Grandparent's Name

[3shortyzmom]

All opinions needed!!!

I have three children ages 13, 6 & 1; which were the only grandchildren on my side of the family until 3 months ago.  My oldest son started calling my Mom (his Grandmother) Mimi which inturn my other two children have as well.  That was her name and it stuck and she use to be proud to wear the title!  Now my brother has had his 1st child who is 3 months old and insists that our Mom's name is Grandma and that she will no longer be called Mimi b/c he doesn't want his son to have any part in calling her that.  My brother and Mother have even gone as far as trying to make my 13yr old son feel uncomfortable by telling him he is too old and to big to being calling his Grandmother Mimi b/c he looks ridiculous!

Please help...my childrens feelings are all I am truly worried about!!!!

[swede]

If this forum (Q & S) is moderated, why do posts like this get through?  Why not just automatically redirect it to the appropriate forum?  Just something I've wondered about for a while now...

[3shortyzmom]

Swede, if your bothered by what other post...why not just ignore it rather than waste your time and others by leaving snide remarks.  I certainly don't need my time wasted by it!  If it's not something important or relevant to you move on....

[swede]

Originally Posted by 3shortyzmom 

Swede, if your bothered by what other post...why not just ignore it rather than waste your time and others by leaving snide remarks.  I certainly don't need my time wasted by it!  If it's not something important or relevant to you move on....

I apologize - I am not bothered by your post, it's just that this post would be better for parenting.  Questions and Suggestions is for questions about how the board works, not really questions like yours.  Sorry for the confusion.

PS _ Welcome to MDC :)

[Cynthia Mosher]

I don't recall approving this post but maybe I did and just forgot to move it. Moving to Parenting....

[sebandg'smama]

Welcome to MDC!

I am sorry that your kids are being made to feel uncomfortable over what is a sweet term of endearment.

Is it an issue with your mother or just your brother?  If you mom doesn't like it, then I would just help your children transition to the name she wants.

If it's just your brother's issue, than I would remind him that everyone has many names, he can call her Grandma, your kids can continue to call her Mimi.

In our family the older grandchildren of my SIL started calling my husband's grandmother "Nana the Great"  years before my kids were born.  Due to family dynamics that would take me too long to get into...my dh felt it sounded disrespectful and my kids call her  "Great Nana".

What's most important is the relationship between your kids and their grandmother and I hope that your mother is open to discussing their feelings with you.  Perhaps she doesn't know how important it is to them?

[Everrgreen]

So your mother is also telling the kids not to call her mimi anymore?  Is that due to pressure from the brother or her own opinion?  I think you need to talk to your mom and find out if she is ok with your kids calling her mimi.  If she is then your brother needs to mind his own business!  But if she's not she should still understand that this will be a transition for the kids and you really don't want them being made fun of for something that up until now has been ok.

[Alyantavid]

What's your mom say about it? 

I think it's ridiculous to tell a 13 year old he can't call his grandma the name he's called her his entire life.  Tell your brother his child is free to call Grandma whatever they want, just as your children will.  And definitely put a stop to any comments to your children.

[onlyzombiecat]

Originally Posted by 3shortyzmom 

All opinions needed!!!

I have three children ages 13, 6 & 1; which were the only grandchildren on my side of the family until 3 months ago.  My oldest son started calling my Mom (his Grandmother) Mimi which inturn my other two children have as well.  That was her name and it stuck and she use to be proud to wear the title!  Now my brother has had his 1st child who is 3 months old and insists that our Mom's name is Grandma and that she will no longer be called Mimi b/c he doesn't want his son to have any part in calling her that.  My brother and Mother have even gone as far as trying to make my 13yr old son feel uncomfortable by telling him he is too old and to big to being calling his Grandmother Mimi b/c he looks ridiculous!

Please help...my childrens feelings are all I am truly worried about!!!!

It is up to your mom what she wants to be called but If she did not dislike the name for 13 years I wonder why she wants to change now and potentially hurt her older grandchildren's feelings.

I would discuss with her and your brother that not all the grandchildren have to use the same name for her. I would tell them that Mimi was a special affectionate name for her and they are being hurtful to your ds by saying he is ridiculous for using it.

[ollyoxenfree]

I think your mother should decide what she'd like to be called. So I would clarify her wishes by having an honest talk with her about what she wants.

She and your brother should not be making a child feel badly, though, by mocking or demeaning him. I would step in if that is happening and state, gently but firmly, that your children will call her whatever she wants, but that it isn't appropriate to mock or tease them into it. Explain that it might take them a while to get used to using a new name, and they might forget at first. Then help your children follow through. 

I don't think all grandchildren have to use the same name for a grandparent. If your mother doesn't mind Mimi, then I see no problem if your children call her Mimi and their cousins call her Grandma. Kids are pretty smart, usually, and can figure these things out. 

[Adaline'sMama]

This would really irritate me. Not because I think grandma's dont have the right to decide what they are called, but because she is obviously showing that she cares more about what your brother wants than what you want.

[new2this]

I say one on one find out what your mom really thinks about it. Personally your brother needs to back off and know that his kids will call their grandparents whatever it is they chose to do.

Out of 8 grandkids I am the third oldest I called my grandpa Poppie. My bother and the rest followed suit. I am however the only one who still refers to him as that and always will. The rest grew out of it and went to calling him grandpa on their own it wasn't forced at all. I think my brother was around 12 the rest were 7 and younger. The younger ones I think did it to follow my bother because they wanted to be like him. The oldest two just always referred to him as grandpa first name. 

[treegardner]

I would ask your mom what she wants to be called.

 

[AislinCarys]

Well, I can say that my cousins (on both sides) always called our grandparents different names from my siblings and I. And DD is calling her grandmother a different name from the other grandkids. I don't see how it matters as long as the grandmother doesn't mind. But it would bother me if she was telling my child to stop using a name she'd always used. Especially if it is just because the parents of the other grandkids don't want their kids to hear the other name. And I'd be really offended if my mother or MIL ridiculed my child to get her to stop anything at all!

[Lisa1970]

There is nothing wrong with one set of grandchildren calling them grandma and grandpa and the other mimi and whatever the other name is.

[Lisa1970]

I should add that no one should make fun of your children for what they call the grandparents. I have had the same issue. My children called the grandparents Grandma and Grandpa and the first name. So, Grandma Carol and so on. But when my sister and dh's sister had children, after us, they insisted on other names. MIL wants Nana and Papa, which no way to Papa..that means dad. I don't care if other cultures use Papa for grandpa, the culture we are from and we were raised in, Papa means dad. My side suddenly wants to go by Mimi and Papa. Both sides make a huge issue of being called Grandpa this and Grandma that.