3 Year Old uses his sucky (pacifier) as his comfort item

[Spencesmom]

Hi moms!  I don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not (so much for trusting my mothering instinct huh?). My 3 year old little guy has stopped using his soother during the day, however he still "needs" it for sleep and if he's hurt and needs a bit more comforting than just mommy's kiss.  He has no other transitional objects that he uses for "security" unless you count me as one! ;)  We tried to convince him that on his third birthday he could give his suckies to the new babies who didn't have any but needed them.  He got physically upset and said "No mommy - I NEED these!  Can we give them these instead?" as he pulled out his prized toys.  I'm taking this to mean that he really does hold a connection to these and it pains me to think I'm doing the wrong thing by either letting him keep it or taking it away from him. (as a side note, he just sucks on it to fall asleep, then he takes it out and doesn't sleep with it the rest of the night because it is usually wedged under my back! *ouch* so i'm not worried about his teeth)  I'm at a complete loss... help?!?

thanks to all for reading

[luv my 2 sweeties]

My dd kept her pacifier until she was 4, and let me tell you, I wasted so much time and psychological energy worrying about it!  (Seeing toddlers and preschoolers with pacifiers had been one of my pet peeves pre-kids, so I was pretty hung up about it.)  But like your ds, she really did seem to get something out of it. 

Let him keep it for now.  Try again when he turns 4 or at some other milestone a few months down the road.  My dd had a little friend (also a paci addict) who told her that she *had* to give it up when she turn 4 -- obviously repeating what *he* had been told!  She believed him and didn't seem overly upset about it, so we went with it.  She was a little sad, but not too bad.  It went well.

Now that dd is going on 11, I can't believe I thought the pacifier was such a big deal.  Trust me, it's not.  He's using it to sooth himself when he needs a little "extra", that's all.  Once he outgrows the need for it, breaking the pacifier habit will be much easier.  It's just not that time for him yet, sounds like.  :o)

[JudiAU]

DS still uses a pacifier sometimes at nap and nightime and he is almost four. On the plus side, he still naps regularly at almost four. It clearly has a need for suck, he only uses it at bedtime, and it has been almost two years since it was allowed outside the area so no nighttime / walking around etc.

He is fine. No issues with his teeth. And if he had issues, eh, I figure I am stuck for braces for other reasons. There is no documented scientific evidence that effects growth anyway.

[beebalmmama]

Ds gave up his paci at 3, but he sounded much more willing than your little guy to give it up. We ended up losing the last one we had (and dh found it a few days later) but by then ds was doing great. However he also only had his at night/naps/car at about 18 months forward. But then like your ds it was his only "lovey". He never really took to being comforted by anything else....well except for "nursies".

I would let him keep it and maybe bring it up again in a few to six months.

[pbjmama]

I would (and have) let me kids keep theirs. I would say your ds is letting you know he still needs his.