Cupcakes for birthdays at your Montessori?

[Katielady]

As is the norm at every preschool I know of in the area, the parents at my son's Montessori school almost always bring in cupcakes when it's their child's birthday. It's problematic for us because of DS's dairy allergy. With 19 kids in the class, this means there are 18 days a year when there's a yummy treat he can't have, and I either have to bring in an alternative or comfort a very upset DS when I didn't know about the bday and hadn't brought something for him. They told me they'd have alteratives for him which is why I've been lax about providing one, but lately the alternatives have basically been more snack (fruit, crackers, etc.) which is not really equivalent to a cupcake. Even though there's very little left to the year I've decided to bring in some non-perishable treats like oreos for them to have on hand so the poor kid doesn't end up in tears again.

Anyway, I attended Montessori K-5th and we did NOT do cake or anything like that for bdays- there was a special bday ceremony to honor the child, and the child could bring a present for the school (like a new material or a book). I really liked it and didn't know I was missing anything. It's my understanding that my experience is more in line with the Montessori philosophy. Or was my school just a fluke? I'm curious because my daughter will be attending this same school for 2 or 3 years starting next year, and I'm wondering if it's worth trying to change.

Thanks for answering the poll! :)

[physmom]

I voted "other sweet treat".  I think they normally bring cake?  I'm not actually sure since DD just started but I know they did have one birthday at least and she ended up singing "Happy Birthday to the kid (this was very exciting for everyone because we live abroad so they don't get to hear "Happy Birthday" in English there ever! ).  One thing I'm NOT thrilled about is sometimes they give the kids coffee (definitely one cultural difference I'm not a big fan of here).  We've told them never, ever, no matter what give this kid coffee (she seriously has more than enough energy already!) so then they give her water and they don't seem to have any problems with that so far. 

I think your idea of having non-perishables on hand is a good one.  Something like single serving oreos is a really good idea.  Is there also anyway you could get the list of birthdays at the beginning of the year to know ahead of time?  I've never heard of the different approach (although that'S really a cool idea, I hate kids having that much sugar!) so it might be worth suggesting it. 

[northerngirl]

My daughter's school makes the "treats" at the school. It is nut/peanut free so they don't allow parents to bring birthday treats. What usually happens is they make homemade popcicles or smoothies. The birthday child gets to choose their treat and then they and a few others get to make it the day before. The school sends home a list of items they need to make the treat.

Could you find out when the celebrations are and send along his own cupcake or other special treat that would be more like what the others are having? It must be real hard for your son to watch others enjoying their treats while he eats crackers. I would be in tears too.

Your son is the only one in the class with a food issue? At dd's school besides the nut allergy there are many kids who are sensitive to all sorts of stuff. It's good in a way because then there is not packaged processed food there, they focus on whole foods and even have a garden.

[NYMommy2007]

There is no special food treat for birthday's at DD's school.  They have a ceremony representing each year the child has lived and the parents come in and read a book and talk about special events during each year of their child's life.

[mightymoo]

We do a birthday walk.  Sometimes parents will bring in a special healthy treat, but generally food is not involved in the birthday celebration.  The parents come in and bring pictures of the child at each age and they walk around the candle/sun setup (not sure if you have seen this) holding the globe, each time representing a year of their life and talk about what they did at that age, etc.

[mumkimum]

At our montessori, there typically are cupcakes/cookies too (though I really like these non-treat ways of celebrating birthdays others mention, I'd be really into that).

There are quite a few other kids with special dietary preferences (like strict kosher or allergies) and they have special treat foods kept at school for them (cookies I think).  That's likely the best solution (yummyearth lollipops might be a good solution ).  I personally always bring non-food things whenever we like to hand something out but we're probably unconventional that way compared to the other families.

My recall of my montessori preschool, though, I suspect we also had sweet treats (there are some photos of cupcakes at school).  But I don't actually remember.

[Shaki]

At our M school, the birthday child brings in a treat of their choice. It has to be store bought with an ingredient list so the teachers know if it contains anything kids with allergies and sensitivities can't have. Cupcakes are the most frequent treat. The parents of children I know who who have food allergies, send in a treat that is ok for their kid to have when a bday treat isn't ok for them.  They generally send in a big box of whatever it is (nilla waffers, oreos, whatever) and that box is set aside for that child, if the box runs out the teacher emails the parent and they bring in more.

ETA: The treat isn't the main part of the bday celebration. The kid also sing a song called "circle round the sun," where the bday child dresses up like the earth (with a cape, mask, or holding a globe--it varies from classroom to classroom), chooses a special friend to be their sun, and then walks in several circles around their sun (One circle for each year of their life). And in DD's class the bday child gives a book to the classroom, which the teacher reads to them.

[ollyoxenfree]

I don't recall ever sending any kind of treats for birthdays and I don't recall either child receiving anything like cupcakes or candy. 

At one school, the birthday child donated a new book to the classroom library, but that was voluntary. The directress would place a special bookplate inside the book with the child's name and a nice dedication. It was really lovely. I like to think that some of those books are still in that classroom today, 10 years later. 

[Shanny2032]

My daughter attends a Mother's Day Out right now 3 days a week at a Montessori school.  When I took the tour, the head of the school was very adamant that they are trying to promote healthier choices and prefer that parents bring muffins or healthier options.  I think that I have discovered "healthier options" is a relative term!  I provide all of DD's snacks for school and never really thought about the birthday thing.  With both egg and dairy allergies treats are rare for her.  One day she mentioned it was someone's birthday and that they had "something" (I cannot remember what but was a treat of some kind) then she excitedly told me that she had crackers and fruit for her special treat/snack!  Either she's just a little weird, haha or it's because she is only 2 1/2 and doesn't know to be bummed yet!  Next year she will attend a 1/2, 5 day Montessori school and I am curious now to see what their philosophy is.  The little girl that I Nanny for goes to a much more traditional Montessori and they do more of a celebrate the day kind of thing without it being based around food I believe.  I love some of the alternative ideas that have been brought up here and will definitely keep that in mind if our new school doesn't do something like this already.

[ldsmom06]

Wow I am surprised that everyone brings cupcakes to their children's Montessori school.  We moved so our kids are in a different Montessori school this year and in both schools you always bring veggies or fruit.  My dd is allergic to dairy so it has been wonderful.   When they had celebrations sometimes they would make as a class muffins but they were always dairy, nut and egg free. 

[Katielady]

Originally Posted by ldsmom06 

Wow I am surprised that everyone brings cupcakes to their children's Montessori school.  We moved so our kids are in a different Montessori school this year and in both schools you always bring veggies or fruit.  My dd is allergic to dairy so it has been wonderful.   When they had celebrations sometimes they would make as a class muffins but they were always dairy, nut and egg free. 

I think it may be particular to the area I live in. It's very mainstream and people also tend to go WAY over the top for birthdays in general, which is a whole nother topic. Sigh. Anyway, I think I will just have to deal, because even though it's not that "Montessori" to me, it's not explicitly un-Montessori either, so not an easy thing to fight.

[Drummer's Wife]

Our Montessori also does the whole birthday walk, and yes, kids usually bring cupcakes. I've been there when they were passing them out several times (after eating lunch), and it was expressed that cookies were preferred b/c they are less mess. That doesn't help the whole allergy thing, of course.

They did specify no sheet cakes, though, as they require cutting, plates, forks, etc., I guess.

[tigress]

I voted other sweet treat because the parents bring whatever that family chooses--cake, cupcakes, etc. The school encourages "healthier" things like carrot cake and no icing, but mostly people bring cupcakes. My ds has an egg allergy and can't have any of it, so I baked a chocolate cake at the beginning of the year, iced it with my own buttercream, cut it up and put it in a tupperware and took it to school. They keep it in the freezer there and he gets a piece any time there is a treat. I think he is a little bummed that he can't have the same thing as everyone else, but what he does get is fabulous and delicious and baked with love by his mama.