5 week old just cried to sleep

[Tmama]

I'm a mama of a 4 year old and a 5 weeker.  4 year old son had to use the bathroom and I had to help him wipe of course.  Baby starts to cry and I can't get to him right away (huge difference than with my first DS as I always scooped him up right away since I didn't have any other kids!)  I came back in the room and baby was asleep!  This happens all the time.  I usually pick baby right up but there are times as I am noticing as this is my first time with 2 kids that I can't get to the baby immediately and he calms himself down.  It makes me feel like he just gave up and I made my baby cry it out, which I never would do as an attachment parent.

Being a mama of 2 is hard!  

[Mittsy]

Couldn't read and not post, even though both of mine are out of the baby stage.DD(6), who was my first, used to do this, she would fuss/cry and by the time I got to her she'd be asleep; I guess some babies do this as a way to fall asleep. She was also the baby who refused to co-sleep despite repeated attempts on my part, even as a newborn she preferred to have her own sleeping space, we couldn't even room in with her as the slightest noise would wake her up and lead to a extremely grumpy peanut. Now we realize this may have been because she has auditory/tactile sensory avoidance issues. I'm not saying your child has any issues at all though!! Some children are just like this, with the exception of the sensory issues dd was a very easy baby.

[WifeofAnt]

My son did the same thing twice when he was smaller.  The first time I had to run to the bathroom (weak bladder post-birth, once I had the urge I had to pee within 10 seconds or I'd pee myself) and he was asleep by the time I came back and the second time was when my DH first deployed and I was so frustrated and upset that I started crying.  I set him down and not even a minute later he was asleep.  I'm not really proud of either but its what I had to do at the time, I can only do the best I can with the resources I have and sometimes I have to put me first.

[Virginia884]

You didn't make him CIO! He just stopped fighting the sleep and was out. My 6 week old will cry and fuss in arms and then BOOM asleep. Don't feel bad, mama. You do what you can.


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[D_McG]

You'll probably find that your second child is a much better sleeper and all round more easy going because you just can't jump the way you did with your first. It's an awesome thing. Don't feel bad!

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by D_McG 

You'll probably find that your second child is a much better sleeper and all round more easy going because you just can't jump the way you did with your first. It's an awesome thing. Don't feel bad!

when does this start  to happen? i cant get to ds2 everytime he starts crying and he is neither a good sleeper nor laid back. he just cries until i can get to him :(
 

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185 

when does this start  to happen? i cant get to ds2 everytime he starts crying and he is neither a good sleeper nor laid back. he just cries until i can get to him :(
 

lalalala. I refuse to entertain the possibility that my next baby (due tomorrow) will be less laid back than my mellow second

Seriously though maybe it was just luck. I do know I'm much stricter with her and cut myself WAY more slack. Take more breaks, worry less, don't obsess about her crying with DH etc. I do think all that helps! But of course children are who they are. The nature/nurture thing is never easy to determine!

[Shaki]

I hear you OP, I'm finding that I'm not able to respond as quickly to my new DS as I did to DD. It is hard. No advice, just letting you know you're not alone.

[tzs]

i wouldn't look at the experience as bad or negative in ANY way. in fact just the opposite, by not being able to respond immediately you accidentally stumbled on a discovery about how your baby needs to/can fall asleep!

alot of babies need to fuss or fight sleep. mine was the same way and it wasn't until i was stuck in the bathroom once myself and she cried for maybe a minute and then fell asleep, that i learned that she needed that release. it was the first nap of substance she had taken since she came home 2 months before. it helped me to learn to distinguish the difference between her needing to release and her needing me to come running. being stuck that day was a blessing in disguise!

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by D_McG 

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185 

when does this start  to happen? i cant get to ds2 everytime he starts crying and he is neither a good sleeper nor laid back. he just cries until i can get to him :(
 

lalalala. I refuse to entertain the possibility that my next baby (due tomorrow) will be less laid back than my mellow second

Seriously though maybe it was just luck. I do know I'm much stricter with her and cut myself WAY more slack. Take more breaks, worry less, don't obsess about her crying with DH etc. I do think all that helps! But of course children are who they are. The nature/nurture thing is never easy to determine!

I have heard from SO many people that their 3rd baby was their mellowist. ;) I definitely don't worry as much about him crying, I do the best I can and that is all I can do. And he is mellower than DS1 was, but not by much. And DS1 was SUPER highneeds, and a terrible sleeper. DS2 is "just" averagely highneeds and "just" a bad sleeper. ;) But they seem to have a similiar temperment (very social, active, "all boy" kind of boys).

[journeymom]

Tmama, I'm with the others who said this is a good thing, not a bad thing. Count your lucky stars.   You know your baby's different cries.  So was this a shrieking, thoroughly upset cry? Or was this less intense crying?  A minute of hearing your baby cry and not being able to do anything about it is hard on your mama heart, no doubt.  But don't beat yourself up for this. 

[anjsmama]

Originally Posted by D_McG 

You'll probably find that your second child is a much better sleeper and all round more easy going because you just can't jump the way you did with your first. It's an awesome thing. Don't feel bad!

  

DD is 3 months and she is so chill. She sleeps 8 hours at night (what EBF, cosleeping baby does this?!) and naps really well through the daytime madness that is my almost-3-year-old DS. DS is potty learning full time now, so I am often a full minute with him before I can get to her, and she sometimes will just fall asleep or amuse herself with her hands until I get there. 

[CookAMH]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185 

when does this start  to happen? i cant get to ds2 everytime he starts crying and he is neither a good sleeper nor laid back. he just cries until i can get to him :(
 

My five week old is the same way, and I have accepted that she is just doing to have to deal with life differently sometime since she's not the only child around! I can't hold her constantly, nor can I wear her constantly at this point in pp recovery.  I have to dress myself and go to the bathroom at some point each day. She has calmed herself down before, like yours has, before I could get to her. She's the same way in the car which is stressful, but there is only so much I can do while driving. My first one was soooo laid back (although he hated the care too as a young infant)! I could lay him down awake and he'd be ok for at least a few minutes. This one throws a fit and I know it's an angry cry, like "pick me back up! I liked that much better. I know you're there!" I know she'll get better over the next few weeks as the world starts to interest her more and she feels more secure out of the womb. Remember the "fourth trimester" idea, that this is a big transition time for them.