need help natural birth or scary c-cetion

[sunbunnie]

hi I'm sorry if this is in the wrong spot i have read lots on hear about 4TH degree tears but i have my own concerns

My first labour went for 46 hours in that time i had 2-3 pethidine shots i didn't need they were just jab in and told me after ( they said this was because i was in full labour and not dilated) i was told i had to get induced and have a epidural after 39 hours ( I'm fine with that) my bub came 7 hours later but the midwife would not let me get up and move during the birth i had to lay flat on my back with my legs up pushing on my mum and partner i ask to turn the eppi down so i could feel when to push but was told i could feel it just fine hmm my son crowned and all was fine but the midwife said i got to slack and didn't push when i was meant to so she pulled bub out by the shoulder. I got a 4Th degree tear i recovered a few weeks later  what i want to know is there anything you would recommend for me to do this time I'm a little scared i will get another bad tear but having my bub any other way is scaring the bejeause out of me

this time i would like to go pain meds free !!!

I'm going to talk to the midwifes and try to get help to but I'm scared also of having 4 midwifes like the last time ( as there shifts were up)

also my bub was 9pond 10 yikes

any help welcome

[ArcticRose]

Definitely talk to your midwife! Express all your concerns, including having to deal with other midwives. If you don't like her responses, start looking for a new midwife.

Try to remember that this is your baby and your body and you are in charge. Don't let anyone bully you into anything you don't want. Maybe hire a Doula who can help you get the labor you want, that way you would have at least one advocate with you the entire time.

I hope you can have a much better birth experience this time around!