Does breastfeeding feel good/calming/relaxing/blissful to you?

[crunchy_mommy]

Twice in the past week I've seen friends with babies just go into this super-relaxed, blissful state when they nursed. We talked about it & I was surprised that it was something so enjoyable for them, that they would be immediately flooded with this good feeling, etc.

I'm still nursing my 2.25-year-old and I can't say I've ever had any reaction like that. Sometimes I hate nursing, sometimes I just tolerate it, and sometimes I enjoy it, but the only reason I enjoy it is because I get to hold/cuddle/talk with DS, not because I get this wonderful feeling just by the act of nursing.

I'm kind of bummed that I seem to have missed out on this!!

Maybe it's the way DS nurses? He was always a constant nurser and if anything it felt good when he finally STOPPED for 10 minutes lol... Or maybe it's just me? Maybe it's because we had such a rough start or because of my own past issues or there's something hormonally wrong with me or something???

I mean, it's not a big deal, I nurse him because I know he needs it and it's not usually a horrible experience or anything, I have no plans on stopping and I will definitely do everything in my power to nurse all of my future children as well... but I was wondering if that blissful feeling was truly universal or if there are others that never got that???

[McGucks]

There was a good article about BFing on MDC awhile back:

http://mothering.com/breastfeeding/breathing-i-am-nursing-my-baby-breastfeeding-spiritual-practice

I notice I am often calmer during/after BFing and if I am in a stressful situation (ie:  WBV, IL's house, etc.) I kind of crave BFing.  But I am also a person who is more comfortable with quiet, 1-1 situations, so maybe that is why I feel that way.

I wonder if folks who have an easier time relaxing (like people who can "let go" during yoga or whenever) have more of the blissed-out response?  Interesting thread, though!

As far as past issues--I sure have them, and BFing was very hard for me at the beginning...pumping made me want to throw up--but I hung in there with DH's support, went to LLL, and went on to have what I consider to be a very good BFing relationship with our 13 m.o.!

[Chamomile Girl]

I'm not a big fan of the feeling of breastfeeding and, no, I have never had the blissed out feeling either.  Part of my ambivalence with breastfeeding is that my DS got teeth very early and he uses his top two teeth to hold on right above the nipple.  This does not feel good and as he has gotten older he sometimes also gets in a good chomp when he is impatient for let down.  Also, speaking of let down it feels like 1000 needles stabbing into my flesh..NOT something nice AT ALL.

Add to this all the kicking and poking and scratching, and doing everything he can to get his other hand in my shirt to twiddle, and...and...and.  Oh!  And the constant whining for boobie day and night, but especially whenever I sit down.

But I too love to cuddle with DS and nursing is the only time he will let me.  He is not a cuddly child.  So there is that.

[anjsmama]

I will say I failed at breastfeeding my first DS cause I was pretty clueless, so I only nursed him for 4 months and I hated every single nursing session. That is probably due to the pain and feeling of utter failure? And I felt the same way starting out this time with DD - it was like a nuisance.. she would just nurse and nurse and nurse and if anything, it made me feel sort of tied down (couldn't help DS) and I got mastitis and I was tired and it was just stressful. I was overproducing and let down hurt SO bad and her belly hurt so bad from the excess foremilk she'd just scream at the breast. I kept thinking - okay I've done this breastfeeding thing twice and I haven't felt ANY enjoyment like all these moms say! How do women do this?

But now she is 3 and a half months and I will say for the last month and a half I really have been experiencing that blissful kind of feeling when I nurse. It relaxes my whole body and my mind and there's this very deep satisfaction of providing for her and holding her.... Idk. I can't understand how I'm able to feel it now, but I do. I've returned to work in the last few weeks and when I'm gone (only 3 days/week) all I can think is how I can't wait to get home and nurse DD. I'm so impressed that you are still nursing at 2.25 without being able to feel this way.... KUDOS!!!!!!! Whether you have "missed" something or not, you can be sure your DS hasn't! 

[motherhendoula]

Well, breastfeeding is supposed to produce Oxytocin; Oxytocin's role in breastfeeding includes causing nipple erection, increasing blood flow to the breast and to the mother's skin (to keep the baby warm), enhancing the expression of instinctual behaviors (in mother and baby), contributing to the flow of nutrients from the blood into the mother's milk, giving the mother a feeling of calmness, increasing tolerance of pain, and enhancing wound healing. Because of the feelings of calmness and emotional connection oxytocin generates in the nursing mother, it is often called "the mothering hormone."  - from the LLL website....and Oxytocin alone is supposed to give mommies that blissed- out state.  I dunno, maybe different people react to Oxytocin differently? I nursed my DS#1 13 years ago and def felt it then....but now - well, i cant relax with this DS crawling all over me trying to emulate the great Hudini as we nurse......i do feel happy though - and sometimes DS#2 will giggle while hes nursing, mouth full of breast and all - then i will giggle , then he will giggle harder....and so on and so on.....there must be many other factors involved!

