Just SLEEEEEP, PLEEAAASSEEE!

[mamatoady]

I have about had it.  Here's the scoop.  Things have changed in my house.  I'm separated, getting divorced.  I have an 8 year old, 5 year old, and 21 month old.  The 5 and 21 month old have been off and on sick for the last 2.5 months.  I am going back to college.  I don't work outside the home.  All of my children have nursed (or are nursing) and weaned at about 3.5.

I can't take it anymore!  What worked with the first two is not working with my youngest.  I have so much responsibility and committment now that I am losing my mind when it comes to my almost 2 year old.  She doesn't have any words, just a little sign language.  She is demanding and LOUD.  The biggest problem is that she wakes up constantly to nurse while I'm trying to study.  She will not settle nicely and nurse while I'm at the computer.  She will throw an absolute fit because she wants me to lay with her for probably hours and nurse in the bedroom.  She has me all day--she's not missing out on any mama time.  When night comes, I NEED the kids asleep so I can get anything done and that's the last thing my little one will let me do.

I don't know how to change it.  I nursed at the beck and call of the other two.

Help!

Sarah

[sunnygir1]

(hugs)

I don't have any suggestions, really.  That must be really difficult and stressful for you.

Maybe you could try tweaking her bedtime.  Sometimes earlier or later bedtime can help shift these things.  Also maybe an earlier or shorter nap?  A bedtime snack?  A noise maker in the bedroom (fan, music, etc.)?

I guess I do have a few ideas.

[Mal85]

Have you thought about nightweaning? Do you have a break from school coming up soon that would give you some time to devote to that process?

[D_McG]

I would definitely nightwean. By 18 mos or so my 2 just couldn't handle nursing at night anymore. Their needs had changed. Couple of nights of drama and it was done. Then, sleeeeeeep

[sunnygir1]

Oh, yeah, I didn't even think of that!  Mine definitely started sleeping longer stretches when night weaned and moved to their own beds for bedtime (even though we continued to cosleep after their first waking).

[mamatoady]

thanks for the replies....any suggestions on nightweaning a 21 month old?  Sounds like hell to me and I have no help.

Sarah

[ShwarmaQueen]

AT 16 mos, DS started STTN just a few days after we weaned (total weaning). It was indeed a few rough nights and I broke down a few times and nursed him, but yah, it was def worth it!

[Super~Single~Mama]

I night weaned DS at 19mo, and he's a sleep HATER.  Seriously, getting him to go to sleep is miserable, still, but at least he SLEEPS at night now! 

I started by deciding that there would be no nursing from 11pm and 6am.  Period.  A sippy of water was by the bed in case he wanted that, and we did that for a week.  It helped that his dad (who hasn't lived with us since DS was 11mo, but who has always had overnight visits) was in on the plan as well and didn't give bottles overnight once I started nightweaning.  Then I extended the time to be from 11pm to 7am.  (I did each phase for a week, stretching the time when DS got home from his dad's - since he didn't nurse those nights it made it easier)  Then I did from 10pm to 7am.  Then 9pm to 7am.  Then, finished!

I still keep water by the bed, but he rarely wakes up anymore.

[sunnygir1]

Originally Posted by mamatoady 

thanks for the replies....any suggestions on nightweaning a 21 month old?  Sounds like hell to me and I have no help.

Sarah

It might be hell, or it might go smoothly.  My ds is proving more difficult than my dd, but she had all her teeth by the time we night weaned, and he is still teething.  With dd, it was really just a couple bad nights, then things started getting better.  Can you get a stretch of a few days you can devote to being tired?  Can you get some help during the day so you can nap?  It really will probably be well worth a couple bad nights if your current situation is as unbearable as you describe...I mean, it sounds like you are ready to make a change, no?

[mamatoady]

I'm either really lazy or really indecisive...I think that's why I end up nursing for so long.  When my other two night weaned I was pregnant both times and they were each about 3 years old.  They were old enough that when I said "nursies are tired" or "we're not nursing, but I'll hold you" they gave a little resistance, but not much and they didn't scream and cry about it.  My youngest screams and cries about anything that doesn't go her way and her stamina is profound.  We're moving into an apartment next week, if I'm going to do it, it better be now because I don't think the people below us want to hear a screaming baby all night.