Processing A Bad Situation

[Aeress]

Something happened to my best friend's dd and it has really scared me. I can't give details, since this is a very private matter but it is on the list of scariest things that could happen to a child.

 How do I process this so I can be there for her? I have moments of panic, thinking about it. I have known her and her family since I was 5. I have had sleepovers at her house. Her Mom has alzheimers, and while she is capable of caring for herself at the moment, it may mean a move for her Mom. The whole thing is horribly, sad, and life changing. I don't know what to do to help her.

 I felt so sick yesterday and today I have had some anxiety on and off. 

Any advice on processing this for myself, so I can help her?

[Linda on the move]

Care for yourself in the same ways that you would if you had experienced a trauma, because you are experiencing this as a personal trauma. Different things for work different people, but talking to a counselor, doing yoga, journaling, etc. are useful tools.

I'm sorry so for what you, your friend, and her child are going through.

peace

Edited by Linda on the move - 5/6/11 at 6:05pm

[yarngoddess]

I think, given the gravity of the situation and your relationship with the mom, I would offer to bring over some meals, help clean- anything that might lighten the load on mom. She needs a friend- she may not want to talk, but just knowing that you are there for HER will give her some support. A good friend can be there to wipe the tears, provide a much needed laugh, or just to Be there with her. Ya know?  I don't think that there's ever a "Right" thing you can do- just be yourself and let her know that you are there if she has a need of you- cooking, cleaning, helping with her mom, laundry, driving errands. 

Also, remember to take care of you. I know that when something happens to my friends it feels very much like it's happened to me :(  You are a wonderful woman that clearly loves your friend. I think that alone will be a huge support and source of love for her.  You all will be in my thoughts.

[treegardner]

I agree, helping out with regular day to day stuff would be very helpful to your friend. I would also seek counseling for yourself.