[ArcticRose]

I nursed DD for two years without ever feeling anything relaxing or blissful about it, other than the closeness with DD. We did have a rough start to our nursing relationship, and I had to use a pump for the first two months, which I hated. For the first year my boobs were sore most of the time, and nursing was painful more often than not. During the second year I didn't have the pain (except for the occasional bite, and toward the end when I was early in current pregnancy) and I loved the snuggles and smiles and just general closeness, but I wouldn't say I ever felt a hormonal reaction.

Maybe some of us just don't produce enough Oxytocin?

[D_McG]

I get that feeling nursing babies and again when I cut my young toddlers down to a reasonable number (say 3 times/day). Perma-nursing drives me nutso and I was so psyched when I figured out that I don't have to just suck it up like I did with my first! I got my bliss back

[SubliminalDarkness]

Nope. The best we ever did was just a nice cuddle moment of closeness. But breastfeeding has always hurt and it's not a good experience for me physically. 

[Mosaic]

I think it just depends. With my first, with the exception of the beginning, "getting the hang of it" phase and other issues here and there (teeth, distracted baby, etc.), it was super blissful and sweet and wonderful most of the time. Now with my second, we've been through the wringer and are still in feeding therapy (at 13 months), so this one has had maybe a few pleasant nursing sessions here and there.

So, maybe it depends in large part on the kiddo? So if you have another baby, you might get the super-awesome-wonderful-relaxing bfing your friends have!

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by Mosaic 

So, maybe it depends in large part on the kiddo? So if you have another baby, you might get the super-awesome-wonderful-relaxing bfing your friends have!

I sure hope so. There's a lot riding on this poor yet-to-be-conceived kid. S/he is going to be a calm, happy baby who hardly cries and doesn't mind being put down once in a while, who rarely spits up, doesn't overreact to random things, enjoys baby things, and I'm now adding to my list that s/he will make BF'ing blissful. Yeah I'm gonna be a bit bummed if/when that doesn't all happen!!

But glad to know it's not just me/DS.

[greenmulberry]

Nursing sometimes makes me feel sleepy, which is NOT bliss full when I am trying to get a babe to go to sleep and I am tired already, but is kind of relaxing when I get home from work.

[treeoflife3]

nursing can help me sleep sometimes, but I've never been blissed out either.  Or maybe I'm expecting too much?  I don't really like nursing though.  I do it for the same reason I change diapers - it just has to be done for her health and well being.  It sure seems to make her feel good though... I must not produce as much oxytocin as other women... or maybe kiddo steals it all in the milk hehehe

[averlee]

After a very uncomfortable pregnancy, a difficult birth, and an intense postpartum recovery, yes, breastfeeding gave me bliss. It never hurt and my baby started gaining weight right away, she never lost an ounce. It was the first part of the whole "being a mom" thing I felt like I could handle and even was good at.

I think my experience is not usual or common, most women seem to struggle. I'd read several books about breastfeeding, but so have many others who has less success than I did. I also have been around breastfeeding mothers & babies more than average, from the time I was a child, so I think maybe it all seemed more familiar and normal and comfortable than some women. Again, I'm not saying this is why it was easy & pleasant for me to nurse. 

Basically I think I struck it lucky. I very much admire the mothers who struggle to breastfeed, I'm not sure I would have been as dedicated, except that I found it easy.

[MamaofLiam]

Originally Posted by Chamomile Girl 

Add to this all the kicking and poking and scratching, and doing everything he can to get his other hand in my shirt to twiddle, and...and...and.  Oh!  And the constant whining for boobie day and night, but especially whenever I sit down.

Right now, I'm dealing with the above so breastfeeding hasn't felt good to me at all lately. But! When he was an infant I really did enjoy it. It was so nice and gentle, and yes, I got an indescribable "good" feeling while doing it. Just a really peaceful feeling. I wish it was still that way! 

[nstewart]

Well, reading the above responses I have to say I feel pretty darn lucky.  DS had a good latch from day 1 and I used to get a total blissed-out high when he latched on and my milk let down.  It was like a high that swept over me.  It was pretty awesome.  I don't get that feeling anymore though.  Maybe I have less of a hormonal response or I've just become accustomed to the level of hormones released.  I still usually enjoy nursing (when DS isn't trying to escape, pinching me, pulling my hair, putting his fingers in my mouth, or snapping my bra strap, lol.) and love the cuddles, but I miss the high now that I remember it!

[alittlesandy]

I went through three months of hell, bad latch, thrush, cracked and bleeding nipples, mastitis, etc. and my sister (bless her heart) kept saying "stick it out, stick it out, you can do it if you stick it out for at least 3-4 months. Sure enough, around the fifteenth or sixteenth week, everything clicked, my breasts healed, and there was no more pain.

After that, it was wonderful. I weaned my son at 2 because we are TTC and have fertility issues (and he was ready), but I loved every minute of bf-ing. What I really loved about it was the fact that I was allowed to "check out." I'm kind of an introvert, and of course, I was always exhausted, so for nap times and bedtime I could remove myself from gatherings and parties and go sit in a dark room and just bliss out. I could even "accidentally" fall asleep if I wanted. I even loved bf-ing in public! I never felt self-conscious doing it in front of others, and was surprised that nobody ever said anything negative. I had braced myself for all sorts of struggles.

If I get pregnant again, I'm hoping to nurse longer than two years.