from a one bedroom apartment to a two bedroom apartment with my first because I thought we would need the space.  Turns out we didn't even use all the baby swings and stuff (or even a crib!) so we shouldn't have bothered.  I felt my Libby move at 18 weeks for sure, and Julianna at 16 weeks or so.  I felt this baby at 14 weeks, but just once, and then not for another week.  Not being constantly nauseous is wonderful.  The last few weeks have gone quickly. Next month we should find out if it's a girl or a boy.  I am super excited to either start collecting boy clothes, or start trotting the girls clothes I have saved. Am I the only one who pulls out all my baby clothes every few weeks just to look at them? 

[amberfawn]

Hi, please add me. I'm due with #1 around November 9th.

I'm between 14 and 15 weeks (16 week mw appt in about a week and a half). The nausea and exhaustion seem to have given way to increased emotional swings. My "normal" clothes (pants mostly) quit fitting around 12 weeks so right after I heard the heartbeat I went shopping and at this point I love my maternity clothes.

Lately, I'm feeling like there's not much going on. I know there's lots happening in my body but I can't really feel it so I find myself questioning a) if this is real and b) if everything is ok (normal, right?). There's no indication that everything wouldn't be ok. I'm really looking forward to the next mw appt, hearing the heartbeat and scheduling the next ultrasound.

[Jaimee]

Welcome Amberfawn!    Yep, totally normal to feel like it's not real.  I found that it took until the baby was moving a lot and I was obviously showing to feel real.

[justamama]

Originally Posted by Ratchet 

Dennie- it's nice to hear that you are happy with your family in a small home.  We have a 1200 sq ft house with the potential for 3 bedrooms (it's a "fixer-upper" to put it lightly and the upstairs is largely unfinished at the moment.)  For just us 2, plus a new baby the downstairs area is fine but I would like to think that I could stay in the house (I love the house) and have a moderately big family (I've always envisioned 4 but perhaps after 1 I will reconsider, who knows).  Anyone have any pointers for a family in a small house?  Thus far my main response to feeling like I don't have enough room is to build lots of built-ins, floor to ceiling.  "A place for everything and everything in it's place" has meant a lot of carpentry and has helped.  Also, not having very much 'stuff.'  People tell me babies and kids come with lots of stuff but I suspect that's not true for everyone. 

Definitely purge, purge, purge! About once a week I try to get rid of more stuff. My big focus this summer is the kitchen. There are some things I need to add (pressure canner, dehydrator), but we have way too many of other things. When we can our garden and farmer's markets/grocery store sale finds this year we'll probably use a closet in the extra bedroom (the big girls share a combo bedroom/toyroom, we have our room with the baby in there, and then there's a tiny extra bedroom) to store excess. We have a sectional sofa versus a sofa set. We've had both and having the middle of the room open definitely makes it feel bigger to us. We usually have grandparents keep gifts for the kids at their house for them to play with there, etc.

We are lucky to have a nice sized yard, too. In the spring and summer we are outdoors a LOT! Hubby is remodeling our shed so  half of it is the girls' playhouse and the other half our chicken coop. Once they have that area for toys, I'll be limiting indoor toys to what can fit in/on the Step2 toybox in their room. Once the 1 y/o is ready to move into their room we'll upgrade the daybed/trundle to bunkbeds with the trundle underneath. Even though right now the big girls share the daybed and co-sleep.

[justamama]

I pulled a hip muscle today. TMI, but I had been sore after DTD over the weekend, but recovered. Then last night (well, 3am), I was cleaning the bedroom and twisted to throw a trashbag into the pack and play (aka storage bin). And spend the next 8 hours in bed unable to move. :( The doctor told me I could take a muscle relaxer and tylenol, so I'll be doing that before bed tonight. It hurts to walk. I'm trying to convince my hubby to stay home tomorrow and help me because I've got about a million things to do and am not sure how I'm going to handle three kids doing it!

[Jaimee]

Oh no!  Sorry Dennie!  I hope you feel better soon!  Your dh better stay home since this all started when you were DTD! 

[dashley111]

Man Im irritated.  At my 12 week appt I had an ultrasound (normal, lovely, healthy jumping baby) but they could not find the heartbeat in the office with the doppler.  I was completely OK with it since I had literally JUST had my ultrasound and everything was fine.  Besides, I have a lot of scar tissue in the muscle on top of my uterus and the doppler just plain hurts.  So Sunday (3 days later) I went to the ER to get re-hydrated and they wanted to check the heartbeat with a doppler.  I let them, but told them at my appt just 3 days previous it was unsuccessful.  They couldn't find the heartbeat- NO BIG DEAL to me, because I feel plenty of baby wiggles all the time.  PLUS I am pretty confident its just placement/placenta issues because of what happened at the appointment Thursday. 

So the ER doc writes my doc- telling him I'm delusional for thinking I feel my baby move, and he is confident that something is wrong because *he* couldn't find the heartbeat and he is so super experienced. 

I called him today and told him that obviously he has great experience growing people in HIS uterus and he knows EXACTLY what fetal movement feels like, so I should never have argued with him about feeling fetal movement.