Is it weird to NOT "do" birthday parties for your school-age kids? - Page 2

[MissLotus]

I was the kid whose mother never gave a party for me.  I was used to it, yes - but it surely would have been nice to have even a small party for my friends once in a while.  It makes kids proud to be able to do that.  It would have been nice if my mother could have reached outside her comfort zone a bit; it's not really that hard to bake a cake and blow up some balloons.  It's great to have parties with just family but it's a fact that kids are going to make their own friends outside the family circle, and it will be nice for them to be able to share their big days with companions/peers they particularly enjoy.

For my son, I've never invited a huge group, never the whole class or anything, and never spend much money.  Each year we just invite the kids he's had regular playdates with in the previous months, and the ones who've invited him to their parties.  He feels good to be able to return the invitation, and it also keeps him in the social loop of things, which becomes increasingly important to them the older they get. 

[Bellabaz]

Growing up, my family never had friend parties. It wasn't a big deal. I went to a small school There were like 17-20 kids in my clas from 1st grade to 8th. Nobody cared if you didn't. DH has a summer bday so no parties there.

Dd1 has already had some friends who had parties, but fortuantely nothing huge, just a few friendly families over to play outside and have cake. This year we were on vacay for her 4th bday. Neither one of us is up for the rent-out-a-playspace, invite 25 people and feed kids 5 kilos of sugar type parties. If either dd asked, we would be cool with inviting maybe 3 friends to go to a park or a zoo and have a little snack/cake with us. But that is kinda our limit. For various reasons.

Here I don't feel the pressure and I know that there are kids who have had bdays in dd1's class and not invitied everyone. but it was very discreet and I only knew because I heard a kid talking about it during pickup. It didn't hurt my feelings but I am also not friends will all the parents. Heck, I don't even know most of their names. When I read posts here from the US, its seems there is more pressure to have a big bash and to be the favorite parent. Just my general impression.

[mattemma04]

We no longer do them,and the kids no longer attend parties either. It is not a big deal unless other kids are making it so by talking about it all day at school. We have felt it was a waste of money to host parties that were attended by school friends that are never seen outside of school(despite invites).

And the cost of attending atleast 20-30 parties a year got to be too expensive. I am fine with kids getting together and we actually do summer parties with food,sweets,and fun stuff-at home. Unfortunately a basic party is no longer *acceptable* for a birthday around here. Well,some people think more is better I guess.Even if we were rich I would not spend crazy on a birthday party.

A lot of local parties are either at other paid locations or the home ones have a paid entertainer. We can not afford these and the kids would want them if they saw them. Now that the kids are getting older they have some activity they want to do with a friend or 2.We still have our family party with cake and presents to acknowledge the special day.

Birthdays, like other holidays are what you want to make of them. Create your own traditions and forget the social pressures.

[mattemma04]

For our location I guess I would say it is weird not to have birthday parties for school ages kids.