TTC while nursing... when do you quit trying while nursing and wean?

[sunshineshara]

Hi everyone

My first post here - it's been great following the threads and learning from everyone else. Now, I have my own question and need some advice/ encouragement.

I have a 26 month old who is still nursing - not very frequently anymore, as I've started night-weaning and restricting nursings where possible (it's been going slow since we co-sleep). DD is in daycare during the week so doesn't nurse during the day but she loves nursing. She nurses a short while at bed time (but not to sleep) and has a two hour marathon in the mornings. She's still not sleeping through the night and wakes around 4am or so to ask for 'milkies' (which I refuse) and I'm generally then so exhausted that she just helps herself at 6am and has a long nursing marathon until 8am when I get up for work.

We've been TTC for 9 months, charting for 6 months. PP AF started at 14 months with very irregular cycles (55 -70 days or so) and sort of more regular now (32 day cycles for last two cycles) but with short (<8 days LP), not much EWCM the whole 6 months I've been charting.

I'm getting pretty discouraged as I know several moms (from my first maternity leave) who've had to completely wean in order to conceive (one mom who literally conceived the next cycle after weaning); though I also know several moms who conceived while nursing, too.

My question is - at what point do you realize you probably need to wean in order to conceive? I'm getting frustrated and starting to feel inklings of resentment during nursing as I realize the age gap between any sibling is getting bigger by the day :( I had really hoped for a two year gap and never dreamed TTC #2 would take this long or be so hard :(

Any insights, encouragement? I feel so selfish and heartsore when I refuse 'milkies' as DD still seems so dependent on our nursing times.

[mamaforever]

Hi, I don't have experience with nursing and TTC, but I'm having similar problems with my cycle.  I went off BCP in January and my luteal phase has been only 8 days long since then and no EWCM.  My son is is 28 months and I really want to get pregnant this summer (hoping for a spring baby!).

This last cycle I started taking Vitex and Red Raspberry Leaf and I am currently 12 dpo and still no period!  Having an 8 day luteal phase would prevent a fertilized egg from attaching because the uterus lining would start shedding before the egg had a chance to implant.  So that could be your problem for not being pregnant yet.  The Red Raspberry Leaf has also helped with more EWCM for me.

I can't remember from my research if these herbs are safe while breastfeeding, but I think they are???  I recommend you do some research on them!  I'm so glad they were recommended to me as they seem to be working! 

Good luck!

[Jaimee]

I have conceived both of my subsequent children while nursing, but I do know several women that had to fully nightwean or fully wean in order to get pg.  I had very short LP's for a long time pp with my first- well over a year.  The longest LP I had I think was 9 days until I ended up m/c when dd was 25 months old (she had just started STTN).  My LP was 16 days long, extremely faint HPT, and then an especially crampy period.  I had one normal cycle the next month and conceived the following month with 5 day old sperm.  Go figure!  I think the early m/c really got my body back into gear.  With #3, we conceived after just one extremely irregular pp cycle with a 4 day LP and no CF whatsoever.  Ds was 14 months old and nursing frequently at night and during the day.  Again, go figure.  So much for CTA!

So, my advice to you would be to fully nightwean since it sounds like you're on that path already.  Your dd will likely start to eat more solid foods and possibly nurse less during the day as she gets used to the adjustment.  You could also start taking vitamin B6 to try and help with your LP and increase your fluids- work at drinking 3-4 liters a day.  There are other things you can do to increase your CF... I saw a thread just a minute ago with a bunch of suggestions (I think it was called conceiving with tacky vs. EWCF).   But, it's possible that your body is like mine was, and just needs a few more cycles to get back to fertile.  Good luck!!