Definitely read the Elllyn Satter book. And, honestly, there were a few points early into it where I was having the "WHAA???? " reaction. Keep reading, and it will come together and make more sense.
The hardest thing for me to get over, really, was the "Clean Your Plate" mentality. It's a relief, once you read her books, to realize that if we relax and provide good options, our kids will eventually come 'round.
I used to work for Cooperative Extension as a Family/Consumer Sciences specialist. We recommended this book to all the parents who were worrying about childhood nutrition and about picky eaters. It's very well-researched and respected.
My eldest is not a picky eater. She's adventurous, and literally told the Ped at her three year appointment that her favorite vegetable is eggplant. She'll eat almost anything (or at least, try almost anything) - except french fries! Not a bad thing in the end, I haven't worked really hard to try to convince her that french fries are awesome.
Our youngest, though, is picky. It's tough. It's frustrating. She's on multivitamins to hopefully make up the difference, and I work to incorporate as many healthy, fiber-and-nutrient-rich foods as possible into her diet. But it's difficult. I think she comes by it naturally (dh is a very picky eater). However, we have gradually made progress. She is eating a few more foods this year than last year. She brags that broccoli is her favorite food, and requests raw broccoli every time we have raw veggies. She's only nibbled a bit of it, but she wants it every time. That's a first step - she'll get there. She told me one day, "Mom, when I'm your age, I'll eat that," when I was trying to convince her to try some vegetable. (This is another reassurance that Satter offers - that kids who see their parents eating a wide variety of healthy foods are more likely to grow up and eat a wide variety of healthy foods, even if they are 'picky' as kids.)
You need to get your dh on board. My dh fakes it sometimes. It helps that I've faked it too (I loathe mushrooms, both girls say they like them, and dd1 actually does like them, as does dh - so I make them, and eat them, because it's something dd2 is enthusiastic about). Dh knows that it's not healthy for him to have such a limited diet, and he works on it, and doesn't want the girls growing up with a similarly limited diet. Talking with our Ped, I suspect that dh would have benefited a great deal as a kid from an OT referral to work on sensory issues with foods - his complaints are never about the flavors of foods, but about the textures instead. For instance, he loves the scent of onions cooking, he loves the flavor of onions - he loathes the feel of cooked onions in his mouth.
It is still difficult for me to make a meal that I know dh and dd2 aren't going to want to eat. Dh will choke it down, but dd2 won't and it seems wasteful. But she's not going to expand her horizons and try new foods unless she sees new foods. I can't cater just to the things she eats. Dd1 was allergic to legumes as an infant, dh doesn't like dry beans, so we hadn't really eaten them even though dd1 outgrew her allergy. This winter, she had chili for the first time and LOVES it. So, I have been making batches of chili and freezing portions so she and I can have chili at meal times. Dd2 was terribly curious about the beans, and demanded to try them (!!) - she eats a bean or two every time I make beans for chili, tells me they are delicious and taste like potatoes. She won't eat the chili because of the "vegetables" in it. But we'll get there .... as a toddler, she loved stewed tomatoes as a vegetable. Then suddenly decided she didn't like cooked tomatoes (or any tomatoes), to the extent that a couple months ago she began refusing marinara sauce, which used to be a go-to favorite of hers. Then, last week, while I was making chili, she asked me to heat up some tomatoes for her to have as her vegetable that day (?!). And she ate about half a can of tomatoes!
Long story short -read the book. Patience. There's light at the end of the tunnel, really there is. Patience.