Just hoping for some hope....

[vickytoria]

I was a single parent to my daughter and she was everything to me..... i left my partner because he continued to smoke weed around her and we were arguing... I left him to protect her....

but then due to the stress of the break up i became ill.... i went into hospital and was diagnosed with pychosis and depression.... she was five years old and i had not been getting her to school and had been struggling for a few months.... 

she went to the care of my aunt whilst i was in hospital... but then my ex came to the hospital and convinced me to allow her to stay with him saying that he would bring her to visit me every day... i should not have been allowed to make such a life changing decision with the state of my health...

anyway she went to live with him and he did not bring her to see me... i had to have supervised visits at a sure start centre... the social services concluded that if she was to live with me again i would have to have parenting lesons and that in their opinion she should live with her dad... i told them about the cannabis use... to no avail... I was a brilliant mum who loved my daughter... i fed her all organic food and encouraged lots of arts and crafts... this devastated me...

any way i could go on all day but i wont bore you... he became controlling and stopping me from seeing her whenever it suited... I took him to court... the cafcas report went against me from the start... they are so concerned about my mental health problems that they even commented in the report that i was able to hold a conversation... which i found completley offensive...  when on my medication i have the same ability to parent my daughter as any one else.... i feel discriminated against... my ex to this day says he is protecting her from me and he talks to me like a piece of trash... he is using all the courts and the cafcas and anyhting he can against me.... I do not know any of her friends...i do not know what she does at school... what stories has she written... it's heart breaking.... he wont let me in the house... i have no dought that he is probably smoking the weed or worse and thats why i am not allowed in...  i feel he is taking revenge on me and because i have a named and specified mental illness the whole system backs him up... I am from a good family who all have good important jobs and we take part in our local comuninity....  he makes me feel like an outsider in my daughters life.. :-(

sorry to go on but believe me i could write a thesis...

[Holland73]

My heart goes out to you and your situation.  Dealing with mental illness is not easy, but when there are children involved it is even more difficult.  Plus, society's view of mental illness makes it even more complicated. 

It is not fair that your X has withheld contact (of any type) between you and your daughter.  You should be able to receive letters from your daughter, updates about her, phone calls from her, etc. while you are getting your life back together and demonstrating you have your illness under control.   

My suggestion:  stay on your meds, work actively with your psychiatrist (do not cancel any of your appointments) to maintain the right dosages and do everything you need to do to prove you are stable again.  Do not attack your X (it makes you look bad, don't give him the pleasure!), attend every supervised visitation and continue to stay on top of your illness.  

[tccandlsccmom]

The fact that you are posting shows you are on the road.  Keep working to be the best you ... which will make you a better mom to your little girl.  Keep the faith!