I am not a pacifier!

[Taos Mountain Mama]

OK - some advice and a little help would be greatly appreciated:

I'm a first time mama to a 3 month old girl - love of my life. However, we've been encountering a problem lately:

She just wants to suck suck suck on the boobie! This happens a lot, but especially in the evening hours when she's struggling to get her afternoon nap in. I KNOW she can't be hungry because she has drained both breasts; I think it's just her sucking instinct is really strong.

We were so resistant to a pacifier at first that now she refuses to take one, although we have tried.... a few different types.

It's not that she's crying her eyes out when she's not sucking, she is just extremely fussy, and the breast is the only thing that calms her down. She's learning to suck on her own hand, which helps a little bit, but not always.

Advice from mamas? My nipple is going to fall off.

[ZakareyasMama]

No advice really... DS does the same thing, but it doesn't bother me much. I just know when it's coming and settle in on the couch with something to entertain me. Other ways he can fall asleep without the boob are with vibration from his chair and movement from the car or stroller. I've heard some like being in a swing or swaddled, those don't work for him. Also if you can get someone else to hold her she may be less cranky. I think they can smell our milk... 

I know it can be hard, but just remember, she won't be a babe in your arms forever! 

[ShwarmaQueen]

Both mine did it too. Completely normal. Although when we figured out that DS was TT we realized he was probably genuinely hungry and / or in pain. But anyway, is he gaining well? Any other things to mention? Fussiness? Pain? Drooling? If not, he's probably just acting like a normal breastfed baby.

We found out DS really liked the stroller so when I reached the end of my rope, I would feed him and then DH would take him on a walk to give me a breather. Then we he got older it was the swing outside. It won't be long before he needs you less, I promise.

Hang in there!

[woodchick]

One thing that helped me was to forget the difference between comfort nursing and actual nursing.  I just put our girls to the breast whenever they needed it and 'assumed' that they were eating.  I have never referred to myself as a pacifier, I was just a mama nursing her babe.

Which is not to say that I never felt touched out or frustrated by it.  I just found that the term 'comfort nursing' felt (to me) like a copout reason to not nurse. If she needed the breast, she needed the breast and reason wasn't important to me.

Stroller, swing, someone else are all good ways to distract for a little while while mama gets a break!

Also, we had HUGE growth spurts here around 3 months.  That made the girls really whiny, needy and fussy all of the time but mostly during the arsenic hours (4-8pm).  They did grow and eventually the nursing went back to normal.

[beebalmmama]

Well if it makes you feel any better my first ds was like this too AND he took a pacifier. He just knew which one he wanted when he wanted it. We nursed around the clock because he also liked to take his time. However I did have a strong let down and so when he really didn't want more milk he would let go.

I would try not to worry about it too much, it won't last forever. It really won't. Is it making you sore though?  I know if my LO's weren't really sucking very strong then they ended up sucking on the end of my nipple which made them raw. That's another thing entirely. I'm okay with them nursing without taking much milk but not if it means you get blisters or something.

[mamazee]

It sounds like it could be a growth spurt. That's how they signal your body to make more milk.

[tdot mama]

my lo is 100% addicted to me boobie! I nurse him to nap and to sleep.  He can pacify for hours if i let him but I learned about the Pantley Pull Off which has been helping! 

I especially have to dislodge him when he is just pacifying on the tip of my nipple - that is the most irritation feeling ever!!!

Good luck! :)

[Twinklefae]

Sounds like a growth spurt to me too.  They are very frustrating!  Also, remember that your breasts are never actually drained - milk is constantly being produced.

[MamaofLiam]

Originally Posted by mamazee 

It sounds like it could be a growth spurt. That's how they signal your body to make more milk.

 I totally second this. There would be periods where my DS would be on me constantly. At the time I thought it was because I didn't have enough milk (b/c I didn't think he was getting anything), but I also could have thought he was just comfort sucking as well. A couple days later I would have huge surges of a lot more milk. This happened quite a few times. I eventually learned not to worry about it too much b/c I knew a couple days later more milk would be coming in and then he would be on me less. 

Maybe this isn't your situation, but it could be. Just my 

[D_McG]

When my first did this I just kind of sucked it up. With my second i couldn't . I had been burnt out already. If i felt my skin crawling I just stopped and found with enough distraction she moved on quickly.

[milkybean]

It does sound like a growth spurt.

That said, to me, I was indeed a pacifier!  Or rather a "pacifier" is a plastic substitute for the mother's nipple.  It's for when you cannot actually use the real nipple to "pacify" the baby's need for sucking. 

I'm not saying I never started to kinda silently scream...but baby's needs trumped mine (I even learned to use the bathroom without interrupting his nursing) so I just grabbed another novel and continued on...

Discovered the concept of multiple let-downs while doing this, too!  Kiddo got nice and milked up, that's for sure.

[expat-mama]

Yes- growth spurt! Babies also need to regularly adjust the milk supply. Like a PP said, you'll find after a couple of days of this constant nursing, your milk supply will drastically increase and you little one will be soo pleased with all the new milk and will be satisfied at the breast quicker and easier.

Yes also to the PP who said to forget about comfort nursing vs. feeding. Babies that small NEED the boob. They love it so much... my husband use to say to me when I would get frustrated "Just look at how much he loves nursing, how much he loves YOU! I can never give him that feeling- warmth, love, comfort- he feels perfection when he is nursing all cuddled up with you." And I would look down at him and realize that it really WAS amazing that I could make him feel so good and safe and happy.

Also, remember- it doesn't last forever. My DS is 10 months now and a lot of the time he gulps his milk down quickly and then sits up trying to crawl away! He's all business now. I sometimes miss those long nursings with my little boy when I could also relax and read or whatever for more than 10 minutes at a time.

[Mama2Kayla]

Originally Posted by expat-mama 

Yes- growth spurt! Babies also need to regularly adjust the milk supply. Like a PP said, you'll find after a couple of days of this constant nursing, your milk supply will drastically increase and you little one will be soo pleased with all the new milk and will be satisfied at the breast quicker and easier.

Yes also to the PP who said to forget about comfort nursing vs. feeding. Babies that small NEED the boob. They love it so much... my husband use to say to me when I would get frustrated "Just look at how much he loves nursing, how much he loves YOU! I can never give him that feeling- warmth, love, comfort- he feels perfection when he is nursing all cuddled up with you." And I would look down at him and realize that it really WAS amazing that I could make him feel so good and safe and happy.

Also, remember- it doesn't last forever. My DS is 10 months now and a lot of the time he gulps his milk down quickly and then sits up trying to crawl away! He's all business now. I sometimes miss those long nursings with my little boy when I could also relax and read or whatever for more than 10 minutes at a time.

So very true!

[BenimBebek]

I am so sorry youre struggling with this.  I have a 5 month old who spends the ENTIRE DAY on me.  I hate it. Im just sucking it up.  I can put him down for maybe 10 minutes at a time.  He never naps.  10 minutes at the most as long as Im holding him.  Even when he isnt pretending to eat, I have to hold him or he throws a back arching fit.  When people ask me about breastfeeding I am super honest.  I absolutely hate it and cannot wait until its over.  I literally get NOTHING done during the day.  I cannot imagine if I had a job.  As it is my 4 yr old is totally neglected.  I have no idea why my son is so needy, but I do know one thing, no matter how annoying they are as babies, you will cry and miss that time very shortly.  So, I just try to accept I am no longer a person and can do nothing for myself and feed him.  I have gained about 15lbs SINCE he was born, because I spend ALL of my time sitting on the couch while he "eats" or whatever it is he thinks hes doing.  And I find myself eating more than I should, because I have to cook/eat really quick while he is happy.  Then I realize Im stuffed... I have tried to walk around and dance with him, but I havent lost any weight.  

I also have to sleep holding him... or he wakes up.  haha.  Its truly unbelievable.  My daughter was sooo easy.  So I was totally blind sided by this one.  It will be over soon :)  try to make the best of it.  Ive found once I just accepted this was my new life and stopped trying to make him fit into my old life I stopped crying every day.  But its hard.  And I enjoyed my daughter so much as a baby, that I feel kind of guilty wishing for my son to grow up... I feel like Im really missing out on enjoying him.  But hes just so much work.  Whenever people comment on what a happy baby he is (and it happen NON-STOP) Im like, "he better be, I'll hold him and nurse him all day long, the kid never gets set down"  The weirdest part, he is already crawling and has been since about 4 1/2 months... my DD crawled at 8 months and I set her down all the time.  Just goes to show you how different every kid is.  He was rolling over both back to front and front to back on both sides before 4 months.  My husband and I are like, when does he have time to practice???

We have been taking him to a cranial sacral therapist at the recommendation of our primary care doctors.  that has helped with the crying problems we had int he beginning.  but he still nurses for 30-45 minutes every hour.  He's 17lbs!  I dont think its a production issue either.  I hand pumped for 5 minutes and got 5 ozs.  So, theres plenty of milk in there I think.  I did have to switch back a forth a bunch, not sure if that matters.  

Anyways, I hate to be a downer, but I know exactly how you feel and its driving me absolutely up the wall.  And no amount of knowing your doing the right thing makes it better.  Im still going to breastfeed and sleep with him until he's ready to move on, but it wont be for any reason other than its whats best for him.  Because it totally sucks :(  Mine refuses all pacifiers and all bottles as well.  I had court and he literally starved himself for 4 hours until I got back rather than drink pumped milk from any number of bottles my husband offered to him.  I had to bring him to court every other time.  haha.  like, excuse the constantly breastfeeding child your honor. haha.

[MaerynPearl]

I agree with pretty much everything that has been posted. Mine does it too. Sometimes it signals a growth spurt, sometimes she just wants comfort, sometimes it signals teething (which probably doesn't apply to you yet, but is something to keep in mind for the future)

I just get comfy when she gets cranky, because I know I'm going to be there for a while no matter if she's hungry or not. It's part of why I got an iPod touch, now I can do my internet stuff while laying in bed and nursing.

And a big part of why I use the word "nursing" is that it doesn't just mean feeding, but does encompass pretty much everything breastfeeding does for the child.

In addition to my 7 month old (who has done this almost her entire 7 months with a few spurts of it being worse and a few other spurts of not doing it) I also have a 5 year old and 8 year old so I know, all too well, this phase does not last long at all, enjoy it while you still can. Before you know it you will be running after a toddler and wishing for the days where all she wanted to do was lay in bed on mommys breast.

[St. Margaret]

Didn't read it all but you could try offering your pinky (upturned) for sucking. Dd lived on my boob but ds adores the pinky. He only nurses to eat. It was really disconcerting after dd! I get it but remember it's all gonna change soon. Sooth your nipples with some good cream or whatnot and get a good setup-- with dd I had the remote or laptop handy, now it's my iPhone. Kinda fun when ds nap nurses now!

Hang in there!!!