Two Year Old Crying All the Time

[milomama]

My DS is 25 months and it seems like he cries all the time.  He's always been pretty quick to fuss, but lately it's driving me insane.  I only get a few minutes here and there when he nurses while I'm at the computer (right now).  Otherwise, he's on me all the time, crying at the littlest thing.

He asks for snacks a million times a day.  If it's on a plate and he wanted a bowl, he cries.  If it's cut the wrong way, he cries.  If there are too many pieces, he cries.  Yesterday I had given him a plate of avocado slices, and he decided to give me back two slices.  I told him to leave them on his plate (I was in the middle of doing the dishes) and he screamed and cried.

If I go to the bathroom (even bringing him along) he cries.  A toy falls down the wrong way and it's disaster.  If the cat touches his stuff or sits in his chair, it's not good!

He was mad this morning that I used a laundry bag instead of a basket when we hung out the wash.

I'm a SAHM and have always practiced attachment parenting.  I'm going crazy though...I'm with him all day and he is so needy and so quick to anger.  I involve him in everything, and he'll go along with it.  Like the laundry...follows me out, acknowledges we're doing it, but insists that he wants a laundry basket.  And tells me he's "pretty sad".  He's usually "pretty sad" these days.  He gets over things and he never gets violent (never hurts people or things, doesn't throw) but stands there crying and very upset over little things over and over again ALL DAY!  I don't get much done in a day...I don't really do chores beyond the bare minimum, he's too demanding.  

We cut gluten and dairy 6 months ago (I was diagnosed celiac and suspect sensitivities in him too) and that seemed to help a bit with fussiness at the time, but it has come back in full force!

Any thoughts?  Anyone been through this and have wonderful things to tell me?  Please!

[D_McG]

what do you do when he cries? Like if he cries because his snack is on a bowl instead of a plate or whatever... how do you react?

does he get enough sleep? (I would say about 14 hours a day for his age?)

[Greenlea]

When my DS does this I tell him I him to use his words instead of crying, which he usually does.  Then if its something as simple as giving him a bowl instead of a plate, I do it.  But I also explain to him that he doesn't need to cry about it, just tell me and I can help him.

[Alison Humphrey]

We are going through this with my 25 mo old DD right now. Constant meltdowns where she is too upset to even tell me what she wants. Did you find anything that worked or get any useful advice?

[atlantafemme]

Bumping this b/c we're dealing with the same problem. 27 month old DS constantly melting here, throws, kicks, knocks things out of my hands, flings himself on the floor, etc. He's very verbal so it's not that he can't communicate but I feel like he's tantrum-ing more often than he's not. We've had plenty of changes lately (moved, new brother, etc) but I can't change any of that for him. I try to respond lovingly. But I usually lose my patience by the late afternoon and start ignoring the melts. 

He's so amazing and I love him endlessly but I'm exhausted. I want to be enjoying these years, not wishing them away! :(

[JustSimplicity]

DS is 18 months and we're going through this too. In fact, I can't really remember a time when he wasn't crying at least every 10 minutes. I encourage him to "use his words" also and if I can tell he can stop himself and talk I'll give him a few minutes to say what he wants instead of scream. There are times when he is simply too upset to talk and I need to do much better at stopping what I am doing and simply being with him until he is ready to get calm. We have been reading Calm Down Time a lot and he loves it and I think he is starting to understand how to take a deep breath when he is upset. I need to do better at crouching down to his level and encouraging him to breathe. It's so hard to accept that he's having big feelings when he seems to have them all. the. time.

As for the snacks, maybe you could just set specific times for snacks and stick to them. If he is done with a snack, remind him that he can have a snack again in an hour (or two or whatever you decide). Or he may be old enough to get some snacks for himself (mine is a little too young for this but maybe it would work at your son's age). Could you keep a drawer or shelf stocked with a couple of snack options and then show him how to serve himself? That way he can do it the way he wants.

[hangeles74]

This is very important.  It gets better.  :-)  I say that becasue our DS is now almost 30 months old and most of this has stopped.  He still cries when he wakes up or gets touchy about some things, but I think the transition to talking is so helpful, but getting there is soooooo painful.  Wait, nevermind.  DS just started crying and we don't know why.  Hang in there!

[newmamalizzy]

That's funny.  DD (23 months) is either "really sad about it," "pretty sad about it," or "teeny sad about it" most of the day these days.  She doesn't usually tantrum, though; just slumps down on the ground and makes sad faces, walks around despondently, etc.  I do feel like she cries more now than she did as a baby, and she's really clingy.  If I'm truly to busy to help her (or just have no patience left) I tell her to go find one of her stuffed animals and hug it tight.  It does seem to help. 

[brneyedmama]

We're also dealing with similar issues with 18 month old DD and I've found that allowing her to make her own decisions as much as possible has gone a LOOONG way.  This is not to say that she gets whatever she wants, but that I offer age appropriate options and she can choose which one she wants.  For example, at meal time..."do you want your lunch in a plate or a bowl?" and when she says bowl, I then show her two different ones and she picks the one she wants.  When getting dressed I offer her two different outfits and she can pick which one she wants, and so on.  You can make even the smallest things into a choice for them so they can feel independent and as if they're included.  Perhaps when it's time to hang laundry, you could start by saying that it's time to hang laundry, you're so excited for his help, and which laundry basket would he like to use?  Or you could say..."I have so much to carry outside, would you like to carry the laundry basket or the clothes pegs?" or whatever, you get my drift.

We also had the issue of DD having meltdowns when I had to go to the bathroom, so I started keeping a pile of her books next to the toilet and a little kid plastic chair.  She now sits there beside me (not as private as I'd like, but its better than my lap) and she reads.  This also though had to start with an option, "which book would you like to read while mommy uses the bathroom?"  or  "do you want mommy to pick out the book, or do you want to pick it out?"

I hope this helps, hang in there!!!

[KellyandBean]

Does he have all of his teeth? My 24 month old is acting just like this and is cutting her upper canines. Maybe he is getting 2nd year molars?