Night weaning plans and advice/support

[carmen358]

After trying SO SO hard to figure out why my DD wakes so much I'm at the point where we're planning on night weaning. She is 16 months old and has been a really rough sleeper since about 7 months. We have done elimination diets (still not 100% sure if she has allergies...but still on the elimination diet), wondered about teething, etc. and other than a few weeks with some 3-4 hour stretches and a few magical 6 or 7 hour stretches, we are back to waking up every hour all night long. I'm going back to work in less than 2 months and I simply can't function with such little sleep. And I'm starting to dread going to bed at night....not a nice place to be.

We have an appointment with a ped. next week and if everything checks out ok then we are going to go ahead and try to night wean. I am seriously terrified of it. DD is VERY attached to nursing at night. She has a complete fit if I don't nurse her right away and freaks out even more if my DP tries to comfort her. We have always co-slept and DD does not take a bottle.

So, we are going to try the following things probably in this order until something works:

1. Try sleeping with DP between DD and I
2. Keep a sippy cup next to the bed for DP to offer
3. Put DD down in a toddler bed in our room (she's never slept in a crib...maybe a few naps when she was younger)
4. I will try sleeping in another room
5. A combo of NCSS/Dr. Jay Gordon with both DP and I in the same bed

My questions for anyone who has successfully night weaned at this age....how long did you let your little one cry in your arms before "giving up"? 5 minutes? 30 minutes? How "bad" did they actually cry? As I said, DD really, really gets upset and screams and almost throws up sometimes...like when I've had to get up to use the bathroom and she wants to nurse. She has great comprehension but there is no reasoning with her when we are in the middle of it at night. I have pretty much zero wait time when DD starts crying and respond to her immediately and always have. ETA: Getting DD to fall asleep is very easy with nursing..usually 10 minutes of nursing does it. She also only wakes for a minute or two to nurse then falls back to sleep immediately.

[D_McG]

I think the longest DS (who was 22 mos at the time) cried was about 20 minutes. I wish I could remember with my DD (and I should, because it was more recent). She was 20 mos and I was in another room. Maybe about the same? Maybe less. She was generally easier because I have always been much more hands off with her crying with DH. Like I would run if my DS was crying with DH. With DD I sometimes work at night so I couldn't. And also I just figured it was better all round if she got used to DH. I tried not to reinforce her instinctive belief that the world ended when the boobs were out of sight

I will say for both of mine that MY attitude was really important. I had to keep calm and confident. I knew that it really was not a big deal for them to sleep snuggled up to me without nursing . I needed to convey that to them as well as I could. So no guilt or nervousness was apparent to them. Just reassurance and 1000% confidence that we were doing the right thing. The ONLY option really. With both of them I was weaning fully and so continuing to nurse at night was simply off the table.

Best of luck!

[carmen358]

Thanks so much for sharing your experience. And thanks for the reminder to make sure my attitude is in the right place. I do tend to panic/get upset/get frustrated/cry/blah blah blah after the 10th wake up so I know I really have to work on keeping calm.

20 minutes sounds so short but I've listened to DD wail for 30 seconds while I'm in the bathroom and it seems like a lifetime.

Thanks again for your support!

[carmen358]

Anyone else care to share their wisdom and experience?

[lolcatmom]

I'm in the midst of trying to night wean. It seems like we make small steps of progress several months apart. DD is 22 months now and at about 18 months and then at 20 months I started using some of the techniques from The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers. I've also taken a look at Jay Gordon's article online and found it helpful. DD has cried in my arms for about 20-30 minutes at the worst before falling asleep. But that only lasted a couple of nights, then she seemed to make the leap and do well. My favorite Dr. Sears quote is that there is a world of difference between a child crying in the loving arms of a parent and crying it out alone. I've found that as DD gets older we can talk it through more in preparation for night-weaning, eg. mommy-milk is going to sleep, baby sleep too; or try no mommy-milk at night, but mommy-milk ok in the day. She's become attached to a lovey as well, which helps a lot since she has never taken to a pacifier.

Hope this helps!

[carmen358]

Last night...on a whim lol....I sang to DD/cuddled when she woke up the first time. She started her usual 'sit up and FLIP out' but I started singing right away and she got really quiet in literally 2 minutes and lay down with me and went back to sleep after cuddling and smiling at me for about 5 minutes! I realize it was probably a fluke but I was surprised nonetheless. Still planning on starting next weekend if all goes well...

Thanks for the additional feedback!

Keep the tips/experiences coming! :